Undisputed
REVIEWED 09/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Bulging with big hairy two-fisted bull and macho vein-popping bravado, this big screen offering tries real hard to be the ultimate guy movie of the year.

In it, Wesley Snipes snarls out a surprisingly underdone performance as Monroe Hutchens - a rather puzzling tough-as-nails middle weight fighter convicted of murder, who has continued to defend a ten-year reign against all classes of hardened criminals behind bars in the Warden-sanctioned 'boxing program', at the Mojave Desert's isolated Sweetwater Prison. When George 'Iceman' Chambers (Ving Rhames), a hugely egocentric boxer and heavy weight champion of the world, is sent there on a highly publicized rape charge, it's only a matter of time before a persuasive yet crotchety old mobster (overly chewed out by Peter Falk) has these two ferocious bruisers relentlessly pounding at each other in front of a crowd of chest-thumping inmates.

Wild contrivances and testosterone-drenched egos aside, there's really not too much in the way of a story here. Sure, there's a vague attempt made at fleshing out the main characters as archetypal sassy thugs in golden gloves. However, the obvious reason why this flick exists is simply to glorify an historically brutal sport that's little more than a well-choreographed street brawl. It's about The Big Fight, not the men slugging it out mano a mano. And, that's where this picture fails miserably. Sure, the fight scenes are pretty intense, but who cares? Neither of these men, nor any of the supporting cast members, are particularly interesting enough contenders beyond the mindless realm of beat 'em up robots and the blood-thirsty voyeurs who want to live vicariously through them. What a disappointing waste of acting talent.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Underworld
REVIEWED 09/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

The end of a Centuries-old blood feud between two omnipotent and monstrously shadowy races is close at hand. For the aristocratic-like Vampires, who live in the lush surroundings of a palatially bygone yet high-tech mansion tucked far from prying eyes, it will come in the guise of the much-anticipated Wakening of their ancient warrior-leader Marcus in two days time. After an age of slumber deep within the safety of his elaborate vaulted tomb, he is scheduled to rise again and bind the forces of two powerful houses by wedding Amelia - his fanged nobility bride-to-be, before prophetically vanquishing the world of these dark spawns' most lethal and hated enemy: Werewolves. Beaten and dispersed after the huge medieval Battle of Lucian where it's believed their fierce lycanthropic king was slain, and then systematically hunted down for the past six hundred years by silver-slinging vampiric 'Death Dealers', that quietly growing guerilla army of equally immortal wolf men has been secretly following its own path towards finally ceasing this continually relentless bloody war. However, when one such well-armed and strong-minded night sentinel named Selene (Kate Beckinsale) unknowingly snatches American doctor Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman) from the clutches of a team of deadly Lycans, and then stumbles upon proof that Lucian (Michael Sheen) still lives and is masterminding what appears to be a triumphant siege against her over lording brood, she breaks ranks and wakes the only one she thinks she can trust: Viktor (Bill Nighy), another high-level vampire from the glory days when these hairy man-beasts were their lowly slaves. At the same time, Michael begins to experience strange visions of that time, after being bitten during another kidnapping attempt, and soon discovers that what courses through his veins links him with the terrible past of both clans, as well as to an unthinkable future for all concerned...

Frankly, I seriously expected this action-packed horror to be little more than a wildly cheesy gorefest slickly shot to the tune of the 'Matrix' flicks. And, it does smack of that immensely impressive cinematography throughout - with the added grey heaviness that shooting in rainy Prague and Budapest offers. However, this is also an amazingly imaginative story about two infamous tribes of monsters familiar to our lexicon of fear, that truly does a great job of stylishly retelling and building on what we already know from books and movies and long-standing lore. Tales of Vampires have apparently been around since the Hebrew Torah was written (look up the Rabbinical study of 'Lilith' sometime), and the Werewolf saga is believed to have existed for a few Millennia in one form or another. Here, we get sexy, leather-clad bloodsuckers fighting hordes of beefy snarling wolf men. Both of whom have upgraded their weaponry with the times in fairly clever ways, without really changing a lot of what fans probably love about each of these scary night-dwelling creatures. Sure, the script and plotline do sometimes feel as though this picture was based on either a shoot-em-up computer game or a comic book that may exist or be in the works, but it's still a pretty satisfying romp. About the only aspects that were slightly annoying had to be the Lycans' rather clunky transmogrification process, that almost looks like these scenes were produced through some fairly unimpressive puppet animation, as well as how the climactic scenes featuring what Michael becomes were handled. Without ruining the slightly disappointing surprise ending, that whole bit seemed lazily cobbled together as an aside, considering the exciting build up leading to what is expected to happen to him. It's almost as though Director Len Wiseman didn't really know how to invest the same level of mystique and grandeur to this character and just opted to have him growl a lot under heaps of weird full-torso make up. Maybe to whet the audience's appetite for a possible sequel - who knows.

