Tadpole
REVIEWED 08/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Shot completely in a kind of 8mm-ish, 1970's independent film school style, this casual, humourous movie struck me as being a gift to the Baby Boomer generation. Or, at least for those current Forty-Somethings who still pine for the hallowed halled emersion of literature and idiology and other such pompous passions long since waylaid by life and age. This is not a wild 'Ferris Beuller Gets Laid' romp (as I'd expected it to be), but a coyly sophisticated 'Son of The Graduate'.

Here, the intellectual yet immature fifteen year-old Oscar - nicknamed 'Tadpole' - returns from college to finally announce his secret smitteness of his middle-aged European stepmother (subduely played by Sigourney Weaver). His poetically gushing, rather juvenile lust leads our hero through a light-hearted Manhattan comedy of errors and innuendoes.

This is a seamlessly paced, wonderfully human Coming of Age story. A rare treat, where you actually get to see the main character's emotional growth believeably evolve from that of a rather snobbish sophomore in to that of an empathetic young scholar. If you think about it, even the title makes sense. It won't be the type of flick for everyone's funnybone tastes, though. There are no hugely outrageous laughs or 'American Pie'-like antics. However, I found this offering to be smart and fresh, and a wholely satisfying charmer.

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The Transporter
REVIEWED 10/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Short on plot and long on outrageous action sequences, this slylishly visual adventure invites you in to the somewhat overly organized workings of an ex-patriot US Special Forces operative who has eked out a comfortable living in the South of France as a self-made high-priced courrier. Kind of an updated 'Casablanca', minus the bar and Nazi's, starring a young die hard.

Frank Martin (Jason Statham) lives by his own simple rules. Never deviating from a planned pick up and drop off. Never asking what's in the package he's delivering. Never knowing the names of those involved. He's extremely good at what he does. Meticulously planning every detail in order to excel at the shady service he provides - much to the admiration-tinged chagrin of the local Police chief (François Berléand). However, Frank's highly organized life quickly nosedives into complete mayhem when a sociopathic frontman for an Asian underworld slave trader suspects that he's broken the rules, and tries to kill him. Blowing up his shiney black BMW. Destroying his rustic Mediterranean home. Having him thrown in jail for kidnapping Lai (Qi Shu), the young woman who was initially the bound and gagged package he was hired to deliver. Leaving our deathly trained hero no alternative but to kick some serious bad guy butt.

Like I'd mentioned, this is a good-looking movie. The coolness factor is right up there. It's like watching a series of well-choreographed video clips highlighting a variety of astounding extreme stunts using slick camerawork set to a chugging backbeat. Unfortunately, everything else in this flick is either extremely contrived or clumsily presented, as if for a drooling mob preteen comicbook fanboys. That's where it runs out of gas as an enjoyable cinemagraphic offering. Apart from Berléand's coyly underplayed sophisticated performance, the overall acting is annoyingly cheesy. The dialogue is so flat and meaningless that the only reason why a paying audience might care about these cardboard characters and this inherantly boring storyline is because of the fully exploited scenery and breakneck violence that continuously explodes across the big screen. So, if you're in the mood for a French twist on the American genre of fast cars, pyrotechnic gunplay, and relentless fight scenes, get ready to switch off your brain for this high-octaine yet numbingly vaccuous romp.

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The Tunnel
REVIEWED 11/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

As a result of post-Second World War treaties hashed out by the United States and the Soviet Union, Hitler's conquered Germany was divided in to East and West countries - obstensively slashing Berlin in half. By the early Autumn of 1961, that former capital had become such a dangerous political powderkeg that was increasingly intensified by the growing Cold War between these two Superpower nations, that Russian troops were enlisted to erect a barbed wire fence to impede so-called Capitalist influences and stop the mass exodus of labour across the uneasy borderline. Separating neighbours and splitting families overnight. This was the birth of the infamous Berlin Wall. Many Germans risked their lives challenging this militarily enforced barricade during the first few weeks after it's construction - and for the following thirty years of it's blightful existance - including the historic first escape by a young soldier who jumped the flimsy barrier in full view of his comrades on the same day that it was completed.

This movie is based on the true story of Hasso Herschel, one of the first to successfully tunnel a route to freedom under the Berlin Wall. Renamed Harry Malchoir (brilliantly executed by Heino Ferch), he's a beligerant National Champion swimmer who initially embraced the Communist inculcation of his patch of the Fatherland, but who quickly rebels against it's propagandist machinations, triggering his imminent arrest. Not wanting to relive another four years in prison as he'd done for his involvement in the June Rebellion of 1953, Harry is forced to disguise himself and defect to the West using a forged Swiss passport provided by Resistance cohorts of his brother-in-law Matthis Hiller (Sebastian Koch). Hiller's an engineer who'd recently dodged through the city's underground sewer system along with his pregnant wife Carola and a handful of others in the hopes of fleeing East Berlin, weeks earlier. Matthis made it, but Carola was captured and thrown in jail. So, over beers in a bar thumping with Rock & Roll, Harry, Matthis, and their small gang devise the logistics of covertly building their tunnel to bring Carola over (or rather, under) - unaware that Fritzi (Nicolette Krebitz), a head-strong young woman denied access to her East German husband-to-be, is eavesdropping on their heroic plot. She quickly joins them and, during the following months as that steel scar is more recognizably fortified into a deathly stern concrete No-Man's-Land, they push against metres of earth and impossible odds. All the while, obsessively tenacious Inspector Krüger (Uwe Kockisch) of the enigmatic and powerful Department of Illegal Immigration stops at nothing to manipulate anyone he can towards sabotaging all attempts to breach the wall, from the Soviet-controlled side. Including Harry's sister.

'The Tunnel' is an incredibly rivetting film that successfully depicts the crushing weight of suspicion and subterfuge that gripped Berlin during that era. Running slightly less than three hours, this English sub-titled epic relentlessly builds to a pulse-pounding feverish pitch as you're dragged through a meatgrinder of explosive emotion and daring plot twists along with these immensely talented actors. Scenes culled from very real instances of raw spirit and terrible consequences truly make this tightly scripted gem of German Cinema a must-see for those hungry to experience high human drama and nail-biting action set against harrowing reality on a scale that easily steamrollers over anything coming out of Hollywood these days. Awesome.

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The Tuxedo
REVIEWED 09/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Cabbie turned chauffeur Jimmy Chong (Chan) is handed the chance to live out every schoolboy's dream as a suave and dangerous master spy, when he inherits his mysterious new boss's best kept secret weapon: A high-tech exoskeletal-like suit. One that's been tailored to resemble a tuxedo, programmed with an inexhaustable library of expert abilities and armed with an arsenal of gadgets instantly accessible to whomever wears it. Problem is, apart from Chong pretty much being a bumbling klutz, this action comedy doesn't quite fit right.

You've got an ultra-debonair James Bond-ish archetype (convincingly played by Jason Isaacs) being pursued by a silly skateboard bomb activated as he leaves a fast food drive-through. You're given a super-smart molecular scientist sidekick (Jennifer Love Hewitt) who stupidly gurns for the camera at almost every opportunity. You get a sociopathic bottled water baron bent on world domination who unflinchingly joins a rowdy roomful of common dinner theatre patrons for an intimate James Brown concert. Nevermind the groan-inducing laboratory caricature you're supposed to believe has enough brains to manipulate hydrogen atoms into dehydrative killers. Over-all, this feature's seams are sloppily put together and the material simply doesn't match properly - unless this movie is meant for little kids, whose parents don't mind them seeing some fairly racey adult irreverance. Ian Fleming must be spinning like a lathe in his grave over this one.

Sure, this lame offering contains a few funny moments. However, each set-up is so clumsily contrived that the laughs feel tired and embarassing. And, yeah. Some of the prerequisite fight scenes are moderately good. But, Chan's heavy-handed insistance that they be overtly coloured with childish humour actually kills your urge to be astounded by his brand of martial arts gymnastics. All of these annoying flaws merely turn a potentially original creation into a disappointing patchwork of hole-infested hand-me-downs.

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Trapped
REVIEWED 09/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

The comfortable lives of a successful research physician and his ex-nurse homemaker wife are brutally shaken, when their adorable toddler becomes the fifth 'guest' of a trio of White Trash serial kidnappers. However, the well-worn plan goes awry this time when leader Joey (Kevin Bacon) quickly discovers that this little girl needs constant medical attention, and then learns the hard way that her ferociously protective parents aren't going to willingly play by his controlled to the minute rules.

