She's the Man
REVIEWED 03/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Loosely adapted and heavily updated from famed playwright William Shakespeare's play Twelfth Night, or What You Will, believed to have been written sometime between 1599 and 1601 for a February celebration to end the bygone Winter Feast holiday, this surprisingly delightful teen romp from director Andy Fickman ('Who's Your Daddy?' (2003)) stars Amanda Bynes ('Big Fat Liar' (2002), 'What a Girl Wants' (2003)) as Cornwall Academy's budding super jock Viola Hastings, determined to play scholastic soccer - despite her school's Girls Soccer Team being cancelled and Viola not being allowed to join the boys team - to the point of assuming her twin brother Sebastian's (James Kirk; 'Final Destination 2' (2003), 'X-Men 2' (2003)) identity as one of rival Illyria Prep School's newest transfer students and hunky Soccer Captain Duke Orseno's (Channing Tatum; 'Supercross' (2005), 'Coach Carter' (2005)) strangest dorm mate.

Quite frankly, I was fairly skeptical about this one, mainly because of its poster's ridiculously cheesy tag line: "Everybody has a secret... Duke wants Olivia who likes Sebastian who is really Viola whose brother is dating Monique so she hates Olivia who's with Duke to make Sebastian jealous who is really Viola who's crushing on Duke who thinks she's a guy...". It gave me a headache, and seemed to be an omen that this was most certainly a cinematic turkey most foul. To a certain extent, 'She's the Man' is fairly fluffy and predictable, but the story's familiarity really has more to do with the original source being borrowed from so many times in previous forms that it's kinda tough not to go into this screening without having a pretty good idea how it'll pan out over-all. Mistaken identities - either purposeful or unintentional - abound throughout this hundred and five-minute flick that also features Alex Breckenridge ('Big Fat Liar' (2002), 'D.E.B.S.' (2003)) as the real Sebastian's snarky debutante girlfriend Monique, television's 'Saturday Night Live' alumnus Julie Hagerty ('What About Bob?' (1991), 'A Guy Thing' (2003)) as Viola's flighty mother Daphne, and Laura Ramsey ('Lords of Dogtown' (2005)) as Duke's secret love interest Olivia.

However, what makes this contemporary version such a memorably hilarious comedy in its own right is Bynes' truly remarkable performance, effortlessly carrying the lion's share of writers Ewan Leslie, Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith's screenplay with a boundlessly expressive vitality and crisp comedic timing. Think of Lucille Ball in her prime, but as an adolescent, and you'll get an idea of what I mean. Pure brilliance is what you get here. Yes, all of the adults are pretty well portrayed as being idiots, and it's a shame that the rest of what this movie offers tends to diffuse some of the actually funny moments under a mountain of "look at me, I'm being funny" juvenile hijinx and rather pedantic punch lines from the supporting cast members - apparently due to Fickman's need to turn this feature into an ensemble escapade out of some strange lack of faith in his wildly capable star - but Bynes' reactions are priceless and quickly help you ignore the curious flaws with several laugh out loud moments.

Absolutely check out this mildly naughty, hugely hilarious treasure that wonderfully showcases Bynes' outstanding comedic talent.

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Stay Alive
REVIEWED 03/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

The sadistic antagonist of a survival/horror computer game based on the local legend about a ghoulish New Orleans girls boarding school and its evil head mistress, Elizabeth Bathory a.k.a. the Blood Countess (US debuting, Moscow-born Maria Kalinina), suddenly materializes and systematically picks off each player in the same manner as their CGI avatar dies, forcing Hutch MacNeil (Jon Foster; 'Thirteen Days' (2000), 'The Door in the Floor' (2004)) and his friends to save their lives in the real world by hunting down Bathory's secluded lair and killing her before her blood lust obliterates them all, in this delightfully chilling but slightly disjointed fright flick from co-writer/director William Brent Bell ('Sparkle and Charm' (1997)).

I'd read that 'Stay Alive' borrows elements from various existing and popular games, and some of the grey, zombie-like ghoulies that emerge from the shadows here do resemble those seen on the small screen at many movie theatre arcades. However, it's also interesting that the real Elizabeth Báthory (1560-1614) was a sadistic, Hungarian Countess who's arguably the most, uh, prolific female serial killer ever and whose horrific legacy seems to be the primary inspiration for much of what transpires in this eighty-five minute gore fest. I actually had a great time with this one, despite seeing certain similarities to 'Fear Dot Com' (2002) and possibly 'Hellraiser' (1987). In 'Stay Alive', the basic premise is that if you play that game and your character dies some hideously mutilating death - which is usually the case, isn't it - you die the same way, though. Surprisingly, it works as a wonderfully fresh story because of the fantasy and horror aspects that are tossed at Foster's character and co-stars Samaire Armstrong ('Not Another Teen Movie' (2001), 'DarkWolf' (2003)), Frankie Muniz ('Big Fat Liar' (2002), 'Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London' (2004)), Sophia Bush ('Van Wilder' (2002), 'Supercross' (2005), Jimmi Simpson ('Loser' (2000), 'Herbie: Fully Loaded' (2005)) and Adam Goldberg ('Dazed and Confused (1993), 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' (2003)) as each one of them is attacked throughout.

It's obviously a contemporary tale, and yet chains and shackles suddenly appear, and a ghostly horse drawn carriage roars out of nowhere to mow people down before vanishing into the ether. However, this movie doesn't force you to sit there taking a body count while ultimately expecting you to only find satisfaction in the gratuitous slaughters. 'Stay Alive' features interesting characters, who react to each moment in fairly interesting ways, giving a paying audience reasons to actually care what happens to them and how any of them will manage to survive. That's what makes this picture worth the price of admission. My only real problem is that the Blood Countess herself is given more scream time than screen time, so she's not the one of most fascinating new movie murderers ever seen, and is somewhat anticlimactic in the final scenes. In fact, the ending does feel fairly cobbled together and rushed, compared to the rest of this otherwise successfully entertaining adventure. Definitely keep an eye out for Simpson, who effortlessly steals the spotlight with his irreverence at every turn.

I have a feeling that more gore will appear in the rental version, so if you're a fan of horror, this one's well worth checking out as a fun suspense thriller that's packed with great ambience and primary characters to vicariously scurry around with on a spooky night. Good stuff.

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Slither
REVIEWED 04/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Recently promoted Wheesly, South Carolina Chief of Police Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion; 'Blast from the Past' (1999), 'Serenity' (2005)) is shocked to discover that something weird is going on in his small town during deer hunting season, after a meteorite conspicuously falls from the night sky and local businessman Grant Grant (Michael Rooker; 'Tombstone' (1993), 'The 6th Day' (2000)) begins mutating into a giant squid-like, pet and cattle-stealing creature with a million year-old hunger to control and absorb every living thing, in this hilariously macabre directoral debut from Bram Stoker Award-winning screenwriter James Gunn. Admittedly, I never saw 'Night of the Creeps' (1986) - the classic about mind-controlling alien slugs and zombie cannibals that this contemporary horror is reportedly a remake of - but 'Slither' is a wonderfully fresh monster movie packed with cleverly irreverent dialogue and wildly impressive special effects throughout. It also has a couple of Canadian connections, including having been shot in British Columbia. Fillion has some of the funniest quips here, while his slightly befuddled heroic character attempts to protect Bill's childhood sweetheart and Grant's initially unwitting wife Starla (Elizabeth Banks; 'Seabiscuit' (2003), 'Spider-Man 2' (2004)) from her hubby's slimy transformation that quickly escalates into a freakish invasion of gooey parasitic slugs and the lumbering flesh eating cadavers that are all mentally linked to what ever Grant has turned into.

Yes, a certain amount of this genre's prerequisite sexuality does make its way into this one - with one of the funniest comeback lines in response to someone not being in the mood for a little lovin' - but it's more a sheer pleasure just watching Gunn's over-all masterful screenplay systematically click along at a steady pace, playfully revealing each subsequent level of bizarre goriness as the story unfolds. How that legion of slithery CGI slimers eventually pour onto the big screen is absolutely brilliant, and the final scenes where a paying audience sees the tentacle flailing blob of writhing bodies that once was Grant is truly inspired and worth the price of admission alone. The special effects are easily some of the best and most memorable seen in a long while. However, what makes 'Slither' such an absolutely fun superior creep show is in how this entire primary cast - which also includes Gregg Henry ('Payback' (1999), 'Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever' (2002)) as Wheesly's continually flipping out Mayor Jack MacReady, and Tania Saulnier ('Limp' (1999)) playing local teen Kylie who shares an uncanny knowledge of this planet killing beastie from outer space - is given the opportunity to breathe life into their individual roles in order to make them all reasonably believable and interesting enough for you to care about what happens to them. They're not simply a bunch of trigger happy human finger puppets summarily led to the slaughter, and they consistently react in ways that actually do feel realistic within the scheme of the film. Of course, incredibly wry humour relentlessly rattles through this ninety-six minute blood bath of decidedly mature laughs, adding copious amounts of surprisingly delicious cheesiness to an already thoroughly enjoyable picture.

Absolutely do yourself a huge favour and check out this riotously entertaining and visually stunning creature feature that's well worth seeing on the big screen.

