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Master of Disguise It's like when somebody's telling a dull joke to a captive audience using a corny accent while making quirky gestures with their face and arms, just to get them to laugh. The joke-teller knows the joke isn't particularly funny, so they try to embellish it in the hopes that you'll at least laugh at them acting like an idiot. Doing dramatic pratfalls. Crossing their eyes and sticking their tongue out. Jamming a lampshade on their head, dropping their trousers, and dancing spasmodically on the dinner table. Lame. Did I mention that I paid to see this overpaid twit jerk around as though he was on a mega-sugar rush for ninety minutes, telling several unfunny jokes? Fart jokes. Big butt jokes. Slap in the face jokes. Ethnic jokes. None of which were funny. Frankly, the comatose tell jokes that have better punchlines. In fact, this big screen dud
is so incredibly anti-funny that I'm not going to bother telling
you any more specifics about the story. You knowing this much
might be enough to stunt your unborn children. Instead, I'm going
to strongly suggest that you avoid this one like a West Nile
mosquito. Ignore the ads. Run away. Don't rent or borrow or even
rescue this film off the street thinking you've just found something
worth watching. It won't be. Simply put, 'Master of Disguise'
is very likely the cinematic chalk outline of Dana Carvey's comedic
career. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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My Big Fat Greek Wedding The only problem that I had was with the title. It's somewhat of a turn off for at least half of those who'd potentially get a lot of enjoyment out of what transpires on the big screen, but who will likely never go see it due to the 'chick flick'-like title. I almost didn't bother with it, solely because of the title. Fact is, the title doesn't really acknowledge that most of what you see has nothing at all to do with weddings. Greek Orthodox, or otherwise. That part is just the feel good pay-off at the end. It's really about being embarassed by your conspicuously strange relatives, and putting up with them anyways. It's about finding happiness, on a path riddled with well-meaning lunacy. And, as you learn, it's about the miracle of Windex. 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' is
an outrageously quirky, delightfully romantic offering that had
me laughing out loud more often than anything else dished up
that I've seen so far this year. There are so many wildy funny
scenes in this irreverant romp that could very easily be applied
to any family of any nationality, that this aspect really doesn't
get in the way of connecting (or empathizing) with any of the
humour. The cast of caricatures are all played with such wonderful
enthusiasm, that you can't help but find them and their weird
idiocincracies magically endearing. If you've wanted to see a
side-splitting screwball comedy wrapped around a completely satisfying
love story, this is definitely the one you've been waiting for.
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My Wife is an Actress That is, until a series of pointed questions from his pregnant sister's rather inconsiderate former suitor regarding Charlotte convincingly kissing her hunky leading men and repeatedly baring all for the camera plants a poisonous seed of insecure suspicion in Yvan's brain. A neurotic jealousy then blossoms within him, when he makes a surprise visit to the movie set on the day of his better half's sex scene with her notorious British co-star (John, played by Terence Stamp) - only to find that everyone in the production crew is also naked, because of an off-the-cuff remark an uneasy Charlotte had made during an earlier arguement with her director. Sending Yvan back to France in a delirious huff, convinced that all actors are wackos, and so confused about his wife's profession that he secretly joins a local theatre troupe to find out what the heck's going on inside these thespian's heads. Which, as he soon discovers, makes matters a whole lot more complicated for him - and his already strained marriage. What you get here is a mildly
entertaining yet slightly disappointing story sparingly peppered
with very few instances of outrageous humour throughout. It could
have been a much funnier romp, frankly. Writer/Director/Star
Attal does do a nice enough job of pacing the realistic aspects
of the main plot between his frazzled character and that of Gainsboroug's
(his real-life leading lady), but doesn't really manage to lift
his script to the potential level of total hilarious mayhem it
deserves. Choosing instead to err on the side of deflative moderation,
noisy filler and charming sap, almost as if this indie-like labour
of love is afraid to be outright funny. Let's hope Harold Ramis