Over-all, this is a fairly riveting movie. It wastes no time in creating a nightmarish situation, with the intelligently seething mother (outstandingly played by Charlize Theron) kept housebound by a malicious Joey, and her articulately enraged husband taunted at gunpoint miles away in his hotel room by Joey's beligerant partner (Courtney Love). Sure, there are a few moments of foreshadowing that seem like contrivances manufactured solely for the sake of later offering up minor twists to this story. For instance, the father holds a patent for a rather virilant aneasthetic. So, you know it's only a matter of time before he breaks out a syringe of the stuff to incapacitate one of these bad guys. However, the surprising way in which he meticulously uses this wonder drug is actually pretty clever. Same goes for the quick-mindedness of the smart doctor's better half, who you know will stop at nothing to keep her ailing child safe while finding any means necessary to mete out vengeful justice against her pernicious captor. Momma lion bares her steely claws more than once, with chilling consequences.

Somebody definitely took their vitamins on the day this sceenplay was locked in, because everyone pretty well reacts with the same raw determination that a jaded and demanding audience would expect them to. Still, the best part about this suspenseful game of psychological cat and mouse is that just as you're reassured you know why the daughter of this rich and beautiful couple has been targetted for ransom, it's suddenly revealed that money may not be the primary motivating factor after-all. Sending this already tumultuous pressure cooker spiralling into a breakneck nail-biter of violent emotion and explosive action, as both good and evil insanely battle it out for frantic survival.

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Treasure Planet
REVIEWED 12/02, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Over a Century after Edinburgh-born Robert Louis Stevenson revised 'The Sea Cook' - a children's story originally inspired by a ficticious map he and his young stepson Lloyd Osbourne painted while vacationing in Scotland's Westlands, which subsequently found little notice as seventeen weekly installments entitled 'The Mutiny of the Hispaniola' (1881-82) before being published a year later as his first wildly popular novel 'Treasure Island' - the wizards at Disney Studios offer up this heavily 'Star Wars' influenced animated version of Stevenson's swashbuckling literary masterpiece for a new generation.

Jim Hawkins (voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) returns as an extreme sports Anikan Skywalker-like teenaged humanoid delinquent who courts mischief and arrest rocketing through the sun-baked orange canyons of his weather beaten homeworld Montresser on a flying solar surfer, while his mother (Laurie Metcalf, as Sarah) ekes out a living for them running The Benbow Inn on the fringe of a high tech retrofitted Victorian town. When a mortally wounded reptilian Billy Bones (Patrick McGoohan) passes his much sought after holographic map along with an omenous warning to Jim, our young adventurer sets off on the R.L.S. Legacy from the orbiting spaceport to find the legendary loot of a thousand worlds, with the eager help of canine family friend and bumbling astrophysicist Dr. Dilbert Doppler (David Hyde Pierce). Initially dubious about the onboard cyborg cook John Silver (Brian Murray) that the Legacy's captain (Emma Thompson) puts Hawkins in the care of, they quickly bond during their difficult and deadly voyage through the stars, until betrayal and mutiny erupts within eyesight of Treasure Planet.

Well, this sure isn't the 1934 cinematic favourite starring a boyishly headstrong Jackie Cooper and wonderfully scowling Wallace Beery that I grew up watching every chance that I got as a kid. There are a lot of similarities to these two of many movie versions, but there are also a lot differences. In fact, 'Treasure Planet' really is as much an homage to George Lucas' seminal space opera as it is to Stevenson's lexiconic romantic yarn of treachery on the high seas. To it's credit, this flick is clearly a fantastic imaginative mesh of bygone galleons and alien spacecraft. Chock full of eye-popping action scenes and held together by the classic-based script that's somewhat respectfully retooled with modern prepubescents in mind, this is actually a surprisingly bright and entertaining romp that's well worth checking out.

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Tears of the Sun
REVIEWED 03/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Well, I'll cut right to the chase with this one: What a stupid piece of junk. I'm not even going to bother researching a back-story for this one, since it's so disjointed and heavily marred by fiction that it's not worth the trouble.

Shot almost entirely in Hawaii, 'Tears of the Sun' squirts out a searingly lame war story about US Navy Seals being sent in to rescue a priest, two nuns, and a feisty European doctor (with American citizenship by marriage - which is laughably unattainable on it's own in the real world) from the big nasty machete-swingin' rebels combing the Nigerian countryside for victims to slaughter. A military coupe has erupted, leading to the summary execution of that country's President at the hands of a bloodthirsty general bent on cleansing his new kingdom of ethnic and religious upstarts. Sound familiar? Well, there's more: Flung into an annoyingly mime-like disillusionment about his half dozen man unit not doing anything to help the fleeing masses stranded in the path of this mindless genocide, Lieutenant A.K. Waters (Bruce Willis) plays fast and loose with his mission orders and bows to the good doctor Lena Hendricks' (Monica Bellucci) mewling demands for sympathy and action. Turning his bone grey gun-laden SH-60B Seahawk chopper around, stuffing it full of wounded natives, and marching his men and the doctor and the remaining souls through thirty miles of jungle between them and the Camaroon border. Weird thing is, the rebels are hot on their trail for some reason. Must have something to do with the transmitter found on one of the patients, or that bodyguard and the dead President's son taken under their wing. Don'cha just hate when that happens? Oh well.

Like I said, this is a stupid piece of junk. Bad acting. Lame script. Dreadfully slow and boring. I can see the point of the film trying to show transference of concern from Hendricks to Waters, but it's never made personal enough to really justify his brutal reactions for the audience. That's where it ultimately fails to pull us in and root for the obvious heroics being performed on the screen. So, all we're left with are drawn out scenes of walking and hiding, followed by bouts of meaningless violence from both sides. Awful. Stay away from this propagandist stinker.

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To Be and To Have
REVIEWED 04/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Time for a pop quiz: Who's considered the Proto-Martyr of Christendom, and what's his connection to this subtitled French movie? I'll give you three hints: 1) He's not Jesus Christ. 2) He's usually depicted carrying a pile of rocks. 3) He's not Jerry Lewis. Time's up, it's Saint Stephen. The patron saint of coffin makers, headaches, and stonemasons. According to Luke, in The Bible's Book of Acts, Stephen (his name was actually Stefanos, since he was Greek) was handpicked by the people as one of the first seven Deacons under the original Apostles teaching Christ's message in Jerusalem. He became known as the first martyr after being falsely accused of committing blasphemy and put before the court of his Jewish brethren, where the trial was rudely interrupted when he was dragged out of the city and publicly stoned to death, in either 33 or 257 AD. To this day, the Feast of Saint Stephen is observed - normally on December 26th - as mentioned in John Mason Neale's enduringly popular 1853 ditty about Good King Wenceslas. At any rate, on or around the year 257, a Christian mission had already been established in the South-Eastern Celtic region of Auvergne, France. By the turn of the first Millennium, Saint-Etienne-Sur-Usson ('Etienne' is French for Stephen) had it's own established church shepherding the souls of this richly wooded farmland's fifteen hamlets. In 2002, this closely-knit community of less than two hundred people marked the fiftieth anniversary of their modestly-sized rustic stone schoolhouse - which was actually closed for twelve years, until there were enough kids to warrant reopening Kindergarten and preparatory classes there in 1983 - the central location of this wonderfully touching documentary by director Nicolas Philibert. If that was your answer to my pop quiz, congratulations. You're as smart as the Internet is.

Immediately inviting the audience into the much slower pace of rural life, this surprisingly heartwarming gem immerses us into the daily routine of schoolchildren ranging in age from four to eleven. Reminding us what it was like to just be a kid. Where wearing paint was the norm. Where suddenly realizing you'd absent-mindedly stuffed a magic marker up one nostril was nothing out of the ordinary. And, where simply getting a 'yes' from anyone you asked if they're your friend was all you needed. We see these tykes learning how to draw letters of the alphabet, under the patient tutoring of Georges Lopez (as himself). Monsieur Lopez holds up one drawing and asks his pupils if the crayon-scrawled word is right or not. The class replies that it's not very good. "It's lots of good!" emphatically replies Marie, the little girl that wobbly scribble belongs to. And so it goes, as they eagerly struggle with their first steps into the wider world of learning. The little ones' playtimes momentarily interrupted by the discovery of how to write and read. The bigger students building their skills in language and mathematics and preparing for Middle School, while still expected to fulfill their barnyard chores as dictated by the Sun and the seasons.