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Scary Movie 4
REVIEWED 05/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

While intrepid ditz Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris; 'Lost in Translation' (2003), 'Brokeback Mountain' (2005)) decides to help the elderly by starting her first day at her new job caring for Mrs. Norris (Cloris Leachman), an elderly catatonic shut-in living in a creepy house haunted by the ghost of a young Japanese boy (Garrett Masuda) whose father mysteriously vanished to secluded village held to a perilous truce with creatures living in the surrounding woods, Cindy's new neighbour, equally brain dead and recently divorced New Jersey Port Authority crane operator Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko; 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' (1996), 'Cinderella Man' (2005)), attempts to reconnect with his kids just as a sudden alien invasion of giant killer machines threatens to destroy humanity, in this inconsistently hilarious third sequel of the hit spoof 'Scary Movie' (2000) from director David Zucker ('Top Secret!' (1984), 'My Boss's Daughter' (2003)).

Quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of the Mad Magazine "look at us being funny, we're funny, right?" approach to somewhat predictable screenwriting that seems prevalent in comedies these days, but I'd also have to admit that this eighty-three minute romp is laugh-out-loud funny, funny, funny at specific times when the muse definitely strikes. It's just not relentlessly funny all the way through, losing much of its expected oomph by over-establishing the set ups for each series of comedic jabs at this franchise's latest handful of recently released cinematic targets. The best by far this time around is screenwriters Craig Mazin and Jim Abrahams' absolutely side splitting send up of 'Brokeback Mountain' (2005), featuring Anthony Anderson's ('Big Momma's House' (2000), 'Hustle & Flow' (2005)) returning Mahalik character and his buddy recalling their first, uh, fishing trip. Good stuff. In fact, both of Anderson's comparably brief and yet hugely refreshing performances here are really the only memorable reasons to check out this flick. Bierko and Faris do little more than sheepishly sleepwalk through their roles with stunned looks on their faces that (I guess) there's no accompanying laugh track, and neither of these stars barely offering much more than what's used for the ads. Bierko's big scene at the end that satirizes actor Tom Cruise's notorious "I'm in love" couch hopping on the real Oprah Winfrey Show actually seems unnecessarily over-long and desperately unfunny.

When 'Scary Movie 4' turns its attention to attempting to weave embellished moments from 'The Grudge' (2004), 'The Village' (2004) and 'Saw' (2004) into the over-all story arc, that's when this movie tends to play a fairly lame game of hit and miss with a paying audience's collective funny bone, though. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that the script should have been made fresh and had those scenes dropped in, as seen in 'Date Movie'. This one definitely eats up much of its screening taking turns lambasting and building upon 'War of the Worlds' (2005), such as when Leslie Nielsen makes an appearance as the American President and ends up unwittingly pulling a full monty in front of shocked delegates in the UN Assembly hall. It's just that this spoof isn't outrageously spoofy enough to hold your attention from beginning to closing credits, pretty well conceding that feeling by resorting to lazily relying on overtly yawn inducing toilet humour at key moments when virtually anything plucked from a dusty bag of Vaudeville sight gags would have been funnier. Of course, then this film wastes more time reclaiming the momentum that those failed jokes sucked the life out of. That's disappointing, because 'Scary Movie 4' is definitely a worthwhile comedy during the few times that it remembers to be truly hilarious.

Rent this one if you're a fan of the original, 'Scary Movie 2' (2001) and/or 'Scary Movie 3' (2003), but prepare to spend a lot of time chuckling and expecting to laugh rather than actually laughing out loud.

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The Sentinel
REVIEWED 05/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Adapted from To Live and Die in L.A. novelist Gerald Petievich's 2003 book, this wonderfully intriguing suspense thriller from director Clark Johnson ('S.W.A.T.' (2003)) pits veteran White House Secret Service security supervisor Pete Garrison (Michael Douglas; 'Romancing the Stone' (1984), 'The In-Laws' (2003)) against his former friend and protege David Breckinridge (Kiefer Sutherland; 'The Lost Boys' (1987), 'Taking Lives' (2004)) during an investigation into a plot to assassinate the President of the United States (played by David Rasche; 'An Innocent Man' (1989), 'Flight 93' (2006)), when Garrison is implicated and ends up evading arrest while not only attempting to uncover the traitor who's framed him but also trying to keep his secret adulterous affair with First Lady Sarah Ballentine (Kim Basinger; 'Nine 1/2 Weeks' (1986), 'Cellular' (2004)) hidden.

Grey shades of 'The Bodyguard' (1992), 'In the Line of Fire' (1993) and 'The Fugitive' (1993) are clearly evident in this otherwise fairly entertaining thriller that clicks along at an impressive pace and serves up some interesting characters. Douglas is in his element here, in what's hopefully the first in a series of similar roles yet to come, effortlessly injecting a wider range of emotional nuances to the spy genre than has been seen in a while. It's also a treat watching him play off of Sutherland's wonderfully stoic tone throughout, because both of these actors can naturally make their roles complex without making the entire picture seem unnecessarily complicated. Sure, writer George Nolfi's screenplay tends to feel bogged down by clichés and an inability to build convincing enough baddies to overshadow Garrison's evasive scramble for vindication, and cinematographer Gabriel Beristain doesn't quite manage to consistently drag you into this story as a high velocity cloak and dagger ride. At one point, the fiery husk of the Presidential helicopter falls from the sky after suddenly being hit by a ground to air missile, but it's almost as though that scene was shot at a nervous distance on the sound stage for the old 'Thunderbirds' TV show, because it's bereft of any noticeable impact to the plot line when it's obviously supposed to matter.

In fact, 'The Sentinel' almost seems at times as though it was meant to be released direct to video, because the effects are fairly low budget and poorly realized, and the last act stand-off within the dim tunnel that apparently links the Toronto Convention Centre to the courtyard in front of that town's City Hall is ridiculously amateurish. No, this movie primarily takes place in Washington - where a lot of the action and suspense is impressive - and only detours from much of that good stuff when the U.S. President heads north for a G8 summit held in Toronto near the end. That's when the quality goes down the tubes, frankly. Fortunately, through talent and sheer will power, this primary cast that also includes television's 'Desperate Housewives' co-star and big screen first timer Eva Longoria as Breckinridge's underling recruit Jill Marin does keep the momentum of their individual stories alive and kicking through to the closing credits.

'The Sentinel' could have very easily turned into a laughable turkey if it had been cast differently. Check it out as a fun rental that packs an impressive troupe of stars all masterfully working together to make movie magic happen against sometimes impossible odds.

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Silent Hill
REVIEWED 05/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

This gruesome, gorgeously surreal-looking big screen adaptation from co-story writer/director Christophe Gans ('Necronomicon' (1994), 'Le pacte des loups' (2001)) based on the ground breaking 1999 Sony PlayStation Horror/Survival game reportedly borrows elements from that original version, as well as aspects of its subsequent editions, as well-meaning mother Rose Da Silva (Radha Mitchell; 'Pitch Black' (2000), 'Finding Neverland' (2004)) spirits away - and then loses - her unwittingly haunted daughter Sharon (Jodelle Ferland; 'They' (2002), 'Tideland' (2005)) to the secluded and seemingly abandoned Toluca County town of Silent Hill, where a terrible secret and the revenge of a horrifying evil threatens to trap them and local Police Officer Cybil Bennett (Laurie Holden; 'The Majestic' (2001), 'Bailey's Billion$' (2005)) beyond their control.

Wow. There are so many fascinating, visually stunning moments that fill up this wonderfully eerie hundred and twenty-five minute movie that even if the rest of it stank, it would still be well worth the price of admission. Gans (along with Nicolas Boukhrief, who also worked on the story) and screenwriter Roger Avary artfully translate the computer game with such a richly fresh vision of spine chilling terror that a paying audience can't help but sit and stare in sheer awe at some of the deliciously bizarre sights that materialize in an almost trance-like timely manner here. You're not rushed through it at all, giving 'Silent Hill' a superbly heavy atmosphere that seeps into your pores. The craftsmanship of Japanese Horror permeates virtually every corner, but the true brilliance is that it's seamlessly infused with a heaping chunk of American gore, all presented in a fresh way that truly works for this predominantly female crew of talent. However, the best aspect of this one is that the story is also incredible, cleverly layered and allowed to unfold in a series of mini vignettes that play off of each other, as Rose is pushed deeper into this ghastly realm in search of her lost child. Sure, I would have preferred the scenes featuring the demonic Pyramid Head creature to have led in some way to a more concise explanation about how he's connected to the ethereal plain that this town shifts in and out of, but that oversight doesn't particularly deflate his impact or utter scariness. Pretty well the entire cast pulls in exceptional performances here, especially Mitchell - who effortlessly carries the lion's share of the picture - and Holden, but Deborah Kara Unger's ('Payback' (1999), 'White Noise' (2005)) witchy Dahlia Gillespie role tends to feel like a misplaced stage act at times, and Alice Krige ('Star Trek: First Contact' (1996), 'Reign of Fire' (2002)) doesn't quite manage to add much dimension to her character beyond a familiar waxy grin. Again, they're minor quibbles that don't really detract from the white knuckled fun that systematically overwhelms your senses until the brutally violent finale. The climax has some hugely gruesome stuff in it that definitely won't be easy to take, if you're in any way squeamish about torturous murder.

Absolutely check out this wild creep show treasure for the eye-popping visuals and a top notch story rife with delightfully grim surprises.