decides to spearhead a remake. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Men in Black 2 The first movie was fresh and quirky and hilariously clever, mainly because K and J kept things in perspective as the audience was introduced to this exotic hodge-podge of trans-planetary relations on Earth. The comic book based characters were funny and real enough for us to care about them and their adventure. It had a good story, with the comedy relief and gadgets thrown in to enhance the plot. This second one gets sidetracked by the same comedy relief and gadgets we've seen before, and seems to take for granted that there's nothing really new in the way of a story for the audience to hook in to - except for a few twists on the same special effects, similar bad guys wearing different prosthetic masks, and a handful of cheesy in-joke references to the original movie - as we watch these obviously bored sapiens and spacefolk sleepwalk through each inherantly familiar scene. Even the tiny love interest subplot in 'M.I.B. II' is clumsily thrown away. This is why the 'Ghostbusters' sequels never surpassed their original's Saturday morning cartoon adaptation. In fact, while I was watching scenes such as a monstrously ghoulish worm eating a fleeing New York subway train in 'M.I.B. II', I had momentary flashbacks of those 'Ghostbusters' bombs. You know a Sci-Fi comedy has
failed miserably on the big screen when the funniest scenes are
a cameo by Micheal Jackson, the phrase "Can't move, too
scared", and Wil Smith trying to wriggle out of a pile of
big plastic tubing. The first 'M.I.B' is still better. Even the
cartoon is probably better. The producers of this half-baked
rip-off should have just re-released the first one, and mailed
the millions spent on their disappointing pastiche to me, c/o
Uranus. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Minority Report Tom Cruise's character, chief of the Capitol's pre-crime experiment, falls victim to this shining five-year marriage of clairvoyance and computers when he is accused of committing cold blooded murder days before the actual event. Sending him underground. Relentlessly pursued by his own department. Relying on any scrap of evidence that will not only prove his innocence, but stop a murder, and inevitably dredge up a terrible secret that can no-longer remain buried. This is an incredible movie. Based on a novel by the same name from the prolofic and disturbed mind of the late Phillip K. Dick. This is a powerful crime drama. Full of cleverly plotted twists and turns, and cranked to the max with nail-biting action. This is fantastic science fiction. Loaded from start to finish with eye-popping special effects that will leave you spellbound. Argueably, Spielberg transcends the marvel of 'Blade Runner', Ridley Scott's now-classic dark wet interpretation of Dick's slightly weak 'Do Electric Sheep Dream' vision of the future, in that his sci-fi who(will)dunit puts humanity even more at the forefront in a world overrun by the mechanised redundancy of Mankind. I have seen the future. I will
go see it again, with popcorn. And, hope that it's only a movie
and not the shape of things to come. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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A Mighty Wind Coaxed out of retirement by the death of aged Folktown label record producer Irving Steinbloom (loosely fashioned after John Lomax, the guy who actually discovered Leadbelly in prison), Alan (Christopher Guest), Jerry (Michael McKean) and Mark (Harry Shearer) return with their Burl Ives-like song list as The Folksmen for a memorial concert hastily slated in two weeks at the Town Hall in Midtown Manhattan. They're not alone, though. The New Main Street Singers - who released thirty albums in ten years, before their first incarnation, and are still full of peppy vim in their squeaky-clean blue vests and well-manicured hairstyles at the Glenwood Gardens Amusement Park in Tallahassee, Florida - are primed and ready to lend their commercially polished 'neuftet' sound to this celebration to be aired live on Public Television. Conversely, the third group approached by Steinbloom's grieving and rather neurotic son Jonathan (Bob Balaban) is the lovably flaky Hippie-like duo, Mitch and Mickey - whose 1966 on-air kiss while performing their only hit single captivated the Nation. Thirty-seven years later, Mickey (Catherine O'Hara) is eager to relive those misty watercoloured memories singing and playing her dulcimer in front of a two-thousand seat audience again. However, Mitch (Eugene Levy) still hasn't quite recovered from his self-destructive solo career during the 1970's or his subsequent mental breakdown at the Cherry Hill Psychiatric Hospital, which are both quickly apparent when he appears at Mickey's doorstep after a sixteen hour bus ride from his heavily sedated absentia. Rife with hilariously deadpan
mock interviews and some brilliantly goofy 'behind the scenes'
footage, this flick is definitely well worth checking out. Sure,
eventhough there are similarities to Rob Reiner's enormously
popular spoof documentary 'This is Spinal Tap' (1984), it's a
completely different movie comprising an ensemble cast of comedic
ad-lib talent. Two of my favourite hams on the screen are easily
Jane Lynch's wonderfully cheeky ex-adult film actress turned
chirpy singer by day/colour vibrancy worshipper by night Laurie
Bohner, and Jennifer Coolidge's outrageously vacuous public relations
agency rep and Ivana-esque shmooze-tress Amber Cole - whose line
about model trains still cracks me up. There are a few corny
jokes sprinkled throughout that tend to slightly flatten the
momentum, but you soon find yourself laughing out loud at this
lighthearted romp of quirky idiosyncrasies and dopey human errors
spun together by an impressively convincing repertoire of original
songs. Even if you can't stand Folk music as a genre, keep in
mind that this one's actually about the fabulously created pastiche
of irreverent bygone stereotypes enthusiastically played full
tilt for kicks and giggles. Good stuff. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Matrix 2 What a load of ridiculous junk.