So, I'd definitely recommend that fans check this one out for the captivating story and tight fights depicted on screen, but I have a sneaking suspicion that 'Underworld' will need the frills that only a top notch DVD release can offer, to make this one truly worth sitting through 'til the fairly lame ending.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Under the Tuscan Sun
REVIEWED 10/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

A year after the philandering of her long-time husband abruptly shattered her happy married life, and pushed this bright literary critic and University professor into trading her lovely San Francisco house - bought with money inherited from her mother - for a claustrophobic one bedroom furnished apartment, numbed-hearted Francis Mayes (Diane Lane) hesitantly finds herself on a ten-day tour of Romantic Tuscany as a celebratory divorce gift from her zealously concerned friend Patti (Sandra Oh). Everyone else on that bus is Gay, and yet she still manages to find spontaneous love somewhere between the ancient cobble stoned piazza of Florence and the richly colourful beauty of Cortona. Francis falls for Bramasole, a secluded three hundred year-old ivy-covered villa nestled behind olive trees and low stone walls, that has just recently gone on the market. As fate would have it, this simple rustic mansion's name means 'something that yearns for the sun'. Just as Mayes' resilient but temporarily broken soul does. So, she buys the old house and begins to transform her new home in this foreign countryside into a place where she can begin again. Dreaming of a time when this vivacious single woman can share it with a family she doesn't yet have. Where a wedding will be, even though Francis - or, 'Francesca' as her neighbours call her - is unsure about letting another man affect her wounded emotions. That is, until she ends up fed up with becoming embroiled in a blossoming doomed love affair between one of her Polish workmen and a local landlord's daughter, and Francesca escapes on a day trip where she stumbles into a romance of her own within the charming arms of Marcello (Raoul Bova) in the picturesque coastal city of Postilano. Work continues at Bramasole as Mayes grows into her reclaimed happiness, but a distraught and very pregnant Patti soon lands on her doorstep.

Frankly, Diane Lane is absolutely wonderful in this role adapted from the real Francis Mayes' three hundred page best-selling 1997 food and flora-lush memoir of the same name. Fans of that book might be a little disappointed by screenwriter Audrey Wells' deliciously captivating script, since this flick is apparently quite a bit different than that potboiler. However, what we get here is a delightfully fresh romantic comedy about second chances and rebirth. Lane is a knockout as the self-determined everywoman, aptly carrying each scene with the kind of smarts and humour that instantly draw you into her story from the moment her character's life crumbles around her until all of her dreams are fulfilled as you hope they would be. It has spirit, loads of laughs, and real heart. This picture was obviously a labour of love, and every succulent detail of that breathtaking edge of Italy serves to lavishly enhance the often hilarious path that our film Francis and her quirky ensemble wistfully fumbles along. It's an incredibly tight story that could very easily become one of the few favourites of the year for many moviegoers, simple because it's such a great movie that's definitely well worth the attention and praise. Both Sandra Oh and Lindsay Duncan (as Cortona's ex-patriot Brit eccentric Katherine) are also marvelous with their parts, as is Vincent Riotta, as Mayes' gentlemanly friendly realtor Signor Martini. Do yourself a favour and check this one out on the big screen for the full sights and sounds travelogue effect. Awesome.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

The Upside of Anger
REVIEWED 04/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Grey Wolfmeyer is gone. After a long, apparently loving marriage that brought four beautiful daughters Hadley, Emily, Andy and Lavender (nicknamed 'Popeye') into their sprawling suburban Detroit home with his devoted housewife Terry (Joan Allen; 'Pleasantville' (1998), 'The Bourne Supremacy' (2004)), Grey simply disappeared from their lives. He's run off with his young Swedish personal assistant, emotionally shattered and simmering Terry tells her shocked girls over dinner. In a strange way, that's a source of comfort for Terry. It's the only reason that makes any sense to her, as her rage at being so coldly abandoned slowly pours over her and congeals as a numbing quagmire of jagged depression that nudges her to chronic alcoholism. "You see these women on television, who've been left and they're all so whiny," she commiserates from the solitude of her lonely bed, "But, look at me!" Denny Davies (Kevin Costner; 'Tin Cup' (1996), '3000 Miles to Graceland' (2001)), retired pro baseball World Series champion turned boozy, disgruntled 101 WRIF radio personality and family friend, can't believe what's happened. Sure, he's always had a thing for Terry, but he liked Grey. Denny was just about to close a lucrative development deal with him for the Wolfmeyer's property that would combine it with the eight acre lot next door already slated for sub division construction. All of that goes on the back burner, as Davies starts dropping by to keep Terry and the girls company through their crisis. He doesn't really know why, it just feels right. Going so far as to parlay an assistant producer job for Andy (Erika Christensen; 'Traffic' (2000), 'The Perfect Score' (2004)) on his call in sports program - a stunt that further insenses Terry, when she discovers that her second youngest has started dating Denny's lecherous producer 'Shep' Goodman (Mike Binder). It's bad enough that aspiring ballerina Emily (Keri Russell; 'Honey I Blew Up the Kid' (1992), ''We Were Soldiers' (2002)) is getting thinner and more aggressively distant by the day, and that her eldest girl Hadley (Alicia Witt; 'Dune' (1984), 'Two Weeks Notice' (2002)) is pregnant and getting married straight out of college. The world is falling apart around this middle aged wreck, and her only meager semblance of sanity seems to be in the arms of this washed up and scruffy old ex-jock who's probably just hanging around for another dinner invite.