'Être et avoir' (referring to the two auxiliary verbs of the French language, translated as 'To Be and To Have'), is an astoundingly captivating slice of life that honestly and beautifully captures the innocence of youth, and clearly illustrates the importance of personal involvement from their first mentors. As we learn, Georges is retiring after twenty years, making his last days before the Summer holidays even more touching. As I learned, from researching this picture's back-story, he was the teacher who reopened the school back in 1983. It's no wonder this man's passion for bringing knowledge to this small quiet corner of France resonates so clearly during his candid interview. This one's definitely well worth hunting around for, as a personal trip down memory lane or as welcome family fayre. It's lots of good.

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Talk to Her
REVIEWED 05/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Refreshing sleeper an utter delight. Just before steely-eyed female matador Lydia González (Rosario Flores) builds up enough nerve to talk candidly with her middle-aged travel writer boyfriend Marco Zuluaga (Darío Grandinetti), she's brutally gored during a bullfight and left comatose in a Madrid hospital. It's there where he befriends Benigno Martín (Javier Cámara), an odd little man who ceaselessly dotes over a lovely young ballet dancer named Alicia (Leonor Watling) who barely knew him before a car accident also left her in a coma. However, none of that makes any difference to smitten Martín, who has found his life's purpose by her bedside. Not silently sulking at a candlelit shrine like a now emotionally distant Marco does, but by talking to her as though she is conscious. By telling Alicia about his mundane life outside her sanitized room. Massaging and bathing her lifeless body, as though it makes a difference to her. In his mind, what they have is perfect. Meanwhile, Marco can't get past his grief over Lydia, yet finds himself entranced by his new friend's rather one-sided relationship. That is, until Benigno openly contemplates marriage.

Well, this is definitely a completely original, dryly low key and decidedly weird subtitled drama. You're given these two men facing virtually the same gut-wrenching experience, who take their own paths in dealing with an emotionally devastating circumstance. Namely, the woman they each love is trapped in limbo, and neither man is willing to move on. For different reasons. Writer/director Pedro Almodóvar does a wonderful job of capturing all of these shattered lives, keeping the audience involved without allowing this extremely well-crafted film to become too bogged down by morose indulgence. The best aspect of it is that the lines between masculine and feminine roles are cleverly blurred, presenting a non-stereotypical woman in a male-dominated role and vice versa, without making it a big issue as the surprisingly realistic story unfolds at its own measured pace. They're completely well rounded characters that are immediately interesting and personable. You care about them, and what happens to them throughout the slightly meandering course of this smart and quirky movie. Sure, 'Hable con ella' ('Talk to Her') won't be everyone's cup of tea. It's not 'Weekend at Bernie's' or even 'While You Were Sleeping'. However, I found this one to be delightfully fresh and undeniably entertaining. Good stuff.

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Terminator 3
REVIEWED 07/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Armed with powerful plasma weaponry, the ability to hack into phone and distant mainframe networks, as well as remotely control other machines using robust nanotechnology, a T-X series Terminator (Kristanna Loken) time travels from our impending scorched Earth near future into the ritzy store fronted streets of California's Beverly Hills in the guise of a stunning blonde 'bombshell'. Her mission is like that of her predecessors: single mindedly locate and mercilessly terminate John Connor (Nick Stahl) - the man destined to become the fearless leader of the militia-like human resistance, after the rise of the machines has wiped out most of the world's population. However, there's a catch. Since birth, John's mother has prepared him for this. Keeping him off the grid, away from the Internet, without a bank account or social insurance. On the fringes of our technologically entrenched civilization, in order to protect him from being an easy target yet again. See, this happened ten years ago when John was little more than a hell-raising teenager. So, this highly advanced assassin simply begins tracking down and killing Connor's former high school classmates and soon-to-be warrior lieutenants - giving a reprogrammed duplicate version of the first comparably archaic T-800 series Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) time to step back into our pre-apocalyptic era and fulfill his mission to protect this ragged heir apparent at all costs. Meanwhile, a mysterious computer virus has gripped all civilian telecommunications and essential services, causing a worldwide breakdown as it starts to weed its way into NORAD, forcing the US military to unleash their prototype bug-busting artificial intelligence software called 'SkyNet' into the system to swiftly clean things up. Unfortunately, it's too late before the brass discover the true source of this virulent cyber attack, and the countdown begins for the end of humanity.

Well, it's been a long time since I was one of a handful of movie goers in Toronto who actually paid to sit through a fairly low budget and much-ignored sci-fi horror B grade flick called 'The Terminator' back in 1984. I thought it was gruesome and silly, and that the gigantic mush mouthed star should've stuck with winning Mister Universe trophies, but I liked the surprise twist at the end. However, the franchise has grown exponentially over the past seventeen years to give us this astoundingly pedantic demolition derby of pyrotechnic mayhem tarted up with some nifty CGI effects. This arguably overly anticipated and much-hyped sequel to 'Terminator 2' (1991) is little more than a retelling of the same, far more eye-popping and inventive story we got from 'T2'. Apart from the killer robotic sex change, the only real differences here are the self-parody scenes and that there's obviously been more money poured in. Too bad none of that pile of cash apparently went to the scriptwriters, who had an incredible opportunity to redefine 'SkyNet' as the true nemesis and puppet master of these murder machines from its infancy to Goliath - and flesh out Stahl's David-like character so that he's at least partially believable on-screen - but instead cobbled together this lazily explosive showcase for Schwarzenegger's rather plot unimportant yet ticket-selling return. He's proved my first impressions this time out. And, I'd read somewhere that abysmally deadpan Loken took Mime lessons in preparing for her part. It shows. She's worse than Arnold. In fact, there's nothing in this glorified slam fest of a turkey that's worth paying to go see that you haven't probably already seen before. Well, except that this one has the dumbest anti-climactic non-ending so far. So, unless you're a fanatic for all things 'Terminator' and have bought into franchise loyalty to the point where your life won't be complete otherwise, or you just can't get enough of seeing Ah-nold mutilate himself with sharp objects, I'd definitely suggest not bothering to waste your time with this loudly lumbering piece of scrap.

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Tomb Raider 2
REVIEWED 08/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Deep beneath the crystal blue currents of the Mediterranean Sea, a mystic golden treasure leading to an unparalleled evil long-thought to be the stuff of Greek myth has been found within the Centuries-lost Lunar Temple of Alexander the Great. However, before it's intrepid discoverer and renowned maverick archaeologist Lady Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) can enjoy the spoils of her illustrious yet puzzling find, harpoon-wielding Asian thugs raid the ancient underwater ruins and steal away her prize to sell to Nobel-winning scientist turned biotech weapons dealer Jonathan Reiss (Ciarán Hinds). See, like our highly intelligent statuesque heroine, maliciously sociopathic Reiss knows that precious ball of studded amber is the key to finding a legendary gift from the Gods known as Pandora's Box that, if opened, will release an horrific toll on all who look upon its contents and unleash unstoppable plagues and destruction upon an unsuspecting world. However, Lara wants the orb back for far less altruistic reasons than to save Humanity. She's the Tomb Raider after-all, and wants the glory of unearthing the box for herself. So, after convincing MI6 to clear a conditional release of her old flame and roguish mercenary Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler) from the snow swept rusted bowels of a secluded, high security gulag, the adventure begins on a treacherously narrowing mountain trail into the heavily guarded territories of China's ruthless Shay Ling cartel for that globe-like map destined for deciphering at the nasty good doctor's secret Shang-Hai lab. As it turns out, Croft and Sheridan soon learn their journey will lead them to the base of Mount Kilimangaro and into the shadowy realm of ghoulish warriors that guard what must never be found...