With all of the hype and money ($100 million worth of special
effects, which bankrupted several animation companies along the
way) and special pre-movie teasers, I really should have known
ahead of time that this incredibly boring and disjointed sequel
couldn't possibly live up to the first one. Sure, you get some
of the same astounding camera effects that nobody else has been
able to repeat, and a whack of heavily choreographed fight scenes
that build to a feverish pitch more than once - with a couple
of them running for at least ten minutes on-screen, and one or
two that actually aren't laughable. The downside is, there ain't
no real sense of continuity, absolutely no reason to care what
happens, nor (a la 'Lord of the Rings') does it have any ending!
Plus, Fishburne's so way over the top in his righteous postulating
that I wanted to jump up and smack him around with my bag of
stale popcorn more than once, just so the wispy turtle of a story
could get off it's lazy butt and lurch forward a notch. Plainly
and simply, no-matter who tells you differently, 'Matrix Reloaded'
is not the least bit worth getting a speeding ticket or a theatre
ticket to see. Trust me on this one, folks. Wait a couple of
months and rent it along with the first one, watch both in the
comfort of your home, and pray the third one's remotely better.
Awful. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Man Without a Past Well, there are certainly a lot
of empty spaces and long silent pauses in this sub-titled, predominantly
deadpan, 2002 comedy from Finnish writer/director Aki Kaurismäki
('Leningrad Cowboys Go America' (1989)). As though there's something
intrinsically human that's lost in the translation and never
ceases to keep you outside of this overwhelmingly depressive
and loping picture. Sure, there are a few sparks of soft quirky
humour here, such as Nieminin's 'vicious male' guard dog Hannibal
(a part that won the 'Palm Dog' Award from the London Evening
Standard at Cannes, for the best animal role, along with an Oscar
nomination for Best Foreign Language Film) turning out to be
a completely domesticated female snuggle puppy. However, the
storyline doesn't start to get interesting until about two-thirds
in, after Jaako encourages the Sally Ann band to broaden their
repertoire and start doing gigs at the smoky, mausoleum-like
local community centre, and his friendship with that fairly captivating
crook from the bank sends him on a simple journey of redemption.
Maybe life in Finland is actually like this, with everyone locked
in silent torture with one foot already in the grave, but the
pervasive moroseness of all these characters sure does make it
tough to empathize enough to actually care what happens to them.
I read someplace -likely on the movie poster - that critics have
raved about this one, but I kept expecting the main cast to suddenly
join hands and gleefully hurl themselves into an on-coming train,
in this world where it seems suicide is probably the most popular
hobby per capita. So, I'd say keep clear of 'Mies vailla menneisyyttä'
('The Man Without a Past') if you're looking to be entertained
by a bright and lively script, because you won't find it here.
Too bad. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Magdalene Sisters Wow. This overwhelmingly powerful
2002 movie truly leaves nothing to the imagination as it depicts
these women's unthinkably degrading stories. Director/screenwriter
Peter Mullan immediately gives you a true sense of what these
real life characters must have endured, while his impressively
tight script virtually grabs you by the collar and drags you
along with them. You can't help but care about and feel for those
caught under the often malicious thumb of McEwan's wonderfully
tyrannical performance throughout. Along with the main cast,
full praise should also go to Eileen Walsh's role as the mentally
and sexually abused Crispina, who eventually snaps and lashes
out during one of many successfully emotion-charged scenes that
(in this case) has her repeatedly screaming "You are not
a man of God!" more than two dozen times. At another point,
when Margaret is standing outside the convent gate looking in,
I was sure that I heard the sound of the audience's collective
hearts breaking at her sad choice between fleeing or not. This
movie is unabashedly rough and gritty, forcing you to actually
pay attention to the atrocities wrongfully meted out against
these people by the ones who were supposed to be saving their
souls with kindness and purpose. Frankly, it's all part of a
cycle of corruption that history has shown was all too frequent
within the Catholic church around the world - not so much to
erroneously prove that the religion of Christianity is inherently
evil, but that unchecked authority and power given to the wrong
people hiding behind the cloak of righteousness has obviously
been a terrible mistake for all concerned. This otherwise important
flick does fail to point that out, but the fact remains that
what happened to tens of thousands of women in those convents
will continue to haunt the Irish populis and its clergy for generations.