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Sophie Scholl
REVIEWED 05/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

The last five days of twenty-one year-old Ludwig Maximilians University of Munich student and Third Reich resistance intellectual Sophia "Sophie" Magdalena Scholl (1921-1943) seem selectively chronicled in this otherwise fascinating Oscar-nominated, subtitled 2005 German film from director Marc Rothemund ('Das Merkwürdige Verhalten geschlechtsreifer Großstädter zur Paarungszeit' (1998), 'Harte Jungs' (2000)) that reportedly reenacts actual transcripts from that wartime ordeal, in which Sophie (played by Julia Jentsch; 'Der Untergang' (2004), 'Die Fetten Jahre sind vorbei' (2004)) and her older brother Hans (Fabian Hinrichs) are arrested and interrogated by the Gestapo, and are then summarily tried for treason, shortly after these uncannily brave siblings are caught distributing the sixth edition of their Weiße Rose newsletter. If you've never heard of Sophie Scholl before, it's fairly unlikely that you'll come away afterwards feeling as though any tangible insight regarding who this young woman was before her untimely martyrdom.

'Sophie Scholl - Die letzten Tage' (its homegrown title) tends to take for granted that a paying audience will arrive already familiar with her background story, as well as a deep knowledge of what life in Hitler's Munich was like in 1943 - three years into WWII, mere months after the Soviet Allies' victory at the Battle of Stalingrad, and long before Germany's total surrender in May 1945. Much of that larger context is surprisingly overlooked during this hundred and seventeen-minute movie, and most of Ms. Scholl's personal history and that of the resistance group she was a member of pretty well remain a mystery to the uninitiated. That's a shame, but you can at least read all six of their leaflets at www.jlrweb.com/whiterose/leaflets.html to get a better idea of their furore about the Führer at that time. However, as much as 'Sophie Scholl: The Last Days' (its complete international title) fails to carefully set the stage, Fred Breinersdorfer's screenplay wonderfully zeroes in on the sharp temperament of Scholl during her sessions with Gestapo investigator Robert Mohr (Gerald Alexander Held; 'Schindler's List' (1993), 'Napola' (2004)). Those oftentimes electrifying scenes of intensely duelling minds comprise the core of this picture, and are what make this one well worth the price of admission. Jentsch is absolutely incredible here, even though her times opposite Held do feel as though they've been unduly edited for the sake of leaving enough screen time for what ever dramatic impact the rest of this feature provides. Rothemund's attempts to somewhat strip away any notion of glamourizing Scholl's arrest is chillingly clear, but there's barely anything that's provided beyond Mohr's dim office to encourage your empathy for her fate. That could simply be a result of it being distributed outside of Germany, but because a lot of the dialogue stresses free speech in the face of dictatorial censorship, it's also tough to avoid considering this film to be a topical allegory for contemporary debate during wartime. A political statement disguised as an historical depiction, in much the same way that 'Good Night and Good Luck' (2005) can be taken as. I'm not sure if drawing parallels is the true intention or not, here, but I enjoy the idea.

Check it out if you're already familiar with the story and want to learn more specifics, but what's really interesting about 'Sophie Scholl' is in how you personally interpret what's being presented on the big screen by this outstanding cast of primary players.

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Souvenir of Canada
REVIEWED 07/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Playing out more as a relentlessly willowy, self-indulgent sentimental journey into the obviously sheltered young life of one privileged Caucasian Vancouverite that's predominantly set to an artificially perky bubble gum soundtrack rather than anything else, this outrageously superficial, forgettably laughable 2005 NFB/CBC co-production from debuting feature director Robin Neinstein tenuously chronicles middle aged visual artist, acclaimed novelist and Pop Culture bobble head Douglas Coupland's somewhat dubious grand experiment of creating a temporary Art installation called "Canada House" - seen here as a compilation of various memorabilia and reconfigured objects arranged throughout a derelict suburban BC split level destined for demolition - that's intended to illicit a nostalgic sense of national identity only understood by Canadians. Okay, if you want to read that I loved this one because I'm a Canadian, stop reading. It's fairly clear that this oftentimes aggravatingly meandering seventy-minute film is merely a coy cinematic ad marketing Coupland's puffy supposed genius, along with his two recently published coffee table picture books: Souvenir of Canada (2004) and Souvenir of Canada 2 (2005). This wouldn't be so overwhelmingly nauseating if Neinstein and cinematographer Chris Romeike had actually attempted to make a recognizably insightful documentary that lives up to Coupland's self-imposed challenge of characterizing an entire nation, but they instead decide to simply laze in the lilting gooey shadow of this chipmunk faced host as he continually presents his selective memories of the late Twentieth Century as being those of all Canadians. He has the entire innards of that house painted white, like snow, and brings in giant fake boulders. Ooh, that's original. He then adds an assortment of household curios, such as an Ookpik doll and a Windsor Salt box, a Rush concert flyer and a fifty pound bag of whale blubber, and then sits back and waits for the standing ovation. Coupland insistently coos about such junk his chunky floor lamps constructed out of found weather beaten floats, the two-headed Canadian goose sculpture made from decoys that he blushingly politicizes in a seemingly awkward after thought about Canada's two official languages, and walks you through his garage display of scaled down Hydro electric towers constructed of hockey sticks.

He has one room's wall plastered with a large picture of the space shuttle's Canadarm, set beside another showing a big image of Terry Fox's (1958-1981) prosthetic leg, without you being given any connections or useful guidance as a spectator. He doesn't explain. There's a stubbie beer bottle on this movie's poster, but he hunts down collectable beer cans instead. Don't try understanding, dear mortal ticket holder. Love it, it's Art. Embrace his whimsy, he's Douglas Coupland and he wrote two books about it. The entire film is like that. This isn't a celebration of Canada, except in the mind's eye of this vacuously chirpy creator, as he flits around his crew of nameless assistants like a bulbous, balding Warhol wannabe overseeing every detail of mediocrity that's magically made chic by the slender touch of his pasty hand. This isn't an easily accessible movie about Coupland's creative process either, since the majority of his time on-screen is spent evading clear ideas while verbally wrestling out metaphorical quips from a frenetic stream of Quixotic consciousness that too readily sinks into a glut of sigh saturated personal anecdotes about his boring early Twenties and his lovingly bewildered parents. You never see him actually making anything, just decorating. It's all for show. Isn't this wonderful? Well, no. Except for citing Fox's astounding courage with a few brief archival clips which are inevitably, nonsensically personalized, 'Souvenir of Canada' primarily ends up being about things that a paying audience either takes for granted or doesn't really care about, if coming to this screening means expecting to see a meaningful examination of what's specifically representative of this country's true cultural identity. Stopping by a busy Tim Horton's coffee shop and a Laura Secord's chocolate confectionery on a day trip through The Bay department store would have garnered more thoroughly captivating results, despite all of those Canadian institutions recently falling under U.S. ownership. Sure, it's funny revisiting old National Film Board reels and being shown a number of goofy Canuck clichés here, but it's also preposterous to seriously believe that homegrown and international moviegoers watching this picture will feel as though they're being presented with an appropriately researched glimpse of anything other than Coupland's persona masquerading as being that of Canada's. I'm not suggesting that this feature should be a piece of flag waving propaganda rife with lists of achievements and accolades. Except on specific occasions, the typical Canadian's expression of national pride more often rests somewhere between apathy and embarrassment - unless you insult it. However, there's no discernibly wider context shown that's beyond his lifespan so far. He's flown in planes a lot, so you see unrecognizable stretches of geography that might belong to Canada as seen at a distance from above. Only his parents and adoring sycophants are interviewed. Coupland isn't a fascinatingly eloquent enough alternative to Farley Mowat or Leonard Cohen, and his numbing lack of appealing aptitude makes you regret the passing of Mordecai Richler (1931-2001), Pierre Burton (1920-2004) and Stephen Leacock (1869-1944).

Everything is filtered and portrayed as though nothing ever happened or existed if it wasn't experienced as being a quaint novelty by this guy who seems to take gleeful pride in being a cluelessly glib pariah-like expert purposely alienated from the depth and breadth of his subject matter throughout. Shades of a Martin Short skit come to mind. Perhaps in the sense that Canada's spokesperson ends up being this empty walking soundbite dispenser, 'Souvenir of Canada' is keenly representative of what being Canadian means in the grand scheme of things today - Barry Stevens is credited as being the screenwriter here, even though there's no tangible evidence of a script and he merely steps into view a couple of times as Coupland's equally glazed eyed and gushy friend - but I doubt it, and actually wish that I could remember how many times critic Roger Ebert used the word "hate" to describe his reaction to a film a couple of years ago. I think it was eight. This one deserves at least ten as a warm up. The demolition crane shown near the end of this feature, effortlessly scraping down Coupland's "Canada House" of tarted up pseudo-archaeological contemporary flotsam against an unaffected backdrop of Pacific breeze swayed dewy wilderness, feels more memorably satisfying in contrast to the tempestuously tepid sentiments lazily conjured up for this superficially bubbly waste of celluloid and government grants. It's likely destined to be automatically dusted off as part of the prerequisite annual Canada Day pastiche that's beamed out as good enough small screen viewing North of the US border, but you're better off deeking past 'Souvenir of Canada' - after thumbing through Coupland's similarly fluffy titular books - and simply touring out and about this seductively vast and enigmatic landscape of collective diversities in order to discover the real identity of Canada.

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Superman Returns
REVIEWED 07/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Five long years have passed since Superman (Brandon Routh; 'Karla' (2006)) left Earth in search of his home planet Krypton, now suddenly reappearing in the greyer skies over Metropolis and returning as his sheepish alter ego Clark Kent to The Daily Planet's emotionally hardened star newspaper reporter Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth; 'Blue Crush' (2002), 'Beyond the Sea' (2004)), in this slightly unsettling yet thoroughly delightful dramatic fantasy from director Bryan Singer ('The Usual Suspects' (1995), 'X-Men 2' (2003)) that acknowledges the story lines and spirit of Christopher Reeve's famous motion picture depictions while deliberately presenting a few refreshing new twists, where young mother Lois struggles with disillusionment over her former girlish infatuation and brief affair with Superman, while his arch rival Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey; 'Working Girl' (1988), 'The Life of David Gale' (2003)) once again breaches Superman's Fortress of Solitude in a scheme to take over the world using advanced alien technology that assures the annihilation of North America and the deaths of billions, as well as satisfying Luthor's murderous vendetta against the world's mightiest super hero.