Well, it's fairly easy to tell that this high tech globetrotting flick was based on a computer game. Just as with 'Tomb Raider' (2001), this sequel is basically a series of antagonistic, heavily choreographed fistfights and shoot-outs thrown against a travelogue of exotic backgrounds-as-levels, where you get to sit back and let the characters do all of the work for you. Sure, Jolie is captivating in her own wry and busty way, flashing a full-lipped grin and some cavernous cleavage at the audience every now and then, but her role really could have been portrayed by anyone. Jamie Lee Curtis. Halle Berry. Cathy Bates. It doesn't matter, because the script is essentially plot-driven, with little to no real concern for the people running headlong through its somewhat amateurishly cobbled together maze towards yet another of what Hitchcock used to call a macguffin. An irrelevant prop that, in this case, is eventually shown with an anti-climactic lack of imagination. Then, you have Croft's returning duo of supporting players (Chris Barrie as her sparring foppish butler Hillary, and Noah Taylor as the geeky computer whiz Bryce), who are completely thrown away as little more than unimportant baggage chewing out fairly unfunny comedic lines. To be fair, this picture does make an attempt to pad all of the rather gimmicky violence with a slender thread of doomed romance between Lara and Terry, but it lends nothing remotely interesting to these cardboard cutouts and goes no-where fast. Frankly speaking, it seemed as though the only reason this violent turkey was made had more to do with fulfilling a production contract while pulling an easy paycheque slumming it in front of a camera crew, snorkeling, horseback riding, biking or paragliding on one of three continents, 'til everyone had to go back to their day jobs as actors. Rent it for the fantastic 'flying suits' scene (apparently shot without any movie trickery) if you're really into the next extreme sport fad. Otherwise, save your cash for the game upgrade likely due out for Christmas. Yawn.

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Thirteen
REVIEWED 09/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

When somewhat sheltered thirteen year-old Tracy (Evan Rachel Wood) discovers that her recovering alcoholic and home-based hairstylist mother's equally broken boyfriend Brady (Jeremy Sisto) has moved back in with them after spending another stint at a halfway house, this emotionally sensitive young blonde's return to L.A.'s Portola Middle School takes a B-line for the wild side. She's sick of being the girly-girl like she was before Summer Break and who's now taunted about her clothes by classmates. So, she soon befriends the most popular girl in the schoolyard: Evie Zamora (Nikki Reed). Evie also comes from a shattered home, ending up living with her often spaced-out actress adult cousin and spends her time shopping - and shoplifting - with friends, hanging out - and putting out - with the cute boys 'til way past midnight, and making good money selling nickel bags of cocaine on the streets. Tracy quickly embraces the sleazy excitement of Evie's world with all the self-destructive enthusiasm her obsessive angst can muster, completely transforming herself into a bitchy brat that her mom (Holly Hunter, as Melanie) can no-longer control or put up with. At the same time, Evie realizes the sweet life that Tracy seems blind to, and starts reshaping herself to fit in with this simple family that she hopes will adopt her. However, when calculating liar's plans fall apart, things really begin to go sour for Tracy.

Wow. What a wonderfully tough film this is. Apparently based on Reed's life (she co-wrote the screenplay with Director Catherine Hardwicke), this documentary-style movie leaves nothing to the imagination as it presents an incredibly captivating and sometimes difficult to sit through glimpse into the lives of these scarred and jaded teenagers and their grown up role models. It's raw. Powerful. Unflinching. And, does ring true for the most part. Full credits go to the main cast, who obviously all believed in the importance of this truly insightful Independent-looking small picture. Sure, it does tend to waiver at times or get dragged down by its bouts of primal screaming matches, but that's the troubled lives these characters live. Go to the mall, and you'll probably see the same things. That's where this flick's honesty grabs you by the throat, and forces you to acknowledge that what happens on the screen is what's happening right now , out there, in the real world. It does what any worthwhile contemporary works of Fine Art try to do, by getting you to react and think about what's being filtered through the canvas or clay for you to consider. This offering is just as passionate and gritty and surprising as any painting or sculpture that's startled and stayed with you long after you've spent some time with it. 'Thirteen' definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it's easily one of the best true to life dramas of its kind that I've seen in ages. Haunting.

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The Triplets of Belleville
REVIEWED 12/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Long-time fanatical cyclist and 1950's Tour de France local challenger Champion has been summarily kidnapped along with two of his wheezing fellow racers 150 miles outside of Marseilles, and shipped across the swirling Atlantic by two dangerously mysterious men in black. So, it's up to his spirited tiny old Grandmother and their bumbling overweight dog Bruno to come to the rescue. Little do they know, as these unlikely heroes give chase by paddleboat through the choppy grey ocean, that their huge-legged lost orphan has been snatched by the Mob and will soon become part of a devilish underground betting scheme masterminded in the bowels of thriving Manhattan-like Belleville's French Wine Centre. Of course, Grandma and Bruno quickly come to a dead halt in this big noisy alien city, and it's merely by chance that they quickly befriend three eccentric sisters who will gleefully help in her quest. The Triplets of Belleville were all the rage in the Roaring Twenties, but have sunk to obscurity and a life on the fringes of that boisterous metropolis, meagerly existing on various suspiciously disgusting meals made with frogs from a nearby swamp and performing a bizarre percussion act using household appliances at a seedy Downtown nightclub. It's there that Bruno picks up Champion's scent, and all hell breaks loose as our ragtag rescuers breach a hornet's nest of ruthless Gangsters that explodes into the winding moonlit streets in one of the most outlandish bullet-riddled adventures of a lifetime.

Following his Paris/Montreal collaborative 1998 twenty-five minute Oscar-nominated animated short 'La vieille dame et les pigeons', 'Les triplettes de belleville' is France-based writer/director Sylvain Chomet's first full-length offering and apparently uses a lot of the same strange themes this time around. Macabre distorted caricatures, such as the morbidly obese denizens of Belleville, and hilariously bizarre situations easily top the list. My favourites being Grandma using Bruno as a spare tire, and one of the triplets using World War One-style grenades to fish for dinner. Running at around an hour and twenty minutes, this is definitely one animated joyride where you'll come out wondering just what the heck happened. It's enormously entertaining, and hilariously clever throughout, but so incredibly unusual that it takes quite a lot of discipline not to immediately do a one-eighty in the theatre lobby and sit through the show again. Just to let your brain warp enough to get its bearings. That's the sheer genius of Chomet's almost dialogue-free offering, because this one's actually a fairly straightforward story, but is relentlessly chock full of wonderfully surreal and often unfamiliar irreverence that it's nearly impossible to describe without giving everything away. Sure, a lot of the laughs come from the usual character stereotyping seen throughout the history of European cartoons, yet it's closest reference point could be considered at least partly that of Disney's raucous '101 Dalmatians' (1961), but heavily nudged to the edge of sanity on a runaway train packed with questionable substances. You really do have to see it to believe it, and I'd be very surprised if 'Les triplettes de belleville' doesn't become the new benchmark for both French and Canadian animation for some time to come. Unfortunately, this flick hasn't been given much of a wide release beyond Art Film screens so it's unlikely you'll see it at a big box chain near you, but I'd highly encourage you to hunt it down on video as one rental that you'll probably want to own - particularly if you're a fan of Max Fleischer, Tex Avery, or the early (and actually) funny stuff from Warner Brothers and Walt himself. Mind-bendingly awesome.

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Torque
REVIEWED 01/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Cary Ford (Martin Henderson) has come home to make things right. On the lam in Thailand for the past six months, he first blazes a trail - clad in his orange and black 'Carpe Diem' emblazoned gear - along the snaking California desert Interstate on a suped-up black and red speed-punching street bike, in search of his ex-girlfriend Shane (Monet Mazur) at a raucous Santa Clarita motorcycle rally. Shane's chop shop garage is the key to Ford's redemptive scheme, since that's where everything went to hell because of him. He needs her help. See, Cary's wanted by FBI special agents McPherson (Adam Scott) and Henderson (Justina Machado), for disappearing with thousands of dollars worth of crystal meth moments before a meticulously planned raid closed in. He's also wanted by Henry (Matt Schulze) - leader of the Hellions biker gang - who owns that illicit haul and the two chrome choppers containing it that Ford stole away with that fateful day. On top of that, Cary and road buddies Dalton (Jay Hernandez) and Val (Will Yun Lee) find themselves deep in the territory of another intimidating gang: The Reapers, led by Trey Wallace (Ice Cube). Trey already doesn't like Ford, but when an attempt by the Hellions to supply drugs in the area falls through, and the violent death of Wallace's brother is pinned on our scruffy anti-hero, Ford finds himself racing against time for his life as everybody comes after him at terminal velocity...