And, what we're left with from 'The Magdalene Sisters' is a brutally
honest glimpse into the thankfully short amount of time that
a tiny fraction of victims endured and survived against insurmountable
cruelty towards their ultimate freedom. This controversial and
incredibly touching picture likely won't be everyone's cup of
tea, but if you're hungry for a captivatingly human story about
something that actually happened, I'd definitely recommend that
you check it out. Awesome. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Matchstick Men What a great movie. Not only
do you get an outstanding performance from Cage and crew, but
the story here is also chock full of truly captivating and sometimes
hilarious moments as the smart and clever script takes you along
for the ride. This is one of those wonderfully pieced together
flicks that lets you know everything a paying audience needs
in order to get caught up with the main roles and their underhanded
dealings, but also pulls everything together in such a completely
satisfying way that you can't help but laugh at the plot twist
your gut keeps telling you is in the works behind the scenes
here, where it would have easily failed under a fog of gut-wrenching
cliché if put in less capable hands. Director Ridley Scott
hits the mark, giving you a stylishly entertaining crime romp
with all the extra frills of brilliant character development
that run the gamut from deep introspection to hilarious comedy
throughout. Cage is a master at squeezing every drop out of his
dialogue, and deftly balances Waller's oddball contortions with
the sometimes-riveting personal growth that unfolds before our
eyes. You can't help but love to see him in action, using his
wits to rip off people, but you also want to see this basically
good guy find his way back to a decent life. Rockwell is also
perfectly cast, as the somewhat belligerently droll wise acre
who you know can't be trusted as far as you could throw him,
but you like him just the same. You can tell this picture was
a labour of love for all concerned, just from the energy that
comes off the screen, pulling you further in. Frankly, I wouldn't
be surprised to see this one on the short list come Oscar time,
since it really does deliver on all fronts where it counts. Definitely
check out 'Matchstick Men' as one of the most fully satisfying
offerings out of Hollywood so far this year. Awesome. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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The Matrix 3 Well, this one's certainly far
more entertaining than the first sequel to 'The Matrix' (1999)
that was released in theatres earlier this Summer, but it still
doesn't measure up to the fascinatingly captivating original
movie. Pretty well everything you might have loved about those
two predecessors is here in one form or another, from the outstanding
computer-aided bullet-riddled fight scenes to the hefty doses
of metaphysical bafflegab filtered through a religion-tinged
superhero comic book-like script. Actually, just as the first
flick was rife with anagrams and 'Alice Through the Looking Glass'
references, this final chapter contains quite a lot of religious
overtones throughout. Which I guess was inevitable, considering
Neo is supposed to be the people's saviour here. Good thing is,
the Wachowski Brothers writer/director duo mercifully do cut
back on the amount of relentless and borderline boring hand to
hand combat and rave fluff that pretty well ruined their last
offering for me. However, what really gets in the way of this
being a much more intellectually enjoyable flick than it is,
is that the story quickly loses steam and takes the lazy way
out in wrapping up as many loose ends as possible. So, if you
remember the whole premise of the first one being the freeing
of all humanity: Those grown by the machines to become organic
batteries in an ashen world without any other means for electric
power, this ending will likely send you out into the streets
scratching your head afterwards, wondering what the heck happened.
Sure, 'Revolutions' is a great-looking feast for the eyes from
beginning to end - even though it apparently starts exactly where
the comparably computer game-like 'Reloaded' ended, and relies
heavily on the audience either renting that one or having a good
enough long-term memory for detail before seeing this one - but
it's unfortunately more of a 'turn off your brain and enjoy'
kind of picture than something that nurtures the legacy of what
is already a cinematic sci-fi benchmark of the last Century.