Wow. It seems rather lazy to review this over-all incredibly impressive hundred and fifty-four minute summer block buster without first touching upon the legacy of what has arguably been the unrivaled leading figure in popular culture for generations. Pretty well everyone worldwide chuckles at their mental image of this spit curled strong man in blue and red tights said to be "Faster than a speeding bullet...". Long enjoying international status as the quintessential iconic American hero that began with his vaguely humble published debut in Detective Comics' Action Comics #1 six tumultuous years after being created by Cleveland's Jerry Siegel (1914-1996) and Toronto's Joe Shuster (1914-1992) in 1932, the immediately recognizable character of Superman reportedly soon crossed over into radio serials spanning 1941 'til 1951, and The Man of Steel's big screen adaptation - in Betty Boop and Popeye shorts director Dave "Max's brother" Fleischer's Oscar nominated ten-minute animated film 'Superman' (1941) - both reportedly voiced by vocal star performer and subsequent television game show host Clayton "Bud" Collyer (1908-1969). You can find a wealth of audio clips from these and further incarnations at Steven Younis' impressive Superman fan site (www.supermanhomepage.com/multimedia/multimedia.php?topic=sounds#radio). Silver screen actor Kirk Alyn's (1910-1999) starring role as this Son of Krypton turned mild mannered Daily Planet cub reporter heralded in this caped Boy Scout's first live action feature 'Superman' (1948) from Paramount, inspiring Iowa native George Reeves' (1914-1959) initial portrayal in 'Superman and the Mole-Men' (1951) - apparently the pilot for his famous hundred and three-episode small screen series 'Adventures of Superman' (1952-1958) simultaneously edited into a string of low budget reels likely most remembered by memorabilia fans - later personified in cinema by Christopher Reeve (1952-2004) as Superman, with Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor, Margot Kidder as Lois Lane, and screen legend Jackie Cooper playing curmudgeonly Editor-in-Chief Perry White, in the three-time Academy Award nominated and Grammy-winning 'Superman: The Movie' that spawned three progressively forgettable sequels, 'Superman II (1980), 'Superman III' (1983) and 'Superman IV: The Quest for Peace' (1987) for contemporary moviegoers.

Routh easily adopts this unenviable mantle, effortlessly breathing a surprisingly tangible sense of insightful realism into the overwise wildly fantastical role of Superman here, while mildly mimicking subtle gestures reminiscent of Reeve's performance. Frankly, the two likenesses of Superman and Reeve are inseparable to many fans, so it's a relief that Routh bows to that essence while respectfully making this role his own. From someplace deep, you quickly realize that you're witnessing a changing of royalty, while being consistently entertained by the eye-popping special effects that regularly exceed the limits of imagination and seamlessly electrify this strong story that deftly humanizes this beloved fictional God who walks amongst mortals. Thankfully, director Singer - who dedicates this picture to Christopher Reeve - clearly wants a paying audience to believe this flick is a kind of biopic about a living figure who's been in the public eye for decades, and that's how writers Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris' screenplay presents itself as being. They know you know him, and wonderfully weave in new elements that beautifully expand upon the familiar comic book themes of this character and the primary cast that inhabit this alternative world of colour tinted Film Noir and Gothic architecture cleverly retrofitted with modern big city attitudes and technology. Bosworth is spellbinding, presenting a fascinatingly complex and believable Lois Lane who perfectly matches her man in tights counterpart. The concept of the damsel saving the knight whenever the knight's not saving the damsel is beautifully examined here. Awesome. It's also deliciously spine tingling re-experiencing choice orchestral scores from John Williams' original soundtrack as they highlight key points throughout this effort, and the additional archival footage of Marlon Brando's performance as Superman's Kryptonian father Jor-El used here is another welcome touch of class. Sure, there are flaws. There are briefly distractive glimpses that do clearly feel reminiscent of Christian imagery. 'Superman Returns' also contains playful moments that dangerously tilt towards a certain unavoidable campiness at times, as well as apparently feeling the need to overtly evoke specific recollections of the earlier movies as momentarily fun distractions or as useful context. The fun winks to fans are great, but other referential scenes sometimes gum up the works. They seem to rely on you actively revisiting this effort's relatively recent cinematic predecessors beforehand - such as when you're shown Lex's familiarity with the Fortress of Solitude, or when you see Lois' residual emotional baggage come to the forefront - as a kind of skewed mirroring that's not quite a remake of those stories, but at the same time expecting you to selectively forget that different faces filled those shoes. This dose of intermittent brain warping isn't of monumental significance, but it's likely the most notably unsettling aspect of this revamped new telling still rife with more than enough originality to make it a winner, and that's reportedly expected to see its own already much anticipated sequel hit the big screen sometime in 2009.

It's a little weird, but absolutely check out this extremely satisfying and hugely entertaining adventure as much for its white knuckled cliff hangers as for its small dramatic moments of realization and character insight that will definitely make kids and kids at heart believe that Superman has indeed returned for good.

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A Scanner Darkly
REVIEWED 07/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

While deep undercover as disheveled addict Robert Arctor (Keanu Reeves; 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure' (1989), 'Constantine' (2005)), Orange County Sheriff's Department NARC field operative "Fred" (also played by Reeves) slowly falls under the disorientating, consciousness-splitting influence of a supposedly deadly little red narcotic known as Substance D - the unknown source of which he's been assigned to investigate through his contact with Arctor's coke head girlfriend, small time "D" pusher Donna Hawthorne (Winona Ryder; 'Great Balls of Fire!' (1989), 'Mr. Deeds' (2002)) - in this strangely unfinished animated novelty from writer/director Richard Linklater ('Slacker' (1991), 'Bad News Bears' (2005)) that's adapted and updated from renowned Sci-Fi author Philip Kindred Dick's (1928-1982) 1977 novel, where "Fred" ends up studying video surveillance footage surreptitiously taken at Arctor's ramshackle bungalow with the unwitting intent of gathering enough evidence to arrest Robert.

Despite Disney Studios ('Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' (1937), 'Cinderella' (1950)), Ralph Bakshi ('American Pop' (1981), 'Cool World' (1992)) and others gaining reasonable success doing the same thing in their films, a lot of recent hype has been cranked out about this much anticipated feature's use of the rotoscoping technique that's been carried over from the production tool kit of classical animators and then updated using computer aided artistry to give it a look similar to that of Linklater's theatrical acid trip, 'Waking Life' (2001). Unfortunately, this process of tracing over and recolouring an entire live action movie starring familiar talent as it's done here overwhelmingly distracts from what plays out in the final cut. The style becomes a visual novelty that quickly looks unnecessarily cheesy and gets in the way more often than not, because you're constantly noticing how lazily imperfect some of the scenes and most of these known faces are redrawn throughout. Ryder and Woody Harrelson (('Wildcats' (1986), 'A Prairie Home Companion' (2006)) are barely recognizable, and the majority of suspected subtle gestures are completely obliterated by a sheer lack of attention to such basic, important details in the drawings. I've seen TV commercials and music videos that worked better in that regard. Sure, the basic premise of this story - where addiction induced schizophrenia is presented within the larger framework of a semi-futuristic American Police State society - plays out as being an intriguing context for this hundred-minute film. Notable co-stars Robert Downey Jr. ('Weird Science' (1985), 'The Shaggy Dog' (2006)) and Harrelson playing psychotic conspiracy freak James Barris and doped up simpleminded slacker Ernie Luckman respectively, do pull in fairly good, oftentimes funny anecdotal performances here as well. However, another relentlessly aggravating problem with 'A Scanner Darkly' is that Linklater's woefully flat screenplay consistently fails to pull a paying audience into this "seven years from now" world that's somewhat outwardly familiar and yet layered with hyper sophisticated technology used in order to keep an ever invasive watchful eye on public citizens.

It seems unimaginatively trite as depicted, without encouraging any sort of wonderment regarding - for instance - the "scatter suit" that cloaks each NARC in a multitude of fragmented full-bodied images of different people looped in blurred succession as a means of protecting their identity from everyone and each other while not in plain clothes and unmasked. This is fascinating stuff, but that specific toy ultimately ends up feeling like a poorly cobbled magic trick supporting a rather superficial plot twist involving another player later on. Disappointing. I also wanted to see Reeves more fully experiment with suffering from a major personality crisis, as the two hemispheres of his character's brain wrestle with reality, while wearing a multi-faced disguise when he's not posing as Arctor. That kind of potentially fascinating range and depth of emotion is never tangibly considered during what is essentially a vague character study that lurches towards madness and eventual clinical brainwashing without particularly getting anyone's fingers dirty. The script rarely gives a fresh dimension for this cast of otherwise proven talent to work with. This is even more obvious during the last third of this picture, after all of the amusing mini adventures involving hallucinations and other drug culture clichés have run their course, when 'A Scanner Darkly' curiously skims the remainder of its primary story as a series of loosely connected key moments that erratically shove you through what's left without bothering to give any clear sense of what "Fred" - summarily renamed "Bruce" at that point - is personally experiencing as a detoxified, functional vegetable. He's admitted to The New Path rehabilitation clinic, where you next see him quietly sitting with a group like an extra from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' (1975). Then, "Bruce" is suddenly seen holding a mop and told that he's being transferred to another facility, immediately cutting to him relocated to an isolated farm. Linklater's interest in actually making a real film that's inhabited by captivating people worth caring about from start to finish seems to dramatically dwindle as this show progresses, leaving you nursing a sore neck from repeatedly tilting your head in confusion over where the rest of the story disappeared to. A wealth of opportunities for insight that really should have been included are ignored for no apparent reason - other than perhaps because the anti-climactic ending and closing credits are due at any moment.