Frankly, I truly wanted to enjoy this otherwise plodding and confused chick flick. 'The Upside of Anger' has almost all of the elements that should have made it a thoroughly satisfying mature examination of these beleageured lives. The cast seems perfect, with Allen and Costner - basically playing recognizably low key versions themselves - easily sliding into their roles with a kind of casualness rarely seen in Hollywood films. And, the script does contain brief glimpses of thoughtful intelligence and surprising soft laughs wrung out of this story of brittle despair. The problem is, hardly any of it works enough to keep a paying audience locked in to what's going on. These actors end up staring at each other with blank expressions, suddenly bursting into crazy, forced laughter for no obvious reason, and then go back to their individual sleep walking until something else that's not particularly interesting happens. Nothing really happens with any concise tangibility until five minutes before the closing credits, unfortunately. There aren't even any well defined anecdotes to keep the pace going. So, no. You're never told how Lavender (Evan Rachel Wood; 'Simone' (2002), 'Thirteen' (2003)) got her nickname. Why? Everything feels heavily watered down or completely miss-stepped here, with screenwriter/director Binder's ('Indian Summer' (1993), 'The Sex Monster' (1999)) script unable to capably articulate what's going through these characters' minds most of the time. There's definitely a heavy reliance upon whatever these proven talents have brought to the set, making their vain struggles to pull meaningful performances out of thin air painfully clear and exhaustively boring over the course of this feature's hundred and eighteen-minute screening. Binder ends up becoming the one consistently redeeming figure in front of the camera that manages to keep you from drifting into a coma. Strange, considering Shep is really a peripheral thorn over-all and not particularly important to the plot.

Apparently shot entirely in England, 'The Upside of Anger' really should have been a far better movie. However, it chickens out at every turn and becomes more a maudlin After School Special for Boomers, or a dragged out Art House showcase resembling a forgettable off Broadway stage play on celluloid.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Unleashed
REVIEWED 05/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Uncle Bart (Bob Hoskins) has a problem. Being the biggest and baddest loan shark in Glasgow has taken its toll over the many years that he's maintained a brutally tight reign over his wide ranging list of sometimes less than trustworthy clientele. Sure, the freedom and the power and money's pretty good. And, there's still a certain thrill to the job for him, whenever a business transaction turns sour and he's forced to unleash his dog on whomever doesn't pay him what ever dues they've agreed to cough up. That part still keeps it fun. No, Bart's problem is that his dog Danny (Jett Li) didn't take the initiative when they were attacked recently. After all that he's done for this trained goon, taking him off of the streets as a young boy, feeding and clothing him, and giving him a cozy squalid cage in Bart's damp and dingy office to live in, that's how altruism and kindness is repaid. It's bloody unbelievable, really. Even a real dog would have come to its master's rescue, where Danny just stood there while those thugs proceeded to smash up Bart's face. Bloody unbelievable. What's worse, Danny has run away from home, just as he's approached with a new and potentially lucrative business proposition involving a series of underground death matches secretly held for the pleasure and entertainment of wealthy sports enthusiasts. Meanwhile, Danny befriends an elderly American blind man and piano tuner named Sam (Morgan Freeman), who takes him in without question, encouraging this shy lost soul with the held of step-daughter Victoria (Kerry Condon) to feel human again as part of this broken yet happy family. Teaching him to confidently go outside and shop at the nearby supermarket. Helping Danny to appreciate good music, good food and good conversation like he's never had the opportunity to do before. However, he's soon discovered and dragged back to his loving Uncle's world of violence, forced to face another opponent in that murderous pit and to fight to the death for a jeering crowd. Refusing to at first, but being given no alternative but to defend himself - until he can escape to the sanctuary that he's found with Sam and Victoria, unwittingly putting them all in danger...