This live-action cartoon from music video director Joseph Kahn actually chugs along at a fairly decent pace throughout. Sure, a lot of it is wildly contrived and desperately attempts to give you the same type of relentless roller coaster-style action-packed adventure seen in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' (1981), where one narrow escape is quickly followed by another and another - with some glib dialogue and stuff resembling a plot annoyingly interrupting things every now and then, but this compact eighty-one minute mature audience-oriented popcorn flick is basically fun low maintenance entertainment for the most part. Yes, the story and humour are campy and predominantly weak. Yes, this does feel a lot like a two-wheeled close cousin of such high octane silliness as '2 Fast 2 Furious' (2003), but with a tighter script that doesn't waste a lot of time. And yeah, the computer game character-like acting isn't all that pretty to sit through at times, but it helps that former New Zealand Soap star Henderson has the kind of screen presence reminiscent of a young Kurt Russell. However, it's obvious that 'Torque' was never intended to be a contender alongside any of this or any year's Academy Award hopefuls or winners. It's not that kind of picture. When the main chase scene involves impossibly trading gunfire from speeding motorcycles that are both impossibly on top of a fast-moving passenger train, and one of them impossibly manages to nearly escape by falling between the cars and biking through a narrow aisle of seats and screaming people without breaking anything or anyone, it's clear this is the type of offering meant to be an enjoyably ridiculous diversion for your eyes. Not your brains. On the level of 'Smokey and the Bandit' (1977), it works, but with far less captivating players here. The stunts are incredible, though. And, they're really what make this one worth renting. Check it out for the wealth of great motorcycle tricks, but don't expect too much otherwise.

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Twisted
REVIEWED 03/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Recently promoted homicide detective Jessica Shepherd (Ashley Judd) quietly studies the crime scene photos taken from a plain wooden box kept in her small San Francisco apartment. Her father was a good cop, but something in him must have snapped twenty-five years ago, when he suddenly went on a killing spree that ended with the murder/suicide of Jessica's parents by his own hands. That's what's on file in the faded police reports. That's what she's had to grow up believing all of those years, punctuated by this stark black and white picture of her Dad's limp corpse surrounded by marked evidence. Working twice as hard to make her way up the precinct ranks under the protective tutoring of her father's old partner, Commissioner John Mills (Samuel L. Jackson), burying the fear that the same unexplainable madness might be lurking within her. Now, just as Jessica is starting to get on top of her life, her sexually predatory privacy and that family shame is put under close scrutiny when the men she's been with off-hours begin turning up dead. That guy she'd had wild sex with under a moonlit park tree a few months ago. The other one she'd picked up in a smoky bar for a one-nighter back at his place. Both found washed ashore, their faces bashed to a bloody pulp. As if the same police issue martial arts Yawara stick that Shepherd practices with had been used to mercilessly beat them to death. Veteran Detective Mike Delmarco (Andy Garcia) wants to believe his bright yet darkly secretive partner is innocent, but he notices how much Jessica drinks and that these deaths seem to happen the nights before she's late for work. Hearing how groggy Shepherd is, when he calls to wake her up. The killer has left no latent clues on the victims, except for a cigarette burn cruelly mashed into their hand, but forensics finds a tiny dot of blood on this last body that might be an important lead. One that will either remove Jessica from the top of her own list of suspects, or prove her terrible suspicions that what happened to her Dad is happening to her...

This flick does have some of the elements to make it a good crime thriller, but it just doesn't click together. While it's a little tough to suspend your disbelief that Shepherd wouldn't automatically be officially taken off the case after she's linked to the first dead guy, as well as tough to swallow that virtually every man she comes into contact with wants to boink her at the dumbest times, what hurts this picture most is that director Philip Kaufman fails to maintain the level of suspense all the way through. This movie feels cobbled together. Wasting time attending to silly details, such as the old oriental woman peeping through her window next door or the weird convict Judd's character tosses in jail but continues visiting, while not really putting much effort into a concise investigation mirroring anything anyone familiar with detective stories would rightfully expect. Turning this shambles of a plot into little more than a star vehicle for Judd and the ever puppy-eyed Garcia. Problem is, neither of them are capable of lifting writer Sarah Thorp's fairly sloppy screenplay to a level where the cop stuff becomes unimportant to a paying audience's enjoyment of what's going on. If a movie invites a viewer to deduce along with its sleuths, basic logic should prevail. Shouldn't it? Example: Shepherd's obsessive ex-boyfriend shows up at her apartment unannounced, they talk then argue and fight, until she breaks his nose and he leaves spitting blood and expletive insults. A little later, he returns and she acts as though nothing has happened. When any female cop with half a brain would have likely slapped him in cuffs or beaten him up some more. There are a few scenes like this here, where you're left sitting in the dark wondering what planet these dopes come from. Sure, Jackson's performance is pretty good if not completely predictable at times. But, it's as though 'Twisted' was basically a bad choice paycheque to all concerned, while this cast waits around for a good script to land in their laps. And, that's too bad. It's not a complete turkey, but I can't really recommend you bother checking it out.

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Taking Lives
REVIEWED 04/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

As FBI Special Agent Illeana Scott (Angelina Jolie) steps into a stark shroud of fluorescent lighting that bleaches the small interrogation room of Quebec City's Surc du Police, she's already keenly aware of everything that James McKeen Costa (Ethan Hawke) is doing. Her uncanny specialty is profiling. Every minute gesture, every expression and glance and blink of this visibly shaken murder witness is systematically recorded and evaluated by her adept and highly-trained mind. A brutally mutilated corpse lays in the morgue floors below, mere hours after being unintentionally dug up by a local construction crew. And, as forensics attempts to reconstruct that decomposing strangulation victim's eyeless smashed-in skull, Scott has already begun the meticulously gruesome job that old friend Chief Investigator Paquette (Olivier Martinez) has requested her help with - much to the mild surprise of Inspector Duval (Jean-Hugues Anglade) and the conspicuous chagrin of Inspector Leclair (Tchéky Karyo), the two officers already assigned to this baffling case. She lives with the crime scene photos, absorbing every detail, obsessively slipping into this elusive killer's mind. Costa, a gangly Vancouver-born art dealer willing to sketch the face of the bearded man he saw that bone-chilling night, is key to this investigation. One that quickly reveals itself to be much bigger than first realized, tracing back through a string of horrifying serial killings across Canada since 1983, where a shadowy chameleon-like psychopath named Martin Asher has assumed the identity of each new life he's maliciously snuffed out. Illeana senses she's close to solving this riddle, pinning these grizzly crimes on a smalltime drug dealer (Kiefer Sutherland as Hart), but is shaken to discover that her judgment might have become seriously compromised by intensely growing feelings for this charismatic prime witness. She's right...

This absolutely intriguing thriller loosely based on former newspaper reporter and best-selling novelist Michael Pye's three hundred and four-paged 1999 potboiler was definitely a wonderful surprise. Sure, there are mild story similarities to 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' (1999), but what you're presented with here is a purely delightful labyrinthine mystery that completely slams you from left field with an outstanding plot twist halfway through. One that couldn't possibly have worked without this particular cast of marvelous actors, quite frankly. Jolie is incredibly good here, armed with screenwriter Jon Bokenkamp's deliciously smart and sexy script, aptly carrying the weight of this dark and fairly creepy flick. I can't recall the last time I've seen such a strong leading female role where both her striking professionalism and jaw-dropping sensuality have been presented so impressively uncompromised throughout. Yeah guys, there's nudity. It's also great to sit through a big screen investigation that actually bothers to have its cops, well, take the investigation seriously for a change. Sure, this picture does make the most of typecasting, and of suspending a paying audience's disbelief by expecting you to accept that this serial killer could repeatedly and seamlessly slough off and take on the persona of each subsequent victim over the course of twenty years, without any of their relatives or friends or employers noticing. But, hey. They're minor sore spots - as is the rather hokey scene of Quebec's finest swooping down in choppers to close in on their escaping prey - but, those minor pitfalls definitely don't detract from the over-all enormously satisfying whodunit that director D.J. Caruso systematically unleashes in front of your riveted eyeballs. Sharp, believable dialogue and cleverly paced cinematography reinforce these players' wonderfully captivating efforts, with full marks well earned by Hawke and Karyo for their individually thunderous presence. Awesome. If you're up for a delightfully intelligent crime drama that doesn't waste time trying to completely gross you out, check out this amazing offering that actually turns out to be two movies tightly packed under one title. Good stuff.