Check it out for the awesome visuals set to a trippy soundtrack,
but don't expect much in the way of exceptional acting or real
depth. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Master and Commander Holy cripes, what a thoroughly
engrossing epic. Taken from the pages of renowned bygone war-at-sea
fictionalist Patrick O'Brian's (1914-2000) series of popular
novels, this wonderfully captivating and beautifully detailed
adventure packs so much into its two hour and eighteen minutes
of screen time that you feel as though you've known these characters
for ages and feel like a flabby wimp for not signing up to serve
alongside them. The utter hardship these men go through is all
there, from the tediously endless days of open sea exposure navigating
through sometimes gut-churning choppy waves just to get from
Point A to Point B, to the horrifyingly frantic and gritty reality
of wooden ship to wooden ship combat before either boarding or
being boarded to do battle up close with swords and pistols drawn.
It certainly isn't a romantic look at early 19th Century seamanship
by any means, but Crowe and Bettany - reunited after working
together in the astounding 'A Beautiful Mind' (2001) - and the
entire supporting cast fill out their roles with such believable
conviction, that you're quickly thrown into their world without
question. Writer/director Peter Weir's immensely satisfying screenplay
goes to great pains to make these men real and all of their stories
and subplots intriguing, against a backdrop of historic seafaring
war that cleverly serves to crank up their sense of doom or glory
to maximum capacity for a paying audience. From the grunts and
their sometimes ignorant superstitions leading to near mutiny,
to the boy officer demonstrating incredible dignity and strength
after losing half his arm to a simple fracture that nothing can
be done about except amputation, to the multi-faceted indelible
mark of loyalty and honourable friendship between Aubrey and
Maturin, I can't say enough great things about this extremely
powerful movie. Frankly, it would be a terrible shame if a sequel
wasn't already in post-production, because they have at least
eighteen more of O'Brian's books to bring us and a winning cast
that's sure to carry on the lasting cinematic legacy that this
incredible oceanic adventure has already begun. Do yourself a
huge favour and check out this picture for one of the best high
seas action/dramas that have hit theatres in years. Awesome.
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My Life Without Me Well, I was vaguely hopeful going
in that this English-language Spanish/Canadian flick would in
some way put a quirky spin on the rather morose subject matter
of young death. Unfortunately, this one's pretty much a sluggishly
depressing tearjerker where every adult seems locked in a state
of sad emotional repression. The acting and dialogue throughout
isn't too bad, but there's such a wealth of agonizingly long
pauses and faraway glances over-dubbed with fairly self-indulgent
narratives citing the futility of modern life, that I found myself
wondering why this movie needed to be made at all. Sure, the
context makes for an interesting personal examination of what
this fictional young woman must be going through during her final
days and weeks of life, but everything is so heavily down-played
with grey contrived commiserations from the supporting players,
that it's as though writer/director Isabel Coixet was trying
to tap reality in a way where this probably would have been a
far better and more thoroughly captivating film if she had simply
chosen to scrap her script and cast of actors in favour of shooting
a proper documentary about somebody actually going through what
Polley portrays here. It has that kind of National Film Board
flavour to it already, and did win First Prize from the Guild
of German Art House Cinemas earlier this year. Unsurprisingly.