Remember 'Kiss of the Dragon' (2001), in which Li and Bridget Fonda vaguely managed to wrestle a dramatic love story out of that pretense laden and fairly cheesy martial arts flick? Well, 'Danny the Dog' (this one's original title) carries on from that foundation, with writer Luc Besson's screenplay wonderfully presenting a reasonably compelling human story continually interrupted by bouts of searing fight scenes and gratuitous, blood stained wreckage. In some ways, this hundred and three-minute picture feels like a new breed of action movie, where the primary characters aren't numbingly stereo typical human finger puppets emulating stock emotions in between thumping each wave of bad guys to a pile of pulp. Superior casting choices that have Freeman and Hoskins carrying the acting load clearly has a lot to do with it. However, it's still very much a Jet Li film. An extremely good one at that, frankly. Director Louis Leterrier masterfully brings out the best from this crew, allowing Danny's emotionally complex transformation to almost magically happen before your eyes without clobbering a paying audience with familiar clichés or killing the momentum with high minded concepts. That aspect delicately sneaks up on you throughout, cleverly enhancing its ferocious, revenge-tinged theme in such a way that beautifully fleshes out the entire picture. It's even more amazing when you consider that these three very strong personified forces never overshadow each other - truly making this one a cinematic rarity well worth the price of admission. Yes, it's definitely strange that not a single Scottish brogue is heard from anyone living in this particular depiction of Downtown Glasgow, Scotland, but that oversight could easily be considered its only flaw, more or less.

Absolutely check out this hugely impressive and extremely entertaining masterpiece that dishes out far more than its rounds of bone crushing fight sequences.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Undiscovered
REVIEWED 08/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

"He'd do it for free," aspiring LA actress and singer Clea (Ashlee Simpson) explains the mystery that is songwriter/rock band leader Luke Falcon (Steven Strait) to former New York model-turned-acting class student Brier Tucket (Pell James) as the two women drive into the Los Angeles night. "He said it was the only way he could thank his Dad for the piano lessons". Luke was a compelling enigma to Brier. Tall. Moody. Fragile. The way his long dark hair lazily draped over his deeply intense eyes, she couldn't get their first chance meeting on a Manhattan subway platform a year ago out of her thoughts, now that they had met again in the small bar where he sings his heart out. An unknown voice ignored by the din of that beer swilling crowd. She heard him. Tucket had seen him. Really seen his soul. The way the uncanny truth of his music changed you into being someone more like the person you'd always hoped could exist confused, energized and frightened Brier all at the same time. Unlike Brier's philandering boyfriend and stadium concert comeback trail kid Mick Benson (Stephen Moyer), Falcon was a man of his time, just waiting for someone to make him a star. That drive through the city with her friend Clea was where it would all begin. They would create a buzz around Luke. Spread the word. Websites. Blogs. Chatrooms. Tucket's East Coast manager Carrie (Carrie Fisher) could help, too. Using her connections to bring in professional Brazilian groupie Josie (Shannyn Sossamon) to heat up his stage act, as well as get his photo in the newspapers as the next big sound from coast to coast. The problem was, it worked. Luke's simple life of playing for a small crowd had disappeared, and he felt ill equipped to stop the cult of popularity from letting all that he ever was slip away. Everything that had mattered was disappearing, including disillusioned Brier. Happiness had remained undiscovered, until it seemed too late to bring back.

Remember when music videos first started adding small dramatic interludes that gave musicians the chance to act? Do you recall how embarrassing it was to watch a lot of them? Welcome to 'Undiscovered', the directorial return of U2 and Bruce Springsteen music video anthologist Meiert Avis ('Far from Home' (1989)). Frankly, I felt like I was sitting through an extended version of one of those terribly contrived music video dramatic interludes of fifteen-plus years ago, as this plodding ninety-seven minute snooze fest desperately attempts to emulate grainy reality television hung like dripping wet laundry on screenwriter John Galt's slender strand of a script. There's nothing to it, except gobs of screen presence dragged by the nose through a naively uninspired love story surrounding up and coming LA rock star Luke Falcon (Steven Strait; 'Sky High' (2005)) and New York fashion model turned wannabe West Coast actress Brier Tucket (Pell James; 'Uptown Girls' (2003), 'Broken Flowers' (2005)), fanned from the sidelines by Ashlee Simpson as Brier's well meaning friend Clea, and Kip Pardue as Luke's quirky older brother Euan. Every scene feels like a cameo. None of the dialogue bothers to remember that a paying audience needs at least a little tiny reason to care what happens to these crazy mixed up kids in their crazy mixed up world. Pardue is really the only spark here, and his efforts are easily overshadowed by Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog's brief handful of appearances. The ones where you actually see this mutt pad down the street with his skateboard, until he jumps on and rolls away. Come to think of it, I'd actually prefer to use the rest of this movie review to talk about Tyson. He's a white and black Bulldog. He has the kind of face that reminds me of actor Ernest Borgnine, and he has stubby legs that crazily blur as he gets up to speed for what I guess is his favourite trick. A trick that, y'know, involves this Bulldog named Tyson riding a skateboard all by himself. It's funny to watch him. I don't know if he can do anything else, this flick didn't show him doing much of anything else. Too bad. Vote for Tyson, if the MTV Movie Awards come knocking. He steals the show here.