Rent this cuss bloated and nudity tinged animated curiosity if you're a fan of experimental Art films or just like cartoons in the vein of 'Heavy Metal' (1981) that are intended for a mature audience, but you're probably better off simply reading Dick's original book and relying on your own imagination rather than torturing yourself with this disappointingly flawed and forgettably wasteful paint by numbers montage.

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Scoop
REVIEWED 07/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Awkwardly intrepid American journalism student in London Sondra Pransky (Scarlett Johansson; 'Home Alone 3' (1997), 'The Island' (2005)) finds herself burdened with the news scoop of the Century when legendary Brit headline hound Joe Strombel (Ian McShane; 'If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium' (1969), 'Agent Cody Banks' (2003)) materializes from the after life insisting that hunky aristocratic businessman Peter Lyman (Hugh Jackman; 'Kate & Leopold' (2001), 'X-Men: The Last Stand' (2006)) is a latter day Jack the Ripper known as the Tarot Card Killer, in this oftentimes quaintly humourous comedy of errors from writer/director Woody Allen ('Sleeper' (1973), 'Match Point' (2005)), where Pransky enlists the hesitant and skeptical assistance of visiting stage magician Sidney "Splendini" Waterman (Allen) in order to gather enough proof of Lyman's guilt before she can break the story as a credible new investigative newspaper reporter. In a way, 'Scoop' feels an awful lot like a reshuffled second act of Allen's uncharacteristically dramatic 'Match Point', where slightly similar crimes have been committed in both films but a cast of much goofier characters is given the task of solving whodunit from a completely different angle here. From opposite ends of the spectrum, both movies also experiment with introducing ghosts at key moments. This latest release is more along the lines of 'Play it Again, Sam' (1972) on that front, though. That's pretty well where the comparisons should end, and yet Allen's wonderfully satisfying screenplay that's layered by familiar neurotic patter and affected shenanigans does seem to pluck aspects from his 'Crimes and Misdemeanours' (1989) and 'Manhattan Murder Mystery' (1993) as well. No matter.

The result is an over-all raucously delightful ninety-five minute caper of captivating amateur crime sleuthing laced with quippish bygone knee slappers reminiscent of those relentlessly fired off by some of Tinseltown's legendary funny men. To name a few, Allen's character notably personifies shades of Groucho Marx, Danny Kaye, and the Three Stooges all rolled into one trembling little body sputtering most of the, uh, um, th-the, uh... y'know, the, uh, the best punch lines. There is an underlying problem with that, though. Partly because this is an atypical character for her, Johansson does take a few scenes to settle in to her starring role as an easily distracted and baffled would-be detective who assumes the guise of actress Jade Spence while following Waterman's advice to access Lyman's upper class world by seducing that suspected serial killer with her womanly charms. It's a tough sell when compared to what fans can only imagine Allen's former muse Dianne Keaton doing with that role, making Sondra initially seem like an "It Girl" bit player soon to be overshadowed by the leading heroine. Along with that, 'Scoop' tends to hang back during the majority of her moments, affording Johansson very few close-ups or chances to use her otherwise proven dramatic ability, as though either the director or cinematographer Remi Adefarasin is unsure about giving her the full attention of a paying audience - versus forcing her to wrestle with Allen's on-screen supporting role for the spotlight. The latter happens more often than not, somewhat diminishing Pransky as being a primary influence in that cinematic world for most of this picture. Sadly, the men are hilarious, while the women are only amusing. As an aside, Jackman merely hovers through his scenes with a moderately bland stock performance and a cardboard smile that barely justify his mention in the credits. The strong story's beautifully executed construction is the true attraction here. The real scene stealers are McShane's incredibly bombastic cameos as Strombel, inspiring several of the hugest laughs while precociously escaping his ethereal fate on the River Styx to reappear and continually prod Pransky and Waterman along. Good stuff.

Check out 'Scoop' as a consistently funny flick, but really only if you're a devout fan of Woody Allen's earlier brand of humour and are perhaps pining for his long overdue return to the same well that delivered 'Crimes and Misdemeanours' and 'Manhattan Murder Mystery'.

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Step Up
REVIEWED 08/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Impulsive inner city delinquent Tyler Gage (Channing Tatum; 'Coach Carter' (2005), 'She's the Man' (2006)) ends up court ordered to serve two hundred hours of community service to be performed at the scene, after he takes the heat during a late night prank late night prank with his best friend Mac (Damaine Radcliff; 'Glory Road' (2006)) and tag along Skinny Carter (first timer De'Shawn Washington), in this light hearted and surprisingly enjoyable teen romance from actor/choreographer turned debuting director Anne Fletcher, where Tyler has the opportunity to possibly turn his shady dead end life around by helping prim Maryland School of the Arts part time ballet instructor and full time Senior dance student Nora Clark (Jenna Dewan; 'Take the Lead' (2006), 'The Grudge 2' (2006)) rehearse for her ambitious end of semester Autumn Showcase routine.

Broad, familiar similarities to 'Save the Last Dance' (2001) and 'Take the Lead' abound throughout this brightly undemanding hundred and three minute family flick. If you're looking for an intricately crafted story, you won't find it here, but go in feeling somewhat skeptical as I did and you're bound to quickly forget what your problem was long before that first sumptuously lingering juicy kiss scene. What primarily catches and maintains your attention from pretty well the beginning through to the closing credits is the effortlessly dynamic chemistry that impressively crackles between Tatum and Dewan, carrying the lion's share of co-writers Duane Adler and Melissa Rosenberg's playfully slick screenplay throughout. Sure, 'Step Up' features two nicely constructed peripheral stories involving this starring young couple's on-screen friends, but Fletcher carefully uses those mild distractions to further develop the already strong plot line involving the main characters. Those mini dramas belong here, appropriately adding to the over-all momentum with delightfully fresh opportunities for some interesting performances. In that sense, top marks also go to Radcliff, as well as R&B singer Mario and actor Drew Sidora ('White Chicks' (2004)) as smitten music man Myles and vivacious singer Lucy respectively. It's actually quite clever how this picture solidly clicks together at a consistent pace. As well, some of the wry quips shared amongst this cast are absolutely priceless. However, it's fairly obvious from the opening credits' back and forth editing of Hip Hop moves versus Ballet composure that this movie is really all about dancing. There are a handful of such scenarios mixed in - with half of them apparently cut together more for the purposes of comedy relief - that are truly entertaining and somewhat contagious. Scorer Aaron Zigman's incredibly crisp soundtrack definitely helps augment a paying audience's unabashed enthusiasm for and enjoyment of those moments. Sure, it tends to rely on stereotypes and is bereft of any particularly outstanding dramatic depictions of gritty teen angst - even when it deals with the aftermath of a drive by shooting - but, it somehow magically works as presented here. Even the script's mildly predictable contrivances ring true enough and make sense within the context of this fictitious adolescent world. Good stuff.

If you're looking for a bright, fluffy feel good matinee that serves up some delightfully personable characters letting loose to an amazing soundtrack, absolutely check out this finely crafted big screen crowd pleaser.

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Snakes on a Plane
REVIEWED 08/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

When off road dirt biker and Bali bound surfer Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips; 'One Perfect Day' (2004), 'Wolf Creek' (2005)) witnesses the brutal murder of a vacationing Los Angeles Court Prosecutor in Hawaii at the hands of elusive L.A. underworld kingpin Eddie Kim (debuting Vancouverite Byron Lawson), veteran FBI field agent Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson; 'Do the Right Thing' (1989), 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' (2005)) appears out of nowhere to save Sean from a similar fate and quickly gets him aboard a red eye flight to the US West Coast to testify against Kim, in this wildly over-the-top survival horror crowd pleaser from director David R. Ellis ('Final Destination 2' (2003), 'Cellular' (2004)), where that commandeered airliner's other passengers and crew unwittingly become hapless victims to a crate of four hundred and fifty poisonous exotic snakes released from the inboard cargo hold in order to kill Jones in mid-flight.

This flick is such an audacious, outrageously cheesy cinematic confection that's gleefully bloated with almost every B-movie cliché on purpose, that a paying audience can't help but have an enormously fun time with it. 'Snakes on a Plane' deliriously revels in how purposely bad it is, and that's what makes it so deliciously contagious. At least half of the scenes contain gratuitous violence. All of the characters are essentially vapid stereotypes. Much of the dialogue and most of the peripheral story lines are primarily inconsequential, and yet this hundred and five minute picture is switch off above the neck thoroughly entertaining. The plot structure barely holds together, with the pretense being so overwhelmingly contrived that there's really no point in questioning the validity of how those big nasty beasties get on that doomed airplane. They're there. They're furiously aggressive. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. Reportedly shot in Vancouver, this feature's cast also includes Julianna Margulies ('The Newton Boys' (1998), 'Ghost Ship' (2002)) as retiring Senior Flight Attendant Claire Miller, Kenan Thompson ('D2: The Mighty Ducks' (1994), 'Fat Albert' (2004)), Sunny Mabrey ('Species III' (2004), 'xXx: State of the Union' (2005)), David Koechner ('Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy' (2004), 'Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby' (2006)) and Ottawa's Emily Holmes ('Familia' (2005)), and it's clear from the beginning that everyone on the screen is well aware that they're playing a crowd of panicked straight men and women in a tongue-in-cheek spectacle opposite a predominantly computer animated frenzy of cobras and rattlers, thirty thousand feet above the stormy moonlit Pacific Ocean.