However, the main problem I had with this dour cinematic offering
was that nothing really happens with any impact, plot-wise. Ann's
affair isn't particularly passionate or tumultuous. Her annoyance
at her mother's constant poisonous whining never peaks with an
expected transference of anger over her own predicament. Nor
does she follow through with the sort of devil-may-care attitude
suggested in her handwritten list, that showed the potential
for some entertaining asides that the audience could have empathized
and laughed along with as a breather. All in all, 'My Life Without
Me' is a marginally interesting story as a humanist teleplay,
but I wouldn't recommend it if you're feeling hopelessly gloomy
and looking for something to cheer you up. There were probably
few dry eyes in the theatre when the ending credits rolled, but
I found it tediously boring for the most part. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Missing Frankly, I really had high hopes
for this Ron Howard oater based on novelist Thomas Eidson's 1999,
three hundred and seventy-six paged 'The Last Ride'. Unfortunately,
it was as though the director became far too sidetracked with
the production value of an action-packed Western adventure about
halfway through, and forgot about the entirely captivating 'small
picture' dynamic between Blanchett's and Jones' characters. They're
where the real story is here. Her raw simmering wounds since
childhood, watching her brother and mother die without dignity,
and carrying this repressed pain with her until it all surfaces
and splinters with seeing Samuel again. His tortured confusion
and self-loathing as he tries to give them both some sense of
reconnection and closure, before it's too late. Them both wrestling
within this emotional quagmire, while being forced to spend time
together on this rescue. That's the guts of this movie. However,
we instead get thrown a bunch of gross aboriginal sorcery and
fairly wooden caricature bad guys spittin' and slingin' rifles
on horseback, confusing gun battles that go nowhere, and somewhat
ridiculous dangers that obstruct a paying audience's focus from
all of the enormously more interesting stuff that probably ended
up on the cutting room floor. Sitting through what's left, I
kept thinking about how Howard was able to create such an incredibly
riveting human drama with little more than three guys stuck in
the bowels of a damaged spacecraft in 'Apollo 13' (1995), and
wondered just what the heck happened with this latest flick.
Sure, there are some great scenes and wonderful talent that bob
in onscreen here and there - plus the now-humourous obligatory
cameo by brother Rance Howard that's become a given - but it's
hardly in the same league. 'The Missing' actually becomes a teeth-gratingly
boring episode quite quickly and unmercifully never really gets
back on track until just before the closing credits. That's definitely
a puzzle to this fan. Check it out for some pretty good acting
from Jones and newcomer Boyd, but really only if there's nothing
new at the rental store. Terribly disappointing. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Mona Lisa Smile The controversy was obvious afterwards,
but it was probably brewing during the making of this fairly
light-hearted and fluffy dramatic comedy, because it truly did
feel heavily watered down throughout. With most of the indoor
campus scenes shot primarily at Columbia and Yale University,
this flick still doesn't show the faculty and 'hoop racing' debutante-like
students of circa 1950's Wellesley College - also scholastic
home to the likes of former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright
(1959) and former First Lady now US Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
(1969), successful screenwriter Nora Ephron (1962) and veteran
journalist Diane Sawyer (1967) - in the best of lights. Alumnae
President Diana Chapman Walsh (1966) cites distortions and damage
and Time magazine's review of 'Mona Lisa Smile' beginning with
the rhetorical question, "Can a college sue a movie for
libel?" in her recent letter found on the college's website,
along with one by the movie's producers run in USA Today that
has been posted there - both attempting to calm any hard feelings
on either side - but there frankly really wasn't any need to
make such a big deal. 'Mona Lisa Smile' isn't that great an offering
to begin with, despite its star-studded cast. It's not particularly
about this specific private school for women anyways, merely
using it as a backdrop during a time when women were beginning
to openly realize their full potential as complete people within
the incessant restraints of societal norms in America and elsewhere.
Wellesley College began as, was, and likely still is an unconventional
vanguard anyways, in reality. Where this dismal feel-good fantasy
desperately fails is that either director Mike Newell or Lawrence
Konner's and Mark Rosenthal's script couldn't decide just who
actually stars as having the more important story here. So, you
end up sitting through a mish mash of sweet bohemian Julia Roberts'
silk-handed culture shock head butting for attention against
Dunst and gangs' individual silver spoon sorority-tinged trials
and tribulations, free of any real acting or interest, all wrapped
up in a polite red bow for the majority of its almost two hour
screening. No-where near as captivating as 'To Sir, With Love'
(1967) or even 'Dangerous Minds' (1995), even though the basic
similarities are there. Unfortunately (depending on how you look
at it), if you've seen the ads for this one, you've seen 'Mona
Lisa Smile'. Boring and hardly worth the attention afforded it,
the price of admission, or your time. Disappointing. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Mystic River I almost want to say this star-studded
Cannes-winning adaptation of Dennis Lehane's 416-page 2001 noir