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Touching the Void
REVIEWED 04/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Fear. Agony. Isolation. Mountain climbers Joe Simpson (Brendan Mackey) and Simon Yates (Nicholas Aaron) had set out in 1985 to test their skill by navigating from their glacier lake Andes base camp to the wintry peak of Siula Grande's twenty-one thousand foot high mass in one go - Alpine-style, each armed with hand picks and a couple of one hundred and fifty foot ropes - with little else but what few days' worth of supplies they could carry on their backs. Still in their early Twenties, these blokes were hungry for adventure and the adrenaline rush of conquering this awesome challenge. After making it through fields of rock and ice, clawing up that untried fortress-like snow-covered cliff one crumbling hand hold at a time, and weathering bone-chilling gale force winds under a chalky full moon, these two exhausted yet exhilarated friends managed to reach the summit in three impressive days. They would soon be back celebrating with novice Richard in the warmth of proper shelter based near the water's edge, where they had left him to keep the home fires burning. However, when Yates arrived numb and stumbling to safety, severely frostbitten and dehydrated, it was obvious something had gone horribly wrong. Simpson wasn't with him. The pick had made a strange sound while Joe was lowering himself down the North ridge. He'd lost his grip and had fallen. Smashing his leg, rendering it virtually useless for the remaining descent. They both knew what this meant, having no means of calling for rescue as night quickly approached. They were alone. It was Simon who cobbled the ropes together and began trying to lower Joe, fighting the danger of being pulled off while quickly working against time and his partner's agonizing howls of pain. And then, disaster struck again. Simpson had slid off the steep edge of a slope, and was dangling precariously over a gaping crevice eighty feet below him. There was no going back. No escape. They would both die there in that frigid terror, tenuously connected together by that nine millimetre thick umbilical, if Simon hadn't done what he ended up doing...

Wow. Oscar-winning feature director Kevin Macdonald's appropriately chilling reenactment of the events documented in Joe Simpson's 1988 non-fiction book entitled, 'Touching the Void: The True Story of One Man's Miraculous Survival' must have been an incredible undertaking. It shows. Playing out much like a documentary, overdubbed by these two actual survivors with astoundingly captivating and often blunt commentary, you can't help but become immediately drawn in to the terrifying series of events that happen throughout this riveting story of difficult choices and raw human spirit. "This wasn't part of the game plan," Simpson explains, as he recalls his fate, his boiling well of emotions and the sheer physical hopelessness he'd faced on that treacherous mountain. See, each man truly believed the other was dead. That Joe had been killed after plummeting into that enormous crevice eighty feet below him, Simon thought. That Simon had finally lost his footing while trying to hold the knotted end of the second rope, and had fallen over the slope to his death, Joe thought. What would you do? This was a hopelessly desperate predicament, where either mountaineer had to eventually shift his focus from his comrade to doing everything possible towards getting out of there alive. Apparently, there was mounting speculation by the climbing community upon their return to the UK that Simon was wrong in leaving Joe. That, and a few other things easily judged as being somewhat questionable in hindsight are covered in this hour and forty-six minute pulse-pounder originally released in 2003, but the audience is also informed that Simpson has systematically refuted any guilt or blame towards his climbing partner. What's obvious is that this incredible story needed to be told, and full marks go to everyone involved with this absolutely worthwhile picture for bringing that novel to the big screen. Whether you're a fanatical cliff-climber or just enjoy a great true-life story incredibly well told from beginning to final credits, definitely check this one out if you get the chance. Awesome.

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Troy
REVIEWED 05/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Very loosely based on supposedly blind and illiterate Greco-Ionian poet Homer's famous twenty-four chapter tale written in 800 BC, 'The Iliad', director Wolfgang Petersen's hugely dramatic two hour and forty-three minute epic plays out the last days of the ten-year circa 12th Century BC Trojan War much like a vague sequel to the Oscar-winning movie 'Gladiator' (2000) than anything else. David Benioff's unevenly paced and dramatically contrived screenplay pretty well replaces hordes of meddling Homeric gods with heaps of creative license, and gives us the half-deity Achilles (Brad Pitt - who reportedly injured his achilles tendon for real during filming) as an intimidating moody and womanizing, glory-seeking warrior thundering across the screen in the eventual pursuit of first avenging his battle-hungry young cousin - killed by the capable sword of Trojan Prince Hector (Eric Bana) - and then of reuniting with Briseis (Rose Byrne), the head-strong priestess cousin of regal brothers Hector and notoriously philandering Paris (Orlando Bloom).

'Troy' is an absolutely entertaining actioner, packed with some immensely satisfying visuals and astounding fight scenes throughout, but there are a couple of moments where motivations are slightly illusive beyond the tremendous performances over-all. As though important scenes were dropped in favour of the digital effects. Sure, this is undoubtedly a solid cast, capped by the truly wonderful last role filled by the late Peter O'Toole, but because the likes of Bana and Brian Cox (as cantankerously arrogant King Agamemnon) are each given such a powerful presence here, it's sometimes tough for a paying audience to sit through reams of over the top production value and remember Achilles is above this ensemble troupe of larger than life characters for more than just his ripped pecs and bared bum. Definitely check it out in theatres for the great acting and Roger Pratt's awesome cinematography, despite the script feeling slightly trite at times.

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Two Brothers
REVIEWED 06/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Guy Pierce stars as rugged game and treasure hunting novelist Aiden McRory in this obvious Kipling-inspired family flick that follows the year in the life tale of two Bengal tigers, brown-eyed Kumal and blue-eyed Sengha. What internationally acclaimed French director Jean-Jacques Annaud masterfully provides here is a truly captivating story that easily rivals his acclaimed breakthrough wildlife adventure, 'The Bear' (1989), by acknowledging that his intended audience of parents and kids are intelligent enough to tap into most of this lush jungle saga's cleverly subtle visual vocabulary without needing every plot-important nuance explained through dialogue or narrative. Much like his similarly fascinating 'Quest for Fire' (1981) and 'The Name of the Rose' (1986), Annaud's virtually trademark manner of tackling offbeat subjects in creative, almost revolutionary ways shines through here as well. Sure, 'Two Brothers' isn't the most complicated telling around, but it's the exquisitely simple things - such as a sticky leaf used to easily distinguish one kitten from the other - that manage to draw you in to their individual personalities before quickly discovering their different, eventually reconverging paths. A rare feat of genius that must have taken ages to capture scene by scene, considering these big cats - wonderfully coached by trainer Thierry Le Portier - comprise the majority of what transpires onscreen, without becoming overtly anthropomorphised or the least bit cartoony.

How Annaud presents the actual character development of these magnificent felines is absolutely incredible to witness, frankly. Of course, Pierce and his main human co-stars Jean-Claude Dreyfus as Administrator Normandin, Vincent Scarito as the Zerbino Circus owner, and Bernard Flavien as His Excellency's Majordomo pull in fairly steady, low-key performances throughout that adeptly serve to flesh out this impressive hundred and five-minute feature with a couple of interesting asides. However, it's really Kumal and Sengha, and the beautifully stylized efforts of Portier's crew and cinematographer Jean-Marie Dreujou, that make this movie such a delightful treat from beginning to closing credits. Yes, this flick is violent in parts. It might not be entirely suitable for little children because of those fairly realistic scenes, as well as because of the timely cruelty these animals now steadily facing extinction do face onscreen, but this hugely satisfying effort is rated PG. So it's unlikely too many toddlers will be able to buy tickets without adult supervision. If you're in any way a fan of bygone-style animal stories packed with loads of heart and refreshing substance, do yourself a huge favour and check out 'Two Brothers' on the big screen. Awesome.

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The Terminal
REVIEWED 06/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Director Steven Spielberg's charming 'year in the life' light comedy spiked with eccentric characters and a little romance follows what happens to good natured Krakhovian tourist Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks), when a sudden January coupe overthrows this Eastern European's tiny homeland government during his flight to New York, making Viktor's passport and travel visa useless and forcing US Customs Border Security Director Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci) to detain him in JFK Airport's International Transit Lounge until peaceful deportation or refugee status can be expedited. Acknowledged as being loosely based on real life Iranian-born eccentric Merhan Karimi Nasseri, whose apparent self-made exile in France's Charles de Gaulle International Airport since 1988 has already inspired several news articles and a ninety-minute 2001 UK mock documentary, co-writers Sacha Gervasi's and Jeff Nathanson's script wonderfully fleshes out Navorski's story by giving him enough smarts to quickly teach himself English and cleverly find ways to feed himself, while fashioning a bare daily existence within that bustling lounge and a section of the terminal still under renovations.