'Snakes on a Plane' definitely has the same feel to it as most of the laughably awful infestation disaster movies of thirty or more years ago, but you're never given enough time to become bored with or aggravated by what ever happens. The action is virtually non-stop, with a lot of the outlandishly sophomoric gore played up for comedic effect, much like that of the later big screen spawn from the 'Child's Play' (1988) franchise and (uh, forgive the pun) Monty Python's memorably bloody small screen chuckles. It spends little time on presenting each main player, before everyone enters the fright of their lives. Star Samuel L. Jackson has a blast here, gleefully chewing up the screen and snarling unquotably coarse quips while his character attempts to contain a relentlessly worsening situation. The avionics short out and the pilot is killed. Snakes pour out of the ceiling and attack, eventually breaching a make shift wall of carry on luggage. The lights short out and the air stops circulating. And, the snakes keep on coming. Good stuff, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Sure to be remembered as one of this summer's surprise blockbusters and soon-to-be DVD favourites, absolutely check out this intentionally hilarious, grim and goofy shocker on the big screen for the full experience.

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The Secret Life of Words
REVIEWED 09/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Politely forced into a month-long holiday from her monotonous factory job in Ireland, stoic deaf loner and Ukrainian War refugee Hanna (Sarah Polley; 'Dawn of the Dead' (2004), 'Beowulf & Grendel' (2005)) soon volunteers her former nursing experience to tend the debilitating burn wounds of ex-patriot American off shore oil rig worker Josef (Tim Robbins; 'The Shawshank Redemption' (1994), 'War of the Worlds' (2005)) after a deadly accident on that isolated North Sea drilling station leaves him blind and bedridden in the infirmary next door to Hanna's temporary new lodgings, in this oftentimes haunting yet demanding English language big screen character sketch from Spanish writer/director Isabel Coixet ('Cosas que nunca te dije' (1996), 'My Life Without Me' (2003)), where Josef's incorrigible irreverence and the residual clues of his torrid adulterous affair unwittingly begin to overwhelm the stern regiment of Hanna's habitual emotional distance five years after escaping her own horrifying experiences. 'La vida secreta de las palabras' (its homegrown title) is predominantly such a delicately esoteric 2005 film about debilitating unspoken regret, that it's sometimes tough to appreciate that Coixet purposely wants a paying audience to read between the lines of her carefully tempered screenplay. That's both a blessing and a curse for ticket holders, frankly. It doesn't quite require you to gulp down a handful of psychic pills beforehand, but the methodical pacing at which bits of information about these deeply sensitive characters' real and residual torments definitely does feel achingly slow. Many scenes seen early on don't really make any sense until later, either during the last few surprisingly candid moments that Hanna spends with Josef, or throughout what transpires after he's fully recuperated and she has seemingly slipped back into her punch clock routine. In fact, the first half of this hundred and nineteen-minute movie could easily be considered one long establishing motif. Yes, some of the dialogue truly is insightfully exquisite and wonderfully presented.

This is probably the most memorably impressive work of Polley's adult career so far, and Robbins is absolutely phenomenal performing much of his fully realized role ostensively from the neck up. Words become his arms and legs, their tone and inflection become his body language. Awesome. However, 'The Secret Life of Words' does have its major flaws. The strange narrative by an unseen child's voice that book ends this picture is likely the most notably grating and unnecessary of Coixet's choices here. Smaller scenes also seem to be missing. For instance, while Hanna secretly and repeatedly listens to Josef's lover's phone message to him in her room, I wanted to see that inspire a quiet curiosity in her about him that cinematographer Jean-Claude Larrieu's lens simply overlooks in the final cut. Every potentially intense expression is summarily defused for no obvious reason. As well, there's a weirdly selective absence of helpful props, such as when Hanna silently phones her Copenhagen-based psychological counselor Inge (played by Julie Christie; 'Doctor Zhivago' (1965), 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' (2004)). You see the unopened letters from her neatly stacked at Hanna's door, but nothing tells you who Inge is, until a series of circumstances puts Josef in her Denmark office a few moments before the closing credits roll. Clearly, the script is carefully constructed, but its execution has a tendency to be bewilderingly inaccessible if you walk into this screening without knowing anything about it. I felt slightly robbed, because the deeper layers of Hanna's story are kept hidden until it's pretty well too late to have empathy in real time for this broken ghost of a woman attempting to heal another. As though two viewings are essential, where the first arms you with enough clues to give the second viewing appropriate meaning. 'The Secret Life of Words' is still a good small picture for the most part, though.

Rent this one for the oftentimes astoundingly captivating, subdued performances by Polley and Robbins, but it's sure to be a demanding film for some, seeming to aimlessly wallow and meander until enough secrets are finally revealed at the end.

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School for Scoundrels
REVIEWED 10/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown after being unceremoniously relieved of his badge, uniform and standard issue sneakers on the job as well as being dumped as a volunteer Big Brother for the third time, miserably meek Manhattan District 240 Parking Bureau Officer Roger Waddell (Jon Heder; 'Napoleon Dynamite' (2004), 'The Benchwarmers' (2006)) takes the advice of his friend Ian (David Cross; 'Men in Black' (1997), 'She's the Man' (2006)) and joins bluntly antagonizing Dennis "Dr. P" Sherman's (Billy Bob Thornton; 'Armageddon' (1998), 'Bad Santa' (2003)) five thousand dollar class on how to stop being a hopeless wimp, in this surprisingly clever yet comedically bland effort from co-writer/director Todd Phillips ('Road Trip' (2000), 'Starsky & Hutch' (2004)) that's reportedly a remake of 'School for Scoundrels or How to Win Without Actually Cheating!' (1960) starring famed gap-toothed fop Terry-Thomas (1911-1990) and Edinburgh-born comic legend Alastair Sim (1900-1976) - itself apparently adapted from English satirist Stephen Potter's (1900-1969) series of wryly perverse novels that included Lifemanship (1950), One-Upmanship (1952), and Supermanship (1958) published after his twenty-nine episode BBC program of equally irreverent instructionals - where, here, hesitantly confident Roger's awkward romantic win with his kind hearted ex-patriot Australian neighbour Amanda Richards (Brisbane's Jacinda Barrett; 'Urban Legends: Final Cut' (2000), 'The Last Kiss' (2006)) drives Dr. P's nasty competitive streak towards seducing Amanda for himself. Quite frankly, much of this hundred-minute feature feels a lot like a twisted retooling of 'Hitch' (2005). In that respect, 'School for Scoundrels' is an enjoyable enough examination of how Roger evolves from being a painfully shy nerd who hyper ventilates and faints under stress into becoming a reasonably self assured young man finding the intestinal fortitude to stand up for himself opposite his rather serpentine mentor's wonderfully relentless tricks and lies.

It's well cast, even though Thornton essentially combines a revisit to his co-starring part in 'The Ice Harvest' (2005) with a more sober version of his role in 'Bad News Bears' (2005). There aren't a lot of surprises, except for Heder's mild success of finally playing a character that doesn't immediately remind a paying audience of his breakthrough performance in 'Napoleon Dynamite'. While it's fairly clear that pretty well anyone could have done what Heder does, Phillips' and co-writer Scot Armstrong's screenplay deftly allows you to see Roger's almost miraculous transformation in a clever story arc that continually tests his blossoming resolve to beat Dr. P for the hand of Amanda. The dialogue is pretty good, and holds together best during the classes where Waddell and others learn the worst dating tips ever. They seem loosely torn from old 'Saturday Night Live' TV skits featuring Jon Lovitz, with an emphasis on no-longer being the nice guy who finishes last, by lying through your teeth and being a narcissistic jerk. Along with Barrett, supporting players Matt Walsh ('Old School' (2003), 'Starsky & Hutch' (2004)), Horatio Sanz ('Boat Trip' (2002), 'Rebound' (2005)), Todd Louiso ('High Fidelity' (2000), 'Snakes on a Plane' (2006)), Sarah Silverman ('The School of Rock' (2003), 'Rent' (2005)) and Michael Clarke Duncan ('The Whole Nine Yards' (2000), 'The Island' (2005)) also pull in notably good work throughout. However, the major problem with this flick is that it isn't nearly as funny as it could have been. To be more precise, it's barely funny at all. The basic structure is well constructed, but the vast majority of the humour seems overwhelmingly tired and predictable from beginning to closing credits. And, since it's being lauded as a comedy, it fails miserably. It's as though 'School for Scoundrels' was initially intended to be more of a dramatic effort loosely sprinkled with funny moments, but then someone felt obligated to attempt turning it into a farce along the lines of the far superior 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' (1988) or the abysmally childish remake of 'The Ladykillers' (2004), without bothering to write some intelligent jokes and fresh physical laughs to complement such a comparably smart battle of wits. The comedy flounders in its soggy bag of horribly flat gags and lame sophomoric scenarios, merely deflating this picture's entire impact as a potentially satisfying piece of thoughtfully mature entertainment. I suspect the Brits would have done a better job of remaking their original flick, since the type of humour required here definitely feel like the typically low brow American style of showing multiple groin hits and lazily pulling goofy faces to illicit mindless guffaws. It doesn't work within the scheme of what's presented here.