novel is an astounding masterpiece. Director Clint Eastwood immediately
sets an underlying tone of uneasiness from the beginning, and
patiently lets it build to an almost claustrophobic pitch during
the course of its slightly over two hour screen time. And, all
of the stars definitely do pull out all the stops in giving a
paying audience some truly wonderful performances here. Problem
is, the pacing is surprisingly slow and the final pay-off is
astoundingly disappointing. Sure, it's pretty much a foregone
conclusion what's going to happen to Boyle once Markum gets his
hands on him someplace dark and secluded - regardless of whether
or not he's innocent - and that relentless feeling of dread powerfully
sustains this incredibly depressing movie throughout. So does
Robbins' brilliant downward spiral into the abyss, while you
sit there trying to judge him as the evidence mounts on both
sides. All of these characters are flawed, and weighed down by
the burden of their failures. The atmosphere that Eastwood and
Brian Helgeland's screenplay fully create here is wonderfully
dim and brooding and haunted. There is no redemption for the
majority of these people. This murder is like a broken cotter
pin that sends an already fragile yet lumbering piece of heavy
machinery into slow irreversible destruction, with all of its
components being dented or shattered in the process. Nothing
will survive untouched. And, that's where this picture fails
as a satisfying offering. It drags you down with it, without
giving you anything to hope for or to tap into as a much-needed
breather from this toppling house of cards that seems to be everyone's
brittle sanity here. Maybe it just plays too close to reality,
focusing too heavily on the affects of violence and how it victimizes
more than just the person who's targeted, but I did find myself
sitting there in the dark wishing that even the smallest of light-hearted
diversions had been thrown into this murky grey mix. If only
to prevent the advent of mass suicides breaking out outside the
theatre, once the last credits roll and moviegoers have gotten
into their cars. Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain that big
screen entertainment should try to avoid such things. So, although
I almost want to say that 'Mystic River' is an astonishing masterpiece,
the profound acting and compelling waves of bleak depression
leading to a somewhat anti-climactic ending just weren't enough
for me to push it to that level of praise. It's definitely a
good movie worth checking out, but make sure you've had a good
day before you do. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Monster This one was definitely a tough
movie to sit through. Not necessarily because these characters
- including Theron, who must be the only actress in the history
of Hollywood to be praised by the industry and the media for
gaining thirty to forty pounds - aren't particularly sympathetic.
I vaguely remember the hugely hyped case, and the real Aileen
Carol Wuornos (who went by several aliases and was adopted shortly
after capture, by elderly born-again Christians) and her actual
lover-turned-witness for the prosecution Tyria Moore didn't appear
to be fairly lovable people at the time. Sitting in the theatre
watching writer/director Patty Jenkins' version of this fact-based
slice of life crime drama, it was difficult ignoring the gnawing
feeling that a lot of the actual story had been left out here.
Sure, 'Monster' does contain flashbacks and overdubbed wry narratives
of Wuornos' degrading life, and it plays out at a pretty good
click without wasting any time before those unsuspecting horny
johns start getting pumped full of rage-fuelled lead. The problem
is, no-where during this almost two hour screening is a paying
audience given any clear reason to care about what's happening
to whomever. The peripheral players' lives are inconsequential
and you're not really invited into Lee's fractured mindset to
fully understand why these murders need to happen. On any level.
I took a wild guess in my synopsis, not wanting to just rubberstamp
her as crazy. And, I suspect that's the fault of the screenplay,
which seemed to rely too heavily on Theron's star power to keep
you captivated. It doesn't. There should have been more background,
or something to pull you in. For instance, in Marlee MacLeod's
thorough column featured on Court TV's Crime Library website
(http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/women/wuornos/1.html),
Wuornos served eighteen months of a three-year sentence in 1981
for holding up a supermarket at gunpoint, drunk and wearing only
a bikini. Why wasn't this wonderfully provocative event in the
movie? It should have been, along with several other incredibly
interesting things about this woman's life that would have made
'Monster' a far more superior offering than what we see in the
final cut. And, although Ricci is physically a good choice for
her role, her clumsy brand of soullessly unrefined acting quickly
leaves you cold and bored during her scenes. All in all, despite
the one or two artfully shot moments that must have gotten through
by accident, this multi-award winning flick feels more like a
badly edited after school special than a seriously completed
motion picture. Disappointing. home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Man on Fire Wow. At first, I couldn't quite
figure out why the pacing for this movie, retooled from prolific
crime mystery author A.J. Quinnell's 1980 novel first featuring
this complex mercenary character, seemed to take forever. That
is, until I quickly realized that director Tony Scott wasn't
interested in this remake of the 1987 cinematic version merely
becoming yet another live-action cartoon full of cardboard caricatures
all furiously gnashing their teeth to a trippy beat behind a
white hot arsenal of pyrotechnic bullet-spraying rage, for a
first night audience of blood-thirsty teenagers with fake i.d.'s.