It's obvious Hanks relished in this completely three dimensional starring role, and pulls in a truly captivating and sometimes brilliant performance working in fairly constrained confines while flexing all sorts of acting muscles that span soft slapstick to high drama throughout. Co-star Catherine Zeta-Jones as flight attendant Amelia Jane Warren, Navorski's heart weary love interest, also does an impressively low-key job. You're given intelligent reasons to care about them. However, what really makes this two-hour picture work beyond Hanks' one man show are the supporting players, hilariously led by Kumar Pallana (as airport City Shine janitor Gupta Rajan) and Diego Luna (as love-driven Aero Gourmet worker Enrique). Their individual satellite stories beautifully complete this tale that, in less capable hands, could have easily become a rather boring match of egos between personably head strong Navorski and dutiful career-minded Dixon. The Spielberg touch is everywhere here, though. From the playful goofy moments and slowly revealed secrets, to the marvelous visuals using reflective surfaces and props, this lush offering is a delightfully entertaining story of resilience and hope tightly presented for a mature audience tired of familiar feel good movies. Yes, there is a happy ending, but it's not the one you're led to expect. Making 'The Terminal' a far superior delight and a definite must-see on the big screen. Check it out for some marvelously full performances from Hanks and this ensemble cast, but be prepared for a lot more. Awesome.

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Thunderbirds
REVIEWED 08/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Heavily based on writer/producer Gerry Anderson's enormously popular groundbreaking thirty-two episode 1964-66 British children's television series that was famous for its 'Supermarionation' string puppet characters and explosive cliffhanger stories; hiring on the show's director David Lane for its two feature-length movies 'Thunderbirds Are GO' (1966) and 'Thunderbird Six' (1968), and inspiring the short-lived anime 'Thunderbirds 2086' (1982) in Japan, Brady Corbet stars in this live actioner as Wharton Academy's fifteen year-old Alan - the youngest son of famed ex-astronaut and US billionaire Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton) - who conspicuously pines for the chance to join his family's heroic international rescue missions and pilot one of their fantastic machines based on Jeff's secret South Pacific island. Unfortunately, he and his adolescent friends Fermat Hackenbacker (Soren Fulton) and Tintin (Vanessa Anne Hudgens) get their chance, when criminal mastermind Trang 'The Hood' Belegant (Ben Kingsley) traps the Tracy team in their orbiting space station in a devilish plot to frame them for a series of daylight bank heists that Belegant and his goons begin in London, and Alan must save his Dad and siblings while trying to stop The Hood's malevolent revenge.

Wow. This hugely impressive, $70 million true adaptation is definitely an astounding achievement from director Jonathan Frakes and screenwriters William Osborne (who co-wrote the final story with Peter Hewitt) and Michael McCullers. Paxton and crew do a marvelous job capturing the spirit of their personably larger than life characters, making this much more than rocket-fuelled eye candy for pre-teens. Sure, diehard fans of the classic UK show will undoubtedly notice changes such as the Tracy clan's younger ages, the date being set at 2020 instead of 2065, and secret agent Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward's (deliciously played by Sophia Myles) six-wheeled pink limo FAB 1 missing its familiar Rolls Royce grill. As one of the probable legions of adults whose memories include loving many of Anderson's small screen productions for ITV, including 'Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons' (1967), the live-action 'UFO' (1970-71) and the more widely known 'Space 1999' (1975-77), as well as driving parents bonkers by wanting the rocket-firing beetle-shaped green Thunderbird 2 toy with the retractable belly and the assorted miniature vehicles and the things and the stuff, I was initially skeptical about this movie avoiding becoming yet another disappointing campy remake of a favourite television program. I'd read that this picture had faced mounting odds while being bandied around over the past several years, before being rewritten and having Frakes take the helm. To my delight, all of my fears were resoundingly proved unwarranted, because 'Thunderbirds' truly is an incredibly spectacular Sci-fi adventure flick from beginning to closing credits. Admittedly, some of the scenes do tilt towards becoming goofy and cartoony, but they're brief and all done in good humour with much obvious love for the original.

Brilliant cast, eye-popping sets and CGI effects, and a thoroughly clever story make this cinematic homage to a legendary favourite a definite worthwhile must-see on the big screen.

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Touch of Pink
REVIEWED 08/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Jimi Mistry gives a wonderfully fresh performance throughout as Alim, a thirty-something Kenyan-born London-based movie still photographer whose fantasy-straddling life suddenly becomes neurotically complicated shortly after the one-year anniversary of his loving relationship with UNICEF economist Giles (Kristen Holden-Reid) when Alim's fairly estranged widowed Muslim mother Nura (Suleka Mathew) decides to visit from Toronto. She doesn't know her son is gay and, much to the chagrin of Giles and Giles' lovelorn sister Delia (Liisa Repo-Martell) - and Alim's childhood imaginary friend 'Kevin Krantz' (Kyle MacLachlan, portraying the quirky personification of screen legend Archibald 'Cary Grant' Leach (1904-1986)) - he's not really sure he wants Nura to know. As 'Kevin' points out, "She doesn't deserve the truth" for abandoning Alim to her sister Dolly (Veena Sood) and running off on what we learn was a starry-eyed whim to England over twenty-five years ago.

What writer/director Ian Iqbal Rashid - whose credits primarily include award-winning TV work in the UK - does here is provide a paying audience with a completely fluid and thoroughly entertaining 'coming out' comedy that's packed with wry wit and wonderful drama throughout. The title is apparently a take on that of the Golden Globe-winning musical comedy 'That Touch of Mink' (1962), curiously the only film Grant and famed screwball powerhouse Doris Day starred in together, and is an obviously perfect back story reference for Mistry's and Sood's characters as this astounding Canadian/British joint production unfolds. Sure, prosthetic chinned MacLachlan tends to steal the show as a kind of one-man Greek chorus and comedic sidekick, bouncing out hilariously ridiculous asides through his several costumed walk-ons, but 'Touch of Pink' is really Mistry's captivatingly astounding achievement here. You're given solid reasons to care about Alim as he's forced to come to terms with his painful past, his simmering self-loathing bordering on racism towards his mother, as well as him openly accepting who and what he is. Full marks, to him and Sood - whose excellent performance left me gob smacked more than once. Marvelous. Plus, this is absolutely one of the funniest flicks released in theatres so far this year. Rashid's smart dialogue and tight script beautifully catapult what could have easily become a load of lazily familiar Queer Television moments into an impressively-crafted hour and a half effort that truly does work as a worthwhile screening for a wider, open minded crowd of moviegoers. Yes, you will have to sit through a few tastefully presented aspects of the lifestyle, but this movie isn't really about anything other than these characters learning to grow up and accept what's right for them. And, some of the quips traded by Alim and his imaginary friend really are pricelessly funny.

Definitely check out this truly entertaining, heartfelt comedy for the superior story and acting from this amazing cast. Awesome.

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Taxi
REVIEWED 10/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Former kamikaze-style bicycle courier for Brooklyn-based Mercury Messenger turned proudly licensed Manhattan Yellow Cab driver Isabel 'Belle' Williams (Queen Latifah; 'Jungle Fever' (1991), 'Barbershop 2' (2004)) ends up finding herself unwillingly roped into helping hopelessly klutzy and recently demoted third-generation NYPD 8th Precinct Undercover Detective Andy Washburn (television's 'Saturday Night Live' alumnus Jimmy Fallon; 'Almost Famous' (2000), 'Anything Else' (2003)) solve a string of professional bank robberies that they soon realize are being pulled off by a quartet of heavily-armed Brazilian super models led by lithe speed demon Vanessa (Victoria Secrets and Christian Dior spokes model Gisele Carolina Nonnenmacher Bündchen). Perfect. See, Belle's dream of racing at Nascar has already spurred her into converting her otherwise unassuming cab into a 'Transformers'-like supercharged muscle car. So, despite stern warnings from Andy's ex-girlfriend and current supervisor, Lieutenant Marta Robbins (Jennifer Esposito; 'Summer of Sam' (1999), 'Breakin' All the Rules' (2004)), these two would-be crime fighters end up on a high octane, tire-screeching adventure through the city in this fairly unfunny Hollywood comedy retooling of French director Gérard Pirès' same-named 1998 homeland hit. Put all comparisons to the hilarious five-time Emmy-winning 'Taxi' TV series starring Judd Hirsch and Andy Kaufman (1949-1984) aside, folks.