I hate panning this one, because the story and the dramatic work from this cast are memorably good throughout, but 'School to Scoundrels' ends up desperately tearing itself apart with unnecessarily unfunny slapstick comedy that ultimately makes it a disappointing turkey for anyone old enough to legally see it.

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Stormbreaker
REVIEWED 06/03, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Given no alternative but to follow in the daring footsteps of his murdered MI-6 covert operative Uncle Ian (Ewan McGregor; 'Trainspotting' (1996), 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' (2005)), orphaned and unwittingly agile London school teen Alex Rider (debuting Alex Pettyfer) is first sent to boot camp and then quickly given his first gadget accessorized secret mission, in this fairly predictable and relentlessly silly big screen adaptation from director Geoffrey Sax ('White Noise' (2005)) of Brit children's writer Anthony Horowitz's 2000 novel that has so far reportedly been followed by five additional books in his Alex Rider action series, where Alex must race against time and evade being targeted by Russian assassin Yassen Gregorovich (Damian Lewis; 'Dreamcatcher' (2003), 'An Unfinished Life' (2005)) here while attempting to stop the deadly scheme behind enigmatic American high tech mogul Darrius Sayle's (Mickey Rourke; 'Nine 1/2 Weeks' (1986), 'Sin City' (2005)) generous donation of new virtual reality computers to every Middle School in England.

Remember the short-lived Saturday Morning U.S. television cartoon, 'James Bond Jr.' (1991-1992)? Well, 'Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker' (its complete North American title) is pretty well a sporadically campy live action retooling of that show for a new generation of spy hungry kids, ineffectively renaming all of the borrowed James Bond characters - such as its lame 'Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery' (1997) inspired spoof of glum killer Rosa Klebb from 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' (1969) with Missi Pyle's ('Galaxy Quest' (1999), 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' (2005)) ridiculous face contorting Nadia Vole - while adding a couple of familiar old U.K. TV stereotypes to the mix. Bill Nighy's ('Underworld' (2003), 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' (2005)) horribly wooden depiction of MI-6 Director Alan Blunt kept reminding me of the Commander from 'Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons' (1967-1968) or an aged and eccentric 'Joe 90' (1968-1969), for instance. This is one of those screenings where a paying audience could have more fun picking out what movies each scene is swiped from, rather than the movie itself being fun to watch on its own merits. Quite frankly, despite this ninety-three minute disappointment obviously appearing now in order to cash in on the much anticipated, up coming release of 'Casino Royale', the main problem is that Horowitz's screenplay evades even the remotest opportunities for originality. Everything is copied from something else that you've likely seen done much better many times before. Even 'Spymate' (2005) was comparably clever and reasonably playful about rehashing recognizable aspects from the genre, and that kids flick starred a chimpanzee. Of course, I realize that the intended audience of minors too old for 'The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D' (2005) but, too young for 'xXx: State of the Union' (2005) probably won't care about what has come beforehand, but Sax seems completely ambivalent about what type of movie 'Stormbreaker' (its homegrown U.K. title) is supposed to be.

When the script tries to be funny, it fails miserably. When it attempts to be serious, it falls apart because the characters aren't fleshed out enough. Beyond the numerous trivial references primarily made to all things Bond, the story itself is vapid and clunky, never focusing enough on what ever happens to develop it into something compelling. It's all visual shorthand, with vacuous dialogue tossed in for the sake of having people say things that don't really matter to the over-all pacing. The acting is consistently horrendous throughout, even though most of this cast is made up of otherwise proven talent that ends up resembling an amateurish Pantomime troupe here. If they had all played it straight, the final cut definitely would have been satisfying. As an example of its unintended goofiness, Lewis' awful Russian accent sounds like he picked it up in Loch Ness. To his credit, Pettyfer clearly does try to bring personality to his starring role, but he isn't really given much to work with and is quickly turned into a human finger puppet that's dragged along by a lazily cobbled plot. All that's left to possibly hold your interest are the continually erupting bouts of mayhem and violence, but even these feel entirely contrived and patronizing. You're expected to sleuth along with Rider as he picks up clues to what's really going on, but there's nothing to figure out that demands any brain power, to the point where he may as well be biking and fighting and scurrying through a rogues gallery of oafish villains in pursuit of the last box of cereal on a supermarket shelf. This is like watching a prolonged commercial that looks good, but is fairly forgettable soon afterwards. There's no tangible feeling of impending doom - even though there's a hidden biological weapon set to annihilate millions if the mission fails - mainly because most of what impedes Rider's route towards saving the day seems rather unchallenging and somewhat intellectually insulting to viewers of any age.

'Stormbreaker' starts off well enough, but quickly sabotages its potential and ends up becoming an unimaginatively wobbly cheese sculpture of almost every James Bond moment worth renting the originals for instead.

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Saw 3
REVIEWED 10/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Increasingly virulent and inoperable brain cancer slowly eats away at the few remaining hours of diabolically altruistic game playing for John "Jigsaw" Kramer (Tobin Bell; 'The Quick and the Dead' (1995), 'Saw' (2004)) within his hidden sanctuary of life support equipment and deadly contraptions, as his doting protegé and brutally reformed junkie Amanda (Shawnee Smith; 'Breakfast of Champions' (1999), 'The Island' (2005)) kidnaps and booby traps unorthodox local surgeon Lynn (Bahar Soomekh; 'Crash' (2004), 'Mission: Impossible III' (2006)) to keep Jigsaw alive at all costs while Jeff (Glasgow's Angus Macfadyen; 'Braveheart' (1995), 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood' (2002)), yet another potential victim, faces a ghoulish maze of choices towards either personal salvation or severe evisceration, in this disastrously boring and lazily exploitative second sequel from director Darren Lynn Bousman ('Saw II' (2005)) that pretty well picks up where the second one ended, where Amanda slowly tilts towards murderous jealousy over Jigsaw's reliance on Lynn's surgical skills and you get to sit through a whole pile of gruesome flashbacks that hopefully signal the end of this franchise. Please let this be the last 'Saw' movie. Clearly screenwriter Leigh Whannell wants this to be the last one, because nothing else explains why the otherwise exceptional original idea of a madman brutally forcing his victims to change their self destructive ways or lose their lives could possibly end up becoming what predominantly transpires in 'Saw 3'.

The first sequel almost got it right, rising to the challenge of more fully fleshing out the mindless gore fest of the original and giving a paying audience a strong story to follow along with. Unfortunately, it seems that nobody involved with this latest, hundred and seven-minute turkey was paying attention. They saw blood and decided to add more blood. They heard people yelling and screaming, so they hired some new actors to yell and scream a lot. And, when that wasn't enough, instead of going back and rewriting the script, Bousman and crew either revisited previous scenes or apparently scrounged through the outtakes from the last installments and blindly chucked them all in with a little full frontal female nudity for no apparent reason. This isn't a carefully executed shocker, it's a desperately bad Mulligan Stew. Sure, many of the torture devices shown here are wonderfully nasty, with the best one being an arcane, hefty-looking spring loaded vest that's hooked into a person's rib cage. The key to unlock it slowly erodes in a jar of acid dangled within bare reach of the victim. However, even that potentially heart pounding scene is ultimately ruined for diehard Horror fans by inconceivably lousy film editing and lack luster special effects. The story itself primarily takes place in one room, where Bell pretty well lays stretched out and plugged in on an operating table like a sallow slab of hamburger waiting to be chopped up, grunting his lines with as much forcefulness as a wet noodle. Bell is a good actor, but the studio really should have hired a wet noodle to star in this one. A vicious wet noodle terrorizing dry noodles to get in the pot of boiling water or be killed by various noodle crushing machines probably would have been more entertaining than what actually transpires in the final cut here. You see Smith crazily skulking around - sometimes wearing a boar's head mask and sometimes not - without her providing any visible motivation for you to care about Amanda's nutty girlish angst. yawn. Macfadyen definitely tries to bring something captivating to the screen, as a man whose life is simultaneously overwhelmed with grief over the loss of his young son and outrage over the justice system's leniency in the trial against the boy's accidental killer. That aspect doesn't work within the context of this feature, because there's not enough of that peripheral story to easily justify his character being led through a maze of dimly lit hallways and slamming doors as a kind of Karmic judge and jury against those involved. It's a mess, and not in a good way.

Save yourself the futility of wasting your time and money on this lame and forgettable stinker.

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Stranger Than Fiction
REVIEWED 11/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Lonely veteran IRS agent Harold Crick (Will Ferrell; 'Zoolander' (2001), 'Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby' (2006)) slowly realizes that the voice in his head that has suddenly begun eloquently narrating his uneventful life and awkward interest in tax evading baker Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal; 'Secretary' (2002), 'World Trade Center' (2006)) isn't the result of him losing his mind, and soon enlists the help of campus professor and literary junkie Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman; 'The Graduate' (1967), 'Meet the Fockers' (2004)) to figure out who the voice belongs to and what that might entail, in this oftentimes clever and amusing low key comedy from director Marc Forster ('Finding Neverland' (2004), 'Stay' (2005)), in which writing assistant Penny Escher (Queen Latifah; 'Sphere' (1998), 'Last Holiday' (2006)) is hired by Banneker Press publishing to help its famed English novelist Kay Eiffel (Emma Thompson; 'Howards End' (1992), 'Nanny McPhee' (2005)) overcome writer's block in order to finish her manuscript about the imminent demise of her upcoming book's main character: Harold Crick. After thoroughly enjoying this hundred and thirteen-minute, intellectually humourous feature, I kept feeling as though the basic premise of writer Zach Helm's screenplay borrows aspects from the small independent pictures 'The Singing Detective' (2003) and 'Northfork' (2003), where the line between reality and prose is swept aside in order to allow imaginary characters to interact with their creators in the real world. 'NeverEnding Story II' (1990) and 'Cool World' (1992) are other examples, without being sidelined by Greek mythology.