'Man on Fire' is an indisputably raw and intensely gory revenge
flick, but it's also an incredibly methodical detective story
that's capably wrapped around the thoroughly captivating development
of this main character. Creasy is a killing machine, yet he's
a likable flawed human being marvelously fleshed out in pretty
well all directions by Washington here. You can see why this
little girl - impressively played by Fanning - honestly likes
him. You get to understand and like this introvert, throughout
the course of this two hour and forty-seven minute screening,
because there's an easily accessible truth to how he handles
himself. Frankly, very few leading actors could do better at
presenting such a broad palette of emotions with such awesome
presence and stamina. What renowned screenwriter Brian Helgeland's
script does is masterfully walk you through this world of impending
treachery as an outsider in Creasy's shadow, while brilliantly
opening him up for us through the eyes of Peta. The first half
of this picture is purely driven by those two coinciding stories
of discovery while these unlikely friends connect as a surrogate
family unto themselves. Sure, this effort does stray from the
sort of Hell's wrath shortcuts seen in the ads, but it's an important
and (I'd suggest) often neglected aspect of these types of films
where a paying audience is supposed to care what happens to the
starring bad man while he blows away legions of bad men, relying
heavily on how much we like the performer playing the guy pulling
the trigger or detonating the explosives. This outstanding release
takes none of that for granted. Washington is John Creasy, father
figure and protector of Peta, by the time she's torn from her
family and he believably steps into the role of avenging archangel
during the second half. Definitely check out this astounding
achievement for the amazing main characters, awesome camerawork
by Paul Cameron and breath taking editing by Christian Wagner,
and an incredibly moving ending that's bound to stay with you
long after leaving the theatre. I mean, wow! home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Main Hoon Na Haunted by reports of former
choreographer and Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Kahn's on-set
illness, this hugely westernized and subtitled crime/musical/comedy/drama
marks his fledgling production company's big screen debut. 'Main
Hoon Na' - which apparently means 'I will be there for you' in
Hindi - is obviously influenced by John Woo, as well as the movies
'Grease' (1978), 'First Blood' (1982) and 'The Matrix' (1999),
yet it still remains faithful to its structural roots in contemporary
Indian Cinema. Often playfully mixing cultures while attempting
to push this medium in a new direction. One of the boisterously
contagious dance numbers, where college prom night features gorgeous
women in traditional saris refreshingly bopping and singing along
to a Rockabilly-like tune, easily comes to mind here. While the
main story does tend to slightly suffer from a script that tries
to pack a lot of campy character-driven plot and rip-roaring
thrills into its almost three hour runtime (plus intermission),
this flick's fairly capable pacing does manage to keep a paying
audience reasonably interested throughout. Sure, most of the
primary roles are somewhat familiar caricatures burdened by simplistic
dialogue and affected gesturing, but it does work within this
cinematic universe for the most part. And, despite Shahrukh giving
us a better performance in 'Chalte Chalte' (2002), this immensely
talented onscreen powerhouse still delivers with awesome tenacity.
Of course, director Farah Khan filling the cast with Rao's and
Kahn's vaguely green yet wonderfully enthusiastic natural presence,
cleverly peppering this tale with hilariously self-effacing asides
by a host of supporting players, and capping it all off with
some of the most enjoyably original fantasy sequences spurred
on by Sen's undeniable jaw-dropping grace and beauty, this ambitious
offering is definitely well worth the price of admission for
fans of this genre. Also impressive is the camerawork and digitally
enhanced editing used for most of the decidedly violent pyrotechnic
action, that I suspect lift production values to daring new levels
for East Asian studios and their international peers. This inordinately
long movie isn't exactly wholesome family entertainment, but
it still manages to be a satisfying fun romp worth checking out.
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Mean Girls home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Monsieur Ibrahim home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Metallica: Some Kind of Monster home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Manchurian Candidate home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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The Mother home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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Maria Full of Grace home: http://www.moviequips.ca | index: http://www.moviequips.ca/#QUIPSOGRAPHY |
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