'Undiscovered' makes chewing glass after getting two root canals drilled one of the more enjoyable pleasures of life.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

An Unfinished Life
REVIEWED 09/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

The house. The work shed. The farm. The tree. His grave. Aged ex-cattle rancher Einar Gilkyson's (Robert Redford) world seemed to inch smaller and smaller every single day that his life took too damned long to get over with. Even Old Mitch Bradley (Morgan Freeman) - who stuck around, mostly bedridden in the property's cozy log cabin near the main house - seemed to still have more life in his scratched and mangled carcass than Einar could understand. The Grizzly had mauled Bradley pretty bad a year earlier, but Mitch's eyes were as bright as ever, and it didn't seem to just be from the daily doses of morphine that Gilkyson stabbed into his longtime friend's left or right butt cheek every morning before coffee. Mitch was where he'd always wanted to be. Einar didn't know where else to go. The cattle were gone. His wife had left him. His world revolved around routine, that revolved around that nearby grave on the hillside in plain view from the front porch. The jagged rock, etched with the name of his beloved twenty-one year-old son Griffin, taken far too soon in a stupid car accident in Winnipeg a dozen years ago that was Griffin's young wife Jean's (Jennifer Lopez) fault. She was behind the wheel. She had fallen asleep. She had killed his boy. Now, she had come back to this property, on the run for the last two days and three hundred miles from one of her abusive boyfriends, with her young daughter (Becca Gardner) under her arm. Griffin's daughter. Einar's grand daughter, meeting him for the first time. This was too much, too soon after Griffin's death for him. New life in an old tomb doesn't mix well. And, now Mitch is talking nonsense about wanting Einar to go visit the pen where the bear that had brutally disfigured him was kept on display for the local kids. None of this was part of the routine. Gilkyson hadn't asked for any of it, but there it was and he had to deal with it. Gene staying with him, working at the town diner. His grand daughter getting into everything. His pick up truck breaking down. Mitch pushing him. The bear. And, the cigarette butts that aren't his, littering the grave site and bringing more trouble to these mountains than anyone should put up with...

Academy Award-winning Hollywood icon and Sundance Film Festival founder Robert Redford ('The Horse Whisperer' (1998), 'Spy Game' (2001)) continues his on-going quest to find visceral substance in character-driven films as he slowly retraces the far more acclaimed path of Clint Eastwood ('Unforgiven (1992), 'Million Dollar Baby' (2004)), in this decidedly small and laid back effort from two-time Oscar-nominated director Lasse Hallström ('What's Eating Gilbert Grape' (1993), 'The Shipping News' (2001)). I actually mean that as a compliment, because I've found that Redford's impeccable acting abilities have been sorely missed or poorly cast for the big screen throughout the last couple of decades. With 'An Unfinished Life', a paying audience is finally treated with a truly worthwhile role suited to Redford's calibre, even if his character of Ishawoda, Wyoming's curmudgeonly grieving ex-cattle rancher Einar Gilkyson does sometimes feel as though it was written for Eastwood. Although, it might also seem like that because he plays opposite memorable Eastwood cinematic side kick Morgan Freeman ('Glory' (1989), 'Unleashed' (2005)) - who essentially revisits the same typecast voice of earthy reason that moviegoers have been given little choice but become accustomed to since 'The Shawshank Redemption' (1994). That's not so much a compliment, considering that Freeman is far more versatile a talent to continually strum the same note for virtually half of his film career. Shot in British Columbia and Alberta, this hundred and seven-minute picture is a pure joy to absorb. The majority of this impressive cast is clearly encouraged to fully realize their angst-filled characters with delightfully blunt dialogue matched by an insightful unspoken language of gestures throughout. From an acting standpoint, 'An Unfinished Life' truly is a masterpiece. Unfortunately, Mark and Virginia Korus Spragg's screenplay seems far too pared down at times and suffers from serious bouts of chop-itis under film editor Andrew Mondshein's distracting hand. It's as though many of the dramatic sub plots touched upon as shorthand aren't really paid close enough attention to or fleshed out enough, so there's a level of captivating intensity missing from the mix that this feature and its main cast - which also co-stars Jennifer Lopez ('Selena' (1997), 'Monster-in-Law' (2005)) as Gilkyson's brutalized ex-daughter-in-law Jean in yet another astoundingly fresh on-screen achievement, Josh Lucas ('Sweet Home Alabama' (2002), 'Stealth' (2005)), and tremendously good Becca Gardner ('What Ever Happened to Alice' (2003)) as Jean's teen daughter Griff - could have easily benefited from. It's still a wonderfully unpretentious flick well worth spending time with, but there is an annoying sense after the closing credits roll that it could have been a far more robust effort on all fronts and not just in the incredibly strong performances that stick to your bones long afterwards.