In 'Stranger than Fiction' however, you're never quite sure if Crick is completely the product of Eiffel's imagination unwittingly come to life and fully integrated into the real world, or if his real existence has somehow been abruptly possessed overnight simply because he bares a striking resemblance to the protagonist in Kay's new book. Either way, it's an interesting existential concept that's thoroughly poked fun at here. It does have its flaws, though. The entire premise involving Harold's wrist watch somehow being sentient like something out of a Douglas Addams book is fairly contrived, and surprisingly leads to a lazily unconvincing turn of events later on. Also, Harold too readily accepts the completely bizarre notion that he's a character in someone's novel that is narrated play by play in his head, despite him being presented as an inherently logical person. Ferrell's uncharacteristically calm performance is consistently captivating - particularly during some truly impressive dramatic scenes while playing opposite Gyllenhaal - but his role's motivations seem trite at times. It's a deep thought subject, but this over-all worthwhile movie isn't particularly indepth. Crick's impending death doesn't seem nearly as daunting to a paying audience as it probably should be, because Eiffel isn't really presented here as an evil person who delights in murder with a few key strokes of her typewriter. She sees it as a fiction writer's harmless hurdle. Full marks also go to Thompson, clearly having a blast portraying a slightly obsessive compulsive hermit who eventually comes to the horrifying realization that her solitary actions do more than entertain readers. There aren't any memorably huge laughs, but the dialogue throughout is marvelously fresh and wryly light hearted. Good stuff.

Definitely check out this thoroughly enjoyable comedy that does tend to overtly skirt the fringes of the macabre, but still manages to offer up a fascinating story featuring this great cast of talent.

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Shut Up and Sing
REVIEWED 11/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

At the height of their popularity as the best selling female Country Music group of all time, contemporary party tune twangers the Dixie Chicks' 2003 world tour to promote their album Top of the World is quickly marred by controversy over lead singer Natalie Maines' March 10th on-stage comment, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas," in London, England just ten days before American and Allied invasion forces return to war in Iraq, starting off co-directors Barbara Kopple and Cecilia Peck's insightful and captivatingly home spun behind-the-scenes documentary about how that seemingly innocuous quip heard around the world both personally and professionally affected this close knit trio for three years, before facing residual unease and radio censorship in launching their current world tour to promote the far more mature-sounding album Taking the Long Way. It's tough to ignore any skeptical feelings about this ninety-three minute feature simply being an extended piece of promotional advertising cobbled together in order to side step mainstream media and reach Dixie Chicks fans at the movies, particularly considering this band - probably best known to moviegoers for their catchy tune Ready to Run from 'Runaway Bride' (1999) - was in concert here in Ottawa on the opening night of 'Death of a President' (2006). I actually enjoy the irony of that last part, but it's somewhat suspicious that you see footage of the initial incident as though it was completely normal for this band to have a documentary crew following them around without explanation.

I did appreciate the chance to screen 'Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing' (its complete title) in order to see their opinions about the seemingly relentless polarizing storm that threatened to destroy these three talented musicians. Whether you're a fan or not, what this film does is give a paying audience the opportunity to watch how Maines and founding sisters Emily Robison and Martie Maguire cope with the fallout. Yes, Kopple and Peck do seem selective at times with what is shown, and it's strange that they choose not to interview musical peers and media historians in the same manner as some radio reps and those from the Dixie Chicks small circle are. I kept expecting a music critic to relate John Lennon's notorious "We're bigger than Jesus Christ" and that backlash, especially when you see listeners encouraged to trash the Chicks' records in the exact same manner as The Beatles' were decades ago. However, probably the best aspect of this picture is that the Dixie Chicks aren't offered up as champions of free speech fighting a noble cause against insurmountable odds - beyond it borrowing this group's rather martyr-like 2003 Entertainment Weekly magazine cover image for the basis of its movie poster. At first, they're bewildered by what happens after the Associated Press picks up on the review of their London concert printed in The Guardian that cites Maines' comment, before they ride the emotional turmoil of trying to figure out what to say and do about the oftentimes hurtful and ridiculously overblown criticism. Chilled regret and resentment soon follow. Check out their faces, when rising to the concert stage at home in Dallas months later, soon after they're sent a death threat that's taken seriously. That entire time was probably the dumbest thing to ever happen to them, but it also made them reach their potential as far better song writers and performers than before. You hear in the lyrics. The emotions are real. Electrifying. That's what makes 'Shut Up and Sing' so memorably impressive, even if I still don't care who Toby Keith is.

It's unlikely that I'll be rushing out to buy any of the Dixie Chicks' albums anytime soon, but this adult-oriented documentary is definitely well worth checking out with a pinch of salt for the moments when it's a lot more than simply an ad for a much maligned band now back on the chart topping comeback trail.

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Salaam E Ishq
REVIEWED 02/07, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Adoring yet heartbroken television news editor Ashutosh (John Abraham; 'Dhoom' (2004), 'Water' (2005)) patiently encourages his amnesia-stricken wife and former on-air journalist Tehzeeb (Vidya Balan; 'Lage Raho Munnabhai' (2006), 'Guru' (2007)) to remember their two-year marriage after a horrifying train accident, while oafishly romantic Delhi cabbie Raju (Govinda; 'Haseena Maan Jaayegi' (1999), 'Jodi No.1' (2001)) puts his unrequited desires aside to help jilted Torontonian Stephanie (Shannon Esrechowitz; 'I Dreamed of Africa' (2000), 'Number 10' (2006)) reach her stoic ex-boyfriend Rohit (Kushaal Paunjabi; 'Kaal' (2005)) before an Indian bride replaces her, in this delightfully captivating subtitled Bollywood montage of six loosely intersecting love stories from director Nikhil Advani ('Kal Ho Naa Ho' (2003)), where aspiring "item girl" movie starlet Kkamini's (Priyanka Chopra; 'Waqt: The Race Against Time' (2005), 'Don' (2006)) romantic publicity stunt with charismatic stranger Rahul (Salman Khan; 'Kyon Ki' (2005), 'Baabul' (2006)) to turn her scandalized image unto super stardom becomes more than her heart bargained for, and bored London corporate man Vinay (Anil Kapoor; 'Bewafaa' (2005), 'Darna Zaroori Hai' (2006)) is distracted from his fifteen-year marriage to loyal wife Seema (Juhi Chawla; 'Dosti: Friends Forever' (2005), 'Waris Shah: Ishq Daa Waaris' (2006)) when sultry young dancer Anjali (Anjana Sukhani; 'Hum Dum' (2005), 'Jaana: Let's Fall in Love' (2006)) breezes into his life.

Holy cripes, this is such an enormously entertaining feature from beginning to closing credits. Running a whopping two hundred and sixteen minutes, 'Salaam E Ishq: A Tribute to Love' (its complete title) truly offers a paying audience a smorgasbord of wonderfully superior moments that are fully realized by this stellar ensemble cast. In fact, because it's really comprised of half a dozen thoughtfully constructed scenarios, you're never given the chance to feel as though you have to wait for anything to happen. A lot happens here, and it's all perfectly well worth the price of admission. I love how the fantasy elements spill into this already robust picture's realities at exactly the right times. It almost feels unfair to single out each actor for their specifically inspired contribution to this feature, because everyone clearly and deliberately pushes their already proven talent far beyond expectation. The performances from Khan, Abraham, Kapoor and Govinda are strikingly mesmerizing. At the same time, not only is it electrifying to finally see Chopra in a starring role that completely showcases her obvious versatility in comedy and drama as a notable contender, but it's a breath of fresh of air to find a contemporary South Asian film that soundly delivers a wealth of strong female characters working alongside their extremely impressive male counterparts. Balan's virtually dual efforts are incredible, and Esrechowitz effortlessly brings a modern Western touch that naturally fits against her character's unfamiliar surroundings. Advani and writers Suresh Nair and Saurabh Shukla shun the idea of people as pretty human props and lazy stereotypes, making this effort extremely satisfying and believable enough to keep you actively interested in what transpires. Awesome. Even the slightly minor story involving frenetic carefree bachelor Shiven's (Akshaye Khanna; 'Mohabbat' (1997), 'Hulchul' (2004)) childish fear of serious matrimony to weary fiancé Gia (Ayesha Takia; 'Taarzan: The Wonder Car' (2004), 'Shaadi No. 1' (2005)), and that of hilariously goofy accident prone newlyweds determined to cuddle at risk to life and limb, offer equally and memorably bright instances throughout. Khanna brilliantly steals the spotlight when ever he's on-screen. There's also something astounding about cinematographer Piyush Shah's deftly imaginative style of capturing the oftentimes subtle yet powerful emotions that drive each moment here, pulling you further into this movie as more than a mere spectator sitting in the dark munching popcorn for three and a half hours.

I'd read that 'Salaam E Ishq' was inspired by the great Brit romance film 'Love Actually' (2003), but this one truly is a superior Bollywood effort in its own right that's absolutely a must-see, family friendly crowd pleaser for fans or anyone who's interested in seeing the undeniably best release from India so far this year.

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