Sure, this overwhelmingly disastrous mess does offer up a handful of measured laughs - primarily during the closing credits out takes reel - but director Tim Story ('Barbershop' (2002)) fails miserably to make use of Latifah's natural comedic timing throughout in favour of (curiously) switching your focus on to Fallon's aggravatingly amateurish hamming for the camera for the most part. Frankly, 'Taxi NYC' (its international title) probably would have had at least a fighting chance if the Washburn character had been dropped, or a more capable up and coming big screen comedian had been cast, and Robert Ben Garant's, Thomas Lennon's and Jim Kouf's obviously cobbled together screenplay had gone through a couple more rewrites during post-production here. Yes, the modified taxi is fun and impressive. So are a lot of the chase scenes of pure action as captured by cinematographer Vance Burberry and edited by Stuart Levy. And, it's great to see Genie-nominated Hollywood Walk of Fame screen legend Ann-Margret ('Tommy' (1975), 'Grumpy Old Men' (1993)) pull in a few irreverently funny moments again. However, they're not enough. This over-all turkey is so incredibly undercooked and irrevocably betrayed by Story's inability to present these characters as interesting or unique that the entire movie quickly collapses into becoming a messy shambles almost as soon as the plotline starts up. Leaving a paying audience grating their teeth in anticipation for the next adrenaline-pumping sequence of sass-mouthed road rage to briefly blast across the big screen. Tiring. What's the most surprising is that Luc Besson, the screenwriter for the award-winning French original that's already garnered two sequels, reportedly penned the first draft of this one.

Rent it for the luxury of fast forwarding through most of this stinker for the few entertaining moments if you're a huge fan of fast cars or heavily-armed Brazilian super models, but steer clear of 'Taxi' if you're looking for a remotely enjoyable ride.

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Team America
REVIEWED 10/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

A week after Carson - a valued member of the highly-skilled and heavily arsenalled five-person paramilitary force known as Team America - is cowardly gunned down during their conspicuous mission to thwart gibberish-talking turbaned terrorists armed with a briefcase-sized weapon of mass destruction in the heart of Paris, France, acclaimed New York City stage performer and two-time scholastic major in theatre and world languages Gary Johnston is privately approached by Scotch-swilling team leader Spottswoode (voiced by Daran Norris) backstage, brought by jet-powered stretched Lamborghini limousine to their not-so-secret base hollowed out of Mount Rushmore, and recruited to infiltrate a suspected gathering of worldwide militants in Cairo, Egypt in this ridiculously silly and outrageously vulgar satire from the creators of 'South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut' (1999) and featuring Supermarionation-like puppets as seen in Gerry Anderson's vintage 'Thunderbirds' (1964-66) Brit television series that reportedly inspired it. Joe (a sensitive gun-slinging All-American football champ from the University of Nebraska), Sara (trigger-happy empath from Berkeley), Chris (hot-tempered martial arts expert from Detroit) and Lisa (a bombshell psychologist and Carson's grief-stricken girlfriend) round out this silver jacket-wearing, flag-waving squad policing the globe, ensuring that Europeans, Middle Easterners, Asians and everyone else live in peace and security like all Americans should. However, Team America learns too late that there's a duplicitous evil mastermind supplying every would-be terrorist with those WMD's, and it's up to a hesitant Gary to not only use his acting skills to save the team, but defeat the violently anti-violent Film Actors Guild before Doomsday wipes out civilization.

Graphic escalation of all things boorish presented as humour definitely does seem to be the driving force behind this decidedly inflammatory parody of extremist stereotypes throughout. Whether or not 'Team America' is supposed to be taken as an unsubtly blunt lampooning of US foreign politics (both republican and democratic), its campy, Shock Comedy-style mockery of pretty well everything and everyone this movie spotlights does tend to become rather overtly juvenile and runs out of gas fairly quickly. This one's sure to be a hit with those who laugh uncontrollably at a string puppet jabbering in a nonsensical voice or relentlessly vomiting; will giggle out loud at a couple of puppets engaged in multi-positional sex acts or spewing reams of expletives virtually non-stop; or can easily crack a smile at several marionettes bashed to bloody pulps by various means throughout - and, if you like that, definitely go see it - but this picture feels desperately unentertaining during its almost two hour screen time for the most part. The fun novelty is quickly replaced by a lot of mean-spirited, unfunny or unoriginal gags cranked over the top in order to get a reaction. Dumb down and laugh or leave in disgust seems to be director Trey Parker's credo here, I guess. Sure, the majority of younger moviegoers that I attended this poor farce with apparently had a great time, and there are a few intermittently clever ideas, but even they're primarily borrowed moments recognizable from landmark UK skit comedy shows such as 'Spitting Image' (1984-1996), or the far more superior 'Monty Python's The Meaning of Life' (1983). As though Hollywood has finally caught up to that overseas material a generation or so later, merely repackaging it in this borrowed format featuring the puppeteering of Trey Stokes ('Batman Returns' (1992), 'Species' (1995)) and Peter Baird (1952-2004) for an unexposed homeland crowd. Yawn.

I suspect 'Team America' will unfortunately be a huge hit in the theatres simply because of its controversial and graphic nature - much like their previous movie was - more than for this offering's (non-existent) originality or (vague) comedic value, so I'd still be more inclined to suggest you rent the originals cited above for a sustainably funnier, more satisfying time than waste your money on this twisted, sophomoric turkey.

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The Take
REVIEWED 11/04, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Made virtually an economic ghost town from the ravages of globalization under the reportedly corrupt government of President Menem during the 1990's, Argentina is witnessing an entirely new business model rise from the rubble of previously abandoned factories across that country. Occupy, Resist, Produce is the rallying cry of the working class inspired to not only occupy their former places of employment under the legal permission of investigating for any sign of improper removal of equipment by bankruptcy agents, but unite with help from the supportive network of the National Movement of Recovered Companies to restart those work places as viably productive, self-managing communes. Without bosses, where everyone who works there is part of a democratic-style one vote system. Unemployed twelve-year veteran tool and die maker Freddie Espanosa is one such worker, rejoining his former colleagues at the defunct Forja auto parts plant in Buenos Aires to expropriate and legally revive that factory after being thrown out of work, in this information rich and somewhat interesting eighty-seven minute documentary from CBC television commentator and first time director Avi Lewis.

Both Lewis and writer Naomi Klein ('The Corporation' (2003)) impressively lead you through the fairly tumultuous political back-story that has left the majority of this country's population desperately poverty-stricken and impatient for revolutionary action. In that regard, wanting to see Espanosa and his union boldly take the initiative - inspired by other grassroots activist groups that have successfully created worker-controlled businesses - is enlightening and makes for some potentially great, human interest charged highlights. It's tough not to cheer for the little guy. Especially when it's clear that he's basically fighting for his dignity and survival in the wake of corporate greed and disinterest. However, it's also tough not to feel as though a paying audience is being selectively spoon fed anti-globalization rhetoric spun for the sake of contriving a sellable story that never really materializes here. As though this production crew was uncomfortable with completely lowering an obviously burdensome wall of self-preserving safety glass, arresting any satisfying feeling that this offering is giving you the complete story, while it conspicuously clicks out within a neatly determined time frame ready for small screen commercial distribution. Sure, 'The Take' does filter a lot of big picture information for easy digestion, and does make briefly rewarding attempts at cobbling together a linear tale that follows these hopeful and well-meaning agitators undermining the status quo on the eve of Argentina's contentious Presidential election. As an extended news article captured by an emotionally distant lens, this picture hits the mark. Unfortunately, rather weak attempts at presenting the deeper human drama of affected locals plopped in front of the camera seriously betray the core message being presented here. Deflating those moments when they're shown caught up in the turmoil of their dilemma. Making this disappointingly unfinished effort fairly mediocre as a truly captivating package over-all.

Check it out as an informative rental, but don't be surprised if you're hungry for something more substantial an hour later.

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