Absolutely pick this award-worthy offering as a potentially treasured rental that hopefully convinces Redford to get back on his Tinseltown saddle more often.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Underworld 2
REVIEWED 01/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Awkwardly lurching forward from some point shortly after the ending of the far more entertaining and wonderfully intriguing 'Underworld' (2003), this surprisingly boring sequel from director Len Wiseman (he directed the first one) lazily pits deliciously vampiric, former Death Dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale; 'Serendipity' (2001), 'The Aviator' (2004)) and her somewhat befuddled love interest, hybrid super ghoul Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman; 'Dark Blue' (2002), 'xXx: State of the Union' (2005)) against the terribly uninteresting, dastardly machinations of recently risen, grey-skinned and bat-like immortal Marcus (Tony Curran; 'Flight of the Phoenix' (2004), 'The 13th Warrior' (1999)). Sadly, this entire hundred and six-minute sequel so heavily relies on a paying audience coming to the theatre after having just watched the first one that writer Danny McBride's screenplay barely bothers to weave anything new into this bullet riddled mess. It's all big feet and elbows flailing around in slow motion to a vacuously trippy back beat, that I guess is meant to satisfy an intended audience of gamers who don't want to suffer any separation anxieties away from their consoles. But, I paid to see an awesome MOVIE, please... Yes, there's lots of Goth garbs and gobs of bloody goo, but the werewolves that rebelled against their vampire overlords the first time around are entirely relegated to the background as mindless growl boxes in muscular fur or as grudging after thoughts. This one's basically 'Blade' (1998) with a different cast on a cheaper budget.

The main problem is that there's no tangible context, except for a bunch of half baked references, video replays and cobbled together flashbacks that still expect you remember all of the good stuff from before. 'Underworld: Evolution' (its actual title) inevitably feels sorely lacking as a result, going so far as to toss in a bit of gratuitous nudity in order to wake you out of your slumber just before somebody slams through another stone wall or Marcus stabs someone else with the pointy ends of his nasty computer animated wings. Yawn. How is this enjoyable to anyone other than the studio accountants who probably green lighted this thing without asking if it had a script that contains more than a lot of "She shoots this, that and the next thing, and then says some words before the CGI guys take over"? Well, it's not entertaining, and really does feel that knocked together as a lame sell-out. The worst part is, you've pretty well seen it all before, and the few scenes that do contain some tenuous semblance of originality are merely silly and forgettable. Sure, the first couple of fights are great. The entire scenario set in 1202 AD is the best part, but it's at the beginning and doesn't last long enough to make up for the rest of what slothfully transpires amongst this snoozer's crew of carefully posed and postured human finger puppets. Unlike in 'Underworld', all of the characters here are completely one-dimensional and their deadpan lines could have easily been phoned in. Of course, the only reason to sit through this one is to see Beckinsale and Speedman in the all together without you really seeing anything anatomically sexual, but neither look like they truly care if this offering is any good or not. As though they'd been rudely called in for a few contractual close ups, pulling them away from such comparably more fascinating possible enjoyments as colour coordinating socks or chewing glass.

Yeah, it'll make a pile of easy cash just on the hype, but so did Pet Rocks and Mood Rings. It might be okay as part of a double feature rental night with the original, but on its own, 'Underworld 2' is a confusing and hugely disappointing slog that's pretty well a total waste of the cast's talent and your time.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

UltraViolet
REVIEWED 03/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Milla Jovovich ('The Fifth Element' (1997), 'Resident Evil: Apocalypse' (2004)) revisits excruciatingly familiar, futuristic territory as virally mutated humanoid turned vampiric hemophage mercenary Violet Song jat Shariff bent on saving a cloned little boy named Six (Cameron Bright; 'Godsend' (2004), 'Running Scared' (2006)), who's been turned into a biological weapon with an eight-hour shelf life and destined to usher in the deadly machinations of this post-pandemic Earth's tyrannical Arch Cardinal Daxus (Nick Chinlund; 'The Chronicles of Riddick' (2004), 'The Legend of Zorro' (2005)). I actually can't believe that this otherwise proven starring talent seems to want to position herself as the new Dolph Lundgren of the big screen, but sadly, the evidence keeps growing. It seems fitting that this latest effort from writer/director Kurt Wimmer ('North's War' (1995), 'Equilibrium' (2002)) begins with its opening credits offered up as various comic book covers, because 'UltraViolet' is essentially one big live-action cartoon throughout. It's as though Wimmer caught wind that a feature length adaptation of 'Aeon Flux' (2005) was being made, and decided to attempt making his own with a cooler title and much less focus on such apparently unimportant things such as cobbling together a cohesive enough screenplay or giving his cast members much of anything to do in front of the camera except sneer at each other and pose to the trippy back beat a lot throughout. It's about vampires, but they're not really vampires in any noticeable sense.

This fictional dystopia is governed by heavily guarded medical scientists, and yet they've taken on religious icons and names for no apparent reason other than (I guess) it's hip to vaguely bash organized Christianity. This picture makes references to a kind of ethnic cleansing on the scale of the Holocaust, but Wimmer's script fails to use that as anything other than a lazy bit of disposable context tossed in to justify this supposed last ditch hemophage uprising that primarily hinges on one person doing all of the skulking and shooting and sword play on her own. Bright's entrance makes great use of this feature's bafflegab about spatial compression, but from the curious lack of depth that's afforded him, his character may as well be a toxic gingerbread man cookie with dots of dark icing for eyes. Slogging through this incredibly wasteful missed opportunity actually does feel like a paying audience is being forced to admire an otherwise gorgeously illustrated Sci-Fi picture book that forgets to tell any tangibly captivating story. I'd read that Jovovich proclaimed her love for this pistol packin', brassy femme fatale, but she looks absolutely bored during most of her scenes here. However, maybe that's just an after effect of the heavily used computer enhanced recolouring obviously applied to many of her close-ups, that makes Violet look like a Botox treatment junkie. Sure, it's fun picking out this flick's tritely prerequisite visual references to the likes of 'Tron' (1982), 'Akira' (1988), 'Barb Wire' (1996), 'Blade' (1998), and of course 'The Matrix' (1999), but this over-all silly and dismally boring eighty-eight minute blob of celluloid hamburger bloated with uninteresting finger puppets dressed in monochromatic designer gear is pretty well the type of movie where you could easily expect to see a product placement for Hummers or Band-Aids appear once the smoke clears after each hugely choreographed, high octane bout of bullet riddled carnage is done puncturing subsequent platoons of guards, soldiers, gangsters and other sundry one-dimensional bad guys. It's extremely commercial looking, bereft of any substance or memorable entertainment value - other than seeing the results of Bernardo Trujillo's truly exotic art direction - and hardly worth the price of admission, unless you really need to see Jovovich sleep walk on the big screen 'til the real acting jobs finally (hopefully) come through. Yawn.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

United 93
REVIEWED 05/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

What had been expected to be just another mundane five hour and twenty-five minute commuter flight from Newark, New Jersey to San Francisco, California on the morning of September 11, 2001 quickly became a harrowing journey into terror for the passengers and crew of United Airlines flight 93, when their plane became one of four commercial airliners hijacked by Al-Qaeda terrorist cells, and this Cinema Verité/Reality-style depiction from writer/director Paul Greengrass ('Bloody Sunday' (2002), 'The Bourne Ultimatum' (2007)) of that mid-air attack is quite possibly the best drama released in theatres so far this year. While 'United 93' is an incredible achievement in masterfully pulling a paying audience into this story that's essentially the same as watching anything about the Hindenburg or the Titanic - you know what happens, before going in - as well as deftly capturing the sense of overwhelming disbelief that permeated the events of that fateful day, I'm hesitant to call this hundred and eleven-minute picture a reenactment. Yes, it's obvious that a huge amount of research went into the making of it, and it's undeniably noteworthy that some of the people who were actually involved do portray themselves here, but nobody will ever know every detail of what exactly happened from the time Flight 93 left Newark International Airport until it crashed in a Somerset County, Pennsylvania field an hour and twenty minutes after its delayed take-off, killing everyone on board who wasn't already brutally murdered en route to what is believed to be that suicide mission's target: The White House. However, data from that flight's cockpit voice recorder does reportedly reveal a somewhat different set of facts than what are presented here. You can read the nine page transcript at http://edition.cnn.com/ interactive/law/0604/transcript.flight93/index.html.

Don't get me wrong, 'United 93' is an absolutely fascinating and chillingly breath taking film that will likely haunt you long after the closing credits roll. Do get caught up with the wonderful performances from this ensemble cast that includes US feature first timers Saeed Al Ghamdi as hesitant cell leader Lewis Alsamari and Cheyenne Jackson as passenger Mark Bingham who almost misses that flight, as well as Christian Clemenson ('Hannah and Her Sisters' (1986), 'Lost & Found' (1999)) portraying Thomas E. Burnett, Jr. as the unofficial leader of those hostages' ad hoc revolt. Do be amazed at the marvelously respectful manner in which Greengrass' screenplay never attempts to exploit this violent act or those involving the other three planes that unfortunately did reach their targets with horrifying results. This truly is a must-see on the big screen. Just be careful not to summarily accept what you're watching as being entirely accurate, no-matter how much cinematographer Barry Ackroyd makes you feel as though you're there and watching the real tragedy unfold.

Absolutely check out 'United 93' as a memorable cinematic tribute for its incredible cast and for its masterfully realistic depictions that escalate into sheer horror, but keep in mind that it's also a dramatic movie electrified by real events that's been selectively recreated.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY

Umrao Jaan
REVIEWED 11/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Merely a girlish child named Ameeran when kidnapped, secreted miles away to Lucknow from her loving family and Faizabad birth place, and sold to the brothel of shrewd madam Khanum Sahib's (Shabana Azmi; 'Ankur' (1974), 'Fire' (1996)) aristocratic courtesans, aged and renowned Indian poet Umrao Jaan (Aishwarya Rai; 'Devdas' (2002), 'Bride & Prejudice' (2004)) recounts with sorrowful melancholy her dramatic life's influences and experiences before and during British Colonialism of her ancient homeland, in director J.P. Dutta's ('Border' (1997), 'LOC: Kargil' (2003)) visually stunning yet surprisingly plodding subtitled Hindi remake of the acclaimed 1981 South Asian film that's also based on Urdu author and teacher Mirza Muhammad Hadi Ruswa's (1857-1931) 1905 novel Umrao Jaan Ada that's reportedly based on the life of an actual 19th Century courtesan, where the result of Umrao in youth falling in love with her tenuously wealthy client Nawab Sultan (Abhishek Bachchan; 'Sarkar' (2005), 'Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna' (2006)) brings him ruin and forces her to deal with the relentless advances of ruthless bandit chieftain Faiz Ali (Sunil Shetty; 'Hera Pheri' (2000), 'Kyon Ki' (2005)).

Sadly, this one merely feels like a Bollywood retooling of the equally lavish and boring 'Memoirs of a Geisha' (2005) throughout most of it, even though 'Umrao Jaan' doesn't really have much of an indepth story. While Rai and this otherwise impressive main supporting cast do sometimes manage to bring truly satisfying moments of effective nuance to their characters, this feature is primarily a beautifully luxurious showcase for Rai to perform traditional Indian dance in full costume. It doesn't matter that both seem slightly modernized, those musical interludes are truly eye popping. And, not only because of the overwhelmingly grand opulence that designer Abu Jani affords each of the costumes in this film's wardrobe, but due to the fact that cinematographer Ayananka Bose's lens hungrily gobbles up every last gorgeous gesture of Rai's astounding choreography under Vaibhavi Merchant, as well as a virtual cornucopia of saturated colours. Awesome. By comparison, O.P. Dutta's screenplay seems more like a series of peripheral scenes that only vaguely keep this hundred and ninety-minute saga from completely becoming the cinematic equivalent of an extra strength sleeping pill during the dramatic bits. The characters seem to move in slow motion for some inexplicable reason, making it somewhat of a chore to remain interested in what ever transpires. I'm guessing that one or the other Dutta was hoping to create an atmosphere of melancholy, choosing to open this feature with Rai barely moving at all while lamenting her life as a seguay into the first of many flashbacks. It doesn't work. It's boring. Often. Azmi is pretty well the only presence that consistently makes you sit up and take notice, and not simply because she apparently has a lot to live up to in stepping into the same role that her mother apparently played in the original film. You can sense the underlying menace in Sahib's cooing smiles. Awesome. It's also a delight to see Divya Dutta ('Veer-Zaara' (2004), 'Waris Shah' (2006)) effortlessly light up this picture - albeit mostly from the background as Umrao's jealous friend and fellow courtesan Bismillah - adding a nice rivalry that likely could have been embellished upon much more, in order to flesh out a potentially interesting dynamic within those lavish brothel walls. Bachchan and Shetty probably could have phoned in their lines. So much of this feature really isn't pushed far enough in getting the most out of the cast or the story. I've seen some of them perform a whole lot better in the recent past, so it's aggravating to sit through so much wasted opportunity here.

Definitely rent this one for the visually astounding song and dance sequences, but keep your thumb perched over the fast forward button throughout the majority of what remains of this disappointingly slow paced big screen slog.

home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY