Hustle & Flow
REVIEWED 07/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

From the moment that he touched the small plastic keyboard of that Casio traded for a quarter bag, DJay (Terrence Dashon Howard) couldn't stop thinking about it. How his life had come to this. Selling weed like a punk kid hustler. Pimping out his blonde girl Nola (Taryn Manning) from the front seat of his Chevy on these sultry Memphis back streets while his other girl, Lexus (Paula Jai Parker), made him a few more dollars grinding herself into strangers at the Showgirl strip club. Shug (Taraji P. Henson), his third girl, had to quit turning tricks until she's done being pregnant and useless in his dilapidated house. He used to actually be a deejay, spinning Dance and Rap at a legitimate job back in the day. Back when the world still owed him something and was ready to hand it over with a smile. "You ain't never gonna be nothin' more than what you are right now... my chauffeur," Lexus sneers at him. Fanning the fire in his belly even further. Letting those first few electronic notes ripple their stark beat into his bones. Exploding in a raw flurry of words and verses that DJay fights to jot down in his notepad while they're still fresh and untempered in his mind. He can't stop it. He doesn't want to stop this tormented urge to make his music again that threatens to unhinge this pitiful life he's stuck under. It's like God suddenly took notice of him. Nobody gets it except his old friend Key (Anthony Anderson). Key - now going by his real name, Clyde - followed his dream of being a recording producer, ending up capturing Gospel music at his church and barely making ends meet. He understands. Clyde has a sneaking suspicion that D Jay is playing him, but those words are poetic truth and need to be laid down. Shelby (DJ Qualls), a vending machine stocker and pianist at Clyde's church also gets it. He may be white but, as Clyde tells D Jay, he's just light skinned. The three of them hurry to set up a makeshift studio so that D Jay can make his music about the brutal life on the streets that he's endured by his own making. There's no time to waste, because successful millionaire artist Skinny Black (Ludacris) is coming home on the Fourth of July, and D Jay needs to make sure his demo tapes are ready. However, his renewed partnership is straining Clyde's marriage, and this cheap equipment they're using is undermining every effort to sound professional. Desperation takes over and something's got to give soon.

Holy cripes. This absolutely astounding cinematic masterpiece from writer/director Craig Brewer ('The Poor and Hungry' (2000)) is as close to the marrow of raw intensity as has likely ever been seen on the big screen in many years - if ever. The script rips into you straight from the opening scene and continues relentlessly to roll you around in its smorgasbord of unfettered jagged emotions until the closing credits. Quite frankly, it's better than awesome. It's off the scale. Every aspect of this hundred and sixteen-minute treasure is sheer perfection. Finally, music lovers and moviegoers are given the extremely rare opportunity to realistically feel as though you're actually witnessing the birth of a truly invigorating piece of music as depicted in a film about, well, making music at ground level. Scott Bomar's soundtrack is phenomenal - even more so, if you enjoy the particularly blunt and cuss saturated, hard edged genre of Rap featured here. It's scary, thrilling, ugly and hypnotic all in the same breath, and Brewer deftly captures every note with deliberate brilliance. Plus, you get an incredibly captivating story about this Memphis low life going by the monicker D Jay desperately attempting to turn around his dead end life as a volatile pimp through a fragile reclamation of his former musical abilities that exponentially consumes him like an addiction. Howard seamlessly immerses himself into the role, naturally interpreting and articulating this otherwise completely unlikable character in such a way that a paying audience can't help but root for his success. One of the best parts about that is in how it's shown that he simply can't do it on his own, and has no alternative but to change his entire parasitic mindset and begin relying on others - including those who he'd previously lorded over and mistreated. As with his music, watching D Jay's transformation truly is astounding. Powerful. 'Hustle & Flow' also features a wonderful cast of top notch co-stars, which includes Taryn Manning ('White Oleander' (2002), 'A Lot Like Love' (2005)) as prostitute turned "primary investor" Nola, Anthony Anderson ('Romeo Must Die' (2000), 'Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London' (2004)) portraying old pal and perfectionist producer on a shoestring Clyde a.k.a. Key, DJ Qualls ('Road Trip' (2000), 'The Core' (2003)) as wunderkind percussionist Shelby, and Taraji P. Henson ('Baby Boy' (2001)) playing D Jay's very pregnant housebound hooker and unassuming back up vocalist Shug. Each one these roles could have easily had an entire movie made about them individually. All of them feel real and completely believable throughout. The writing, and their acting, are both that superb. Nothing is watered down. Yes, the MPAA has slapped an R rating on this superior must-see gem, primarily for its sexual and drug related content, and the pervasive bad language that does become specifically annoying fairly quickly, but there really isn't any other contemporary way of telling everything that needs to be told here in as honest a way as Brewer has presented. This Sundance winner is one of those very few pictures that you'll probably come out afterwards wanting to convince everyone you know that they need to see. And, you'd be right. Definitely do yourself an incredibly fulfilling favour and check out this perfect example of high calibre movie making intended for mature ticket holders looking for clear signs of genius from Hollywood.

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A History of Violence
REVIEWED 10/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Adapted from John Wagner's and Vince Locke's 1997 graphic novel published by DC Comics' Paradox Press, this measurably wonderful slice of duality gone wrong from acclaimed Toronto director David Cronenberg ('The Dead Zone' (1983), 'Naked Lunch' (1991)) pits happily married small town Millbrook, Indiana diner owner Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen; 'G.I. Jane' (1997), 'Hidalgo' (2004)) against big time Philadelphia Gangland lieutenant Carl Fogarty (Ed Harris; 'The Abyss' (1989), 'Radio' (2003)), after a couple of Fogarty's reckless thugs are killed during a brutal robbery that ends up piquing media interest and drawing Tom's entire identity into question. It was actually shot in Ontario.

What makes 'A History of Violence' so incredibly intriguing is that it's not another rip-roaring shoot 'em up from beginning to closing credits. Not everyone depicted is a stereotype, and there's a strong presence of grey ambivalence that almost becomes a tangible force as each turn changes the main figures trapped in their downward spirals. Sure, it does have a slight air of 'Unforgiven' (1992) to it, but not enough to make the entire movie seem like a transplanted Western. You're encouraged to care about what happens, by being given reasons to like Tom and his clan - even after the truth is admitted. It's actually a fairly slow-paced, character-driven flick of long, almost mundane stretches for the most part, but then mercilessly jolts a paying audience and this cast into a traumatized state with its few brief and carefully placed moments of intensely saturated extreme violence when needed. That methodically realized balance squeezed out of Josh Olson's screenplay truly making this enjoyable ninety-six minute picture all the more powerful. Awesome. Mortensen, and Maria Bello ('Payback' (1999), 'Assault on Precinct 13' (2005)) as Tom's increasingly disoriented wife Edie, are absolutely incredible here, playing off of each other in some of the most believable scenes from Hollywood seen in a while, as well as individually electrifying while fleshing out their characters against each emotionally numbing body blow that attacks their quiet family life.

Full marks also go to Harris, Ashton Holmes ('Raising Hell' (2003)) as the Stall's sensitive but mouthy teenaged son Jack, and William Hurt ('The Accidental Tourist' (1988), 'The Village' (2004)) as Fogarty's ruthless boss Ritchie Cusack. The only downside to 'A History of Violence' is the ultimate question that remains unanswered just before the closing credits roll, but Cronenberg movies are notorious for being left open to interpretation beyond the rough chalk outlines of the worlds he's created, so it's not too much of a surprising annoyance this time out. Absolutely check out this slightly demanding and decidedly mature-oriented thriller for this stunning cast of talent and as a hugely entertaining example of superior storytelling.

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Harry Potter 4
REVIEWED 11/05, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

The Quidditch World Cup had been a happy day of excitement for Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) and his friends Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) and Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) that had suddenly ended in horrifying disaster. Death Eaters, shadowy followers of Lord Voldemort, had left that carnival fairground destroyed by fire and fear. Potter's nightmares were also worsening, tormenting him with visions of Voldemort's gathering strength and ultimate resurrection through fiendish machinations. That cruel residual air of unrest only serves to further grip Hogwart's School after the Azkaban incident of last year, when the Ministry of Magic decides to hold the pan-scholastic Triwizard Tournament there, bringing students from Beauxbaton and Durmstrang to compete against Hogwart's chosen champion for the crystalline trophy. It isn't any real surprise when dashing young Cedric Diggory's (Robert Pattinson) name is plucked from the Goblet of Fire's shimmering blue flame by Headmaster Dumbledore (Michael Gambon). Cedric at least has a fighting chance against what ever dangers the tournament holds in store for all three contestants. However, when Potter's name is also chosen, suspicions of cheating and an underlying feeling that Harry aches for attention taints his already fragile standing amongst his peers and with the faculty. He isn't even eligible, but is allowed to compete as a fourth entry anyway. Even Ron is tired of seeing Harry always being the one in the spotlight, ending their friendship with harsh words that stung more powerfully than any incantation learned in class. Campus bully Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) isn't helping either, despite any attempt by their new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody (Brendan Gleeson) to shield Harry and help him prepare for the daunting tasks that lay ahead. However, a different kind of magic seems to be beguiling Hermione during their fourth year of studies, with the prospect of Durmstrang's famed Quidditch celebrity Viktor Krum (Stanislav Ianevski) showing an interest in her above all others. This also upsets Ron, who's becoming increasingly impossible to cope with.

Adapted from writer J.K. Rowling's fourth, 2000 instalment in her massively popular fantasy series launch in 1998 about young Brit wizard-in-training Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe; 'The Tailor of Panama' (2001), 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' (2007)) at Hogwart's School, 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' (its full title) is both a wonderfully rollicking adventure and a slightly disappointing sequel. The special effects are absolutely stunning throughout, with the dragon scene during Harry's first of three tests in the death-defying Triwizard Tournament that he's been unwittingly entered into - despite Harry's ineligibility at only fourteen years old - being this flick's most rewarding aspect. Of course, many familiar characters from 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001), 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' (2002), and 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban' (2004) make their reoccurring appearances here. Ancient Headmaster Albus Dumbledore (Michael Gambon), Dark Arts Professor Severus Snape (Alan Rickman), giant Groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) and matronly teacher Minerva McGonagall (Maggie Smith) are somewhat placed in the background as Potter, his friends Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), and a few of their class mates and visiting scholastic peers are brought to the forefront as budding teenagers rapt in this new, far darker competition tainted by the mystery involving Lucius Malfoy (Jason Isaacs) and the enigmatic Death Eaters' further attempts to resurrect the infamously malevolent Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). The disappointment comes whenever this hundred and fifty-four minute effort sporadically takes for granted that you already know a lot of the background story and don't need to be reminded about who is who and what is what. Director Mike Newell ('Donnie Brasco' (1997), 'Mona Lisa Smile' (2003)) misses the mark there. For instance, moviegoers won't have a clue that Sirius Black (voiced by Gary Oldman) is more than just a helpful face in the shadows, unless the last picture is sat through before checking out this one. Quite frankly, there's really not much about Radcliffe's starring role that makes his character particularly captivating beyond what folkloric weirdness and vague teen angst gets tossed at him, if this is your first big screen introduction. It's the more captivating supporting players, such as curmudgeonly new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody (Brendan Gleeson; 'Braveheart; (1995), 'Kingdom of Heaven' (2005)) and the Weasley twins Fred and George (James and Oliver Phelps), who tantalize your interest in what might happen during moments that aren't heavily enhanced by CGI magic. The original book was a whopping seven hundred and thirty four pages - over four hundred pages more than Rowling's inaugural hard cover - and I'd read that there were early plans to split 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' into two films released in theatres months apart. So, although this feature does suffer lags in momentum, only true fans will see where the screenplay pared down a few chapters in order to cram most of it in. I did feel as though more effort could have been focussed on fleshing out the complex aspects of Potter and his pals slowly coming of age as more than lazy grist for awkwardly humourous adolescent innuendo. They're not children anymore, Peter Pan. It's still a fun and memorably entertaining confection for older kids and kids at heart who can handle this one's revisiting of intense mortality on a mature level, but contemporary fourteen year-old orphans with unimaginable supernatural powers probably have a lot more going on than what's afforded Harry on film this time around.

Definitely check it out if you enjoyed the previous cinematic instalments, but this series is beginning to run like 'Star Wars' (1977) and 'The Lord of the Rings' (2000), where you'll probably need to visit the rental store to catch up before going.

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Hostel
REVIEWED 01/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

The cab driver had jabbered at them in a language that only the locals could have understood, but one thing had been unmistakably obvious to American college grads Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson), as well as to their Icelandic travelling companion Oli (first timer Eythor Gudjonsson), during this spontaneous detour from their European vacation: That drive through the war torn Ukrainian countryside had felt like it would never end. In hindsight, staying in that car would have been preferable. Two days ago, these three care-free backpackers had partaken of some primo Amsterdam coffee shop weed and had partied in the Red Light District 'til the early hours. That was before their planned departure to the sun drenched bosom of Barcelona's hedonistic night life was set aside by a friendly enough stranger's promise of unbridled sex with the most gorgeous and willingest of this foreign continent's women. Paxton can still remember the glee in Josh's and Oli's eyes, as the train from Holland had carried them - and that strange old businessman (Jan Vlasák) who ate with his hands - to this remote, cobble stoned town of Poricany. Like eager kids in a candy store, none of them could wait until that slow taxi ride dropped them at the local hostel. The stranger had been right, their semi-private room was shared with two lovelies who had been very friendly. Maybe too friendly, now that Paxton thought about it. Even now, as the handcuffs' cold steel bites into his bruised wrists and trembling ankles in the echoing darkness of that dingy concrete chamber cursed by the unimaginable stench of cruel death, Paxton remembers. No escape. Dammit. Terror rips through his brain like a chainsaw. How stupid they had been. Their sexy brunette room mate Natalya (Barbara Nedeljakova) had chuckled about Josh's sudden disappearance earlier, saying he'd gone to an Art show. She'd called it an exhibit, held in this decrepit factory hunched on the edge of town, that she'd coldly lead him to. To a sight that no sane person could expect. He can still see that depraved old businessman standing there, like a vulture, poring over that horribly shredded husk of brutally tortured flesh and bone in the dim light. Paxton could hardly breathe, choking back his quivering guts. And now, barely able to move in that hard chair, Paxton can hear the hollow footsteps beyond his own cell's iron door, signalling that he is the next victim...

Reportedly inspired by an actual Thai website that offered obviously sick vacationers the pricey experience of torturing and murdering people, this soft porn-bloated gore fest from writer/director Eli Roth ('Cabin Fever' (2002)) predominantly exploits what are probably the two main obsessions of teenaged pariahs toying with aspirations of becoming serial killers: Sex and death. I can't remember the last time I've sat through so much self-indulgent and unsubstantiated nudity while watching a horror flick, but there's more to 'Hostel' than simultaneously titillating and boring a paying audience with legions of nubile European hotties before things go gruesomely wrong for young American tourists Paxton (Jay Hernandez; 'Torque' (2004), 'Friday Night Lights' (2004)) and Josh (Derek Richardson; 'Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd' (2003)), when their wild drugs and sex adventures in Amsterdam are steered to a remote Ukrainian city that promises more than they could have ever imagined. Imagine if 'Eurotrip' had been written by Rob Zombie. Once it eventually remembers why you bought a ticket to this ninety-five minuter, Roth's screenplay wonderfully slams into high gear as a delightfully horrifying slasher feature throughout the second half. Sure, I can see that the first half was primarily a plodding attempt at establishing these characters who become the film's unwittingly victimized protagonists, giving you a solid glimpse of their individual mind sets while their unabashed bout of globe trotting hedonism is slowly sidelined by a diabolical trap of masochistic terror. 'Hostel' simply takes too long in cutting to the chase, because you're there for the bloody mess to come and yet are expected to be patient. Hence the many naked boobies, probably. However, fans of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' (either version) and 'Saw' (2004) will be hugely satisfied long before the closing credits. I actually enjoyed this one, appreciating how the story meticulously turns into a psychological thriller as a far more clever example from this cult genre than has been seen in a while. You think you know what will happen, expecting it to lazily regurgitate the rather quaintly gooey template of 'Psycho' (1960) or 'House of Wax' (2005) - where stereotypical human morsels are systematically flung against sharp pointy objects that keep Hollywood's Department of Fake Blood and Guts in business - until you realize that the bowels of this particular slaughter house go much deeper. The disgustingly realistic special effects are amazing here, but Roth doesn't rely on them too heavily before shifting gears again and making 'Hostel' a gloriously brutal revenge picture that's clearly inspired by the work of its touted presenter, Quentin Tarantino. Yes, the acting is fairly simplistic throughout, and it's tough not to wince at the somewhat amateurish continuity at times, but bright moments featuring Hernandez, Jan Vlasák's performance as the creepy Dutch Businessman, and an impressive scene with Rick Hoffman ('Cellular' (2005)) absolutely compliment the script. Awesome.

Absolutely check out 'Hostel' for an immensely clever story that does take a while to shake off the pornography, but masterfully tickles the vicarious blood lust of this genre's diehard fans.

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Hoodwinked
REVIEWED 01/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Well, the premise is cute. This hugely hyped, full-length 3-D computer animated feature from co-writer/co-star/debuting director Cory Edwards takes the familiar children's fable Little Red Riding Hood that's normally attributed as Rotkäppchen (1812) by the Brothers Grimm but was reportedly first published in French author Charles Perrault's (1628-1703) famous book, Contes de ma Mère l'Oye (Tales of Mother Goose (1697)), as Le Petit Chaperon Rouge, and playfully extrudes it through the template of what feels a lot like a simplified variance of an Agatha Christie murder mystery - without the murder bit - for the amusement of its clearly intended contemporary audience of precocious tykes and the young at heart. The problem is, 'Hoodwinked' doesn't really work as anything more than an easily forgotten, flashy curiosity of false punch lines. The actual animation is fairly robotic as well, almost creepily reminiscent of the decades-old stop motion stuff more capably revived in 'The Corpse Bride' (2005). I've read that it's similar in structure to the classic Japanese film 'Rashômon' (1950), but I've never seen that one all the way through so I can't really comment. However, with the police investigation of a rash of recipe thefts - that's punctuated by Granny Pucket's (voiced by Glenn Close; 'Fatal Attraction' (1987), 'The Stepford Wives' (2004)) isolated woodland house becoming the converging point for her hood-wearing, cupcake delivering Granddaughter "Red" (Anne Hathaway; 'Ella Enchanted' (2004), 'Brokeback Mountain' (2005)), a hulking woodsman (James Belushi; 'Red Heat' (1988), 'Snow Dogs' (2002)) with a passion for yodelling, an obsessively curious and anthropomorphized Wolf (Patrick Warburton; 'Scream 3' (2003), 'Rebound' (2005)) and his chirpy squirrel sidekick Twitchy (Edwards) - taken over by an English accented, Hercule Poirot-like frog named Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers; 'Doc Hollywood' (1991), 'The Majestic' (2001)), it's likely that any comparisons to an acclaimed Kurosawa masterpiece are probably superficial and unnecessarily erudite.

It's a kid's flick that essentially panders to the lowest common denominator and that seems to revel in it. Too bad. This predominately lame, eighty-three minute romp through the enchanted forest simply tries too hard to be considered lovably zany as a sort of childish challenge to 'Shrek' (2001) by borrowing many of the same elements, surprisingly forgetting that even 'Shrek 2' (2004) failed to top that one by doing the same thing. Beyond the clever idea of retelling the somewhat gratuitously updated viewpoints of those four main suspects, there's not a whole lot here that isn't tantamount to waggling a sparkley length of yarn in front of a kitten hopped up on catnip. Unfortunately, the theatre kiosks here in the Land of Reality probably don't sell quite enough sugar saturated pre-show drugs - I mean, snacks - to make this tiresome cinematic shambles worth the price of admission for anyone born before, say, 1992. Sure, the hyper-chatty squirrel is fun during its first couple of scenes, but there are actually only two truly funny moments in this entire movie. One is where turtles flee at a panicked snail's pace, which you've likely already seen in the TV ads and trailers. The other, introducing a bizarre musical goat named Japeth (first timer Benjy Gaither), is fleeting and pretty much forgettable if you've seen the NFB short 'The Cat Came Back' (1988) or the must-see French flick 'The Triplets of Belleville' (2003).

'Hoodwinked' will undoubtedly be a hit with the video stores hungry for something colourfully frenetic enough to entice you to toss fistfuls of cash at their overpriced big screen plasma televisions, so you're probably better off waiting a couple of minutes and check it out in there instead.

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The Hills Have Eyes
REVIEWED 03/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

Co-writer/director Alexandre Aja ('Haute tension' (2003)) remakes the 1977 Wes Craven slasher classic that spawned at least one sequel - 'The Hills Have Eyes Part II' (1985) - where, this time out, irreparably stranded in isolation during their Silver Anniversary, cross-desert drive through New Mexico to San Diego, retired detective Bob Carter (Ted Levine; 'The Silence of the Lambs' (1991), 'Memoirs of a Geisha' (2005)), his wife Ethel (Kathleen Quinlan; 'American Graffiti' (1973), 'Apollo 13' (1995)) try to make the best of it with their kids Bobby (Dan Byrd; 'A Cinderella Story' (2004)) and Brenda (Television's 'Lost' co-star Emilie de Ravin; 'Brick' (2005)), and Lynne (Vinessa Shaw; 'Eyes Wide Shut' (1999), 'Melinda and Melinda' (2004)), Lynne's husband Doug (Aaron Stanford; 'X-Men 2' (2003), 'Spartan' (2004)) and newborn daughter, before eventually discovering the horrifying truth that they have been marked for tortured death by a loosely organized brood of mutated, blood thirsty psychopaths existing as remnants of the US Military's atmospheric nuclear bomb testing held from 1945 'til '62. It actually would be fairly easy to call this relentlessly bothersome live-action comic strip a complete waste of time and effort, mainly because the ad for it is a whole lot more intense looking than this hundred and seven-minute movie is. So, I will. I honestly wanted to like it, but this one's a desperately disappointing stinker from beginning to closing credits. Nothing really happens during the first half, other than the soundtrack and uncreatively bland lines of dialogue get louder. Where this gooey mess should be scary, Aja's and co-writer Grégory Levasseur's screenplay merely succeeds at being mildly, self-indulgently disgusting instead.

'The Hills Have Eyes' is completely bereft of any suspense, primarily because you're shown these flesh eating crazies too early and realize fairly quickly that none of them are particularly sharp. So, this new version simply becomes a relentlessly boring wait, while you sit through agonizingly drawn out scenes where the only people interested in what's going on are the ones being paid to act scared in this flick. It doesn't work. Yes, this surprisingly lazy homage to the original does slightly pick up steam after most of the body count is tallied and the lone pacifist in their midst starts kickin' some mutant butt. However, even those vaguely compelling moments dissolve into little more than becoming a match game between which ever killers have the biggest and pointiest thumpin' stick. By then, who cares? These are apparently mutated miners that the world forgot about, so how have they gone unnoticed and survived the past forty years? They live what's left of a ghost town built by government scientists to test the results of nuclear fallout on houses and mannequins, but these morbid humanoid hermits have television where no radio or cell phone signals can penetrate. How? They may as well be carnivorous sponge mops from Planet Y, because the specifics of their background are left so ineptly enigmatic. An entire range of opportunities to make this picture a truly satisfying Horror are completely shoved aside for no reason, other than (I guess) nobody involved had enough imagination to notice potentially great scenes of carnage and mayhem and spine tingling jolts lurking in the shadows of an otherwise dusty location setting full of prosthetic plastered human finger puppets. I actually recognized parts of the retooled story from a cheesy, twenty year-old television show that was just as forgettable.

This one's so bad that it deserves an equally groan inducing parting shot: 'The Hills Have Eyes' might have a few teeth, but it's definitely one brainless monstrosity that barely has a leg to stand on.

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Humko Deewana Kar Gaye
REVIEWED 04/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
www.ofrb.gov.on.ca | www.rcq.gouv.qc.ca


REVIEW:

In a somewhat familiar case of irresponsible love at first sight inspiring engaged South Asian Toyota salesman Aditya Malhotra (Akshay Kumar; 'Mr. Bond' (1992), 'Garam Masala' (2005)) to become smitten by betrothed Alberta-based professional shopper Jia Yashvardian (Katrina Kaif; 'Boom' (2003), 'Sarkar' (2005)) in Canada while Malhotra's celebrity fashion designer fiancé Sonia (Bipasha Basu; 'Ajnabee' (2001), 'No Entry' (2005)) and Yashvardian's industrial magnate hubby-to-be Karan Oberoi (Anil Kapoor; 'Mr. India' (1987), 'Bewafaa' (2005)) are otherwise preoccupied, this over-all fairly pedantic Bollywood effort from writer/director Raj Kanwar ('Jeet' (1996), 'Andaaz' (2003)) curiously tends to sabotage itself while attempting to put fresh faces to a tired story for the most part. The best aspects of this predominantly gruelling, hundred and fifty-five minute subtitled Masala definitely involve the natural screen presence of its otherwise capable cast, as well as the few brief moments when Kanwar's slightly disjointed screenplay focuses on the smaller nuances of this doomed romance. Kaif is astounding here. Softly mesmerizing chemistry wonderfully bubbles on the big screen between her and Kumar throughout, but 'Humko Deewana Kar Gaye' is allowed to become sidetracked too often by a series of ridiculously inconsequential peripheral stories that seem to exist primarily as quirky filler and little else. They don't fit.

Lazy plot holes and cheesy contrivances abound, too. There are also a number of strange technical flaws that continually jolt a paying audience for no justifiable reason, such as most of the Canadian voices having decidedly Australian accents, and with what appears to be loosely translated English subtitles having a tough time keeping up with or even appearing during crucial scenes. Additionally, it's measurably aggravating having to sit through what is essentially a contemporary dramatic musical that seems to have forgotten to hire a recognizably able choreographer for the song and dance numbers sprinkled throughout. Ad hoc Nineties-style bimbette wiggle posturing backing this flick's star robotically punching his arms in the air doesn't quite cut it anymore, especially considering that some of the soundtrack's tunes - which are apparently current homegrown chart toppers in India - are pretty impressive toe tappers. At the same time, this feature does present some wonderfully captivating storytelling whenever it veers back to and sticks with the main story for any tangible length of time. That's when Kanwar's script shakes off most of the silliness and this primary cast actually gets to realize the full potential of their characters' heartfelt emotional range. Kapoor easily steals the spotlight - vaguely saving this picture in the process - with his outstanding intensity, as Oberoi rages over Jai's overwhelming love for Aditya when the truth of this sweetly scandalous affair is revealed. Unfortunately, a paying audience has to sit through about an hour and half before anything dramatically interesting or fresh happens here. Sure, the romance itself is fun, but the only thing that really makes it fun is in how natural screen presence is heavily relied upon in order to avoid having this movie's structure and dialogue seem completely predictable.

Many of the small moments are notably entertaining, with Katrina Kaif and Anil Kapoor making the most of their appearances, but 'Humko Deewana Kar Gaye' is so desperately cobbled together and bloated with substandard movie making that it unfortunately fails to hold together as a consistently enjoyable screening.

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Hollywoodland
REVIEWED 09/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Suspicious rumours and unexplained clues surrounding the gruesome suicide of charismatic Hollywood actor turned typecast 'Adventures of Superman' television star George Reeves (Ben Affleck; 'Armageddon' (1998), 'Jersey Girl' (2004)) begin to monopolize the attention of spotlight seeking, freelance Los Angeles private detective Louis Simo (Adrien Brody; 'The Pianist' (2002), 'King Kong' (2005)) shortly after that June 1959 headline making death, in this potentially satisfying yet surprisingly tepid drama from feature debuting director Allen Coulter, where Simo's employment by Reeves' estranged mother Helen Bessolo (Lois Smith; 'East of Eden' (1955), 'Minority Report' (2002)) to more conspicuously dig for answers ends up uncovering a seamy affair involving Toni (Diane Lane; 'The Outsiders' (1983), 'Must Love Dogs' (2005)) - former Ziegfeld Follies showgirl and the wife of iron fisted MGM Vice President Edgar Joseph "Eddie" Mannix (Bob Hoskins; 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' (1988), 'Mrs Henderson Presents' (2005)) - arousing the rather blunt attention of Mannix's head of publicity and unofficial damage control task master, Howard Strickling (Joe Spano; 'Apollo 13' (1995), 'Hart's War' (2002)). This one certainly has an impressive cast to its credit, and it's consistently clear that everyone has definitely committed to embodying most of these roles taken and embellished upon from real life or merely fabricated. However, writer Paul Bernbaum's screenplay fails to strike enough of a balance between fleshing out those characters affected in some manner to Reeves' scandalous demise-by-gunshot, and this picture's apparent attempts to exploit prevailing conspiracy theories surrounding that untimely death without coming to any definitive conclusions. 'Hollywoodland' is basically the cinematic equivalent of a Barnum and Bailey side show attraction, glamourized with the right props and superficially fascinating, yet enormously disappointing if you're hoping to come away feeling any more informed. Its release so soon after that of 'Superman Returns' (2006) also seems somewhat opportunistic.

This hundred and twenty-six minute picture plods through its so-called investigation, continually interrupted by chronological flash backs featuring Lane's complex lover to Affleck's wonderfully eerie depiction of Reeves during his rise and fall, narrowly focusing with his stalled Tinsel town career after appearing in Oscar heavyweights 'Gone with the Wind' (1939) and 'So Proudly We Hail!' (1943) through to his enormous small screen Man of Steel stardom forcing his supporting role scene in 'From Here to Eternity' (1953) to be edited out for pulling attention away from its star. You see this happen here, with Affleck's Reeves seen opposite Burt Lancaster during a test screening, but nothing about the man himself is really ever revealed in a biographical way for a contemporary paying audience. Born George Keefer Brewer (1914-1959) in Woolstock, Iowa, Reeves was reportedly an amateur boxer and served in the U.S. Air Force during WWII, but you wouldn't know any of that from watching this movie, even though it partially explains a wrestling job mentioned later on in this effort. Most of the characters are based on real people, with Edgar Mannix (1891-1963), his adulterous wife Camille Bernice "Toni" Mannix nee Froomess (1906-1983), and Reeves' calculating fiancée Leonore Lemmon (1923-1990) - played here by Robin Tunney ('End of Days' (1999), 'Paparazzi' (2004)) - being the most notable supporting players, but Louis Simo and his family never existed. He's reportedly based on Marilyn Monroe: Murder Cover-Up (1982) conspiracy writer/L.A. private detective Milo Speriglio (1938-2000), who apparently worked the Reeves case at that time and went on to openly believe it wasn't a suicide. The resulting primary story of this flick seems to be that of Brody's character, taking you into the brittle aftermath of Simo's failed marriage and his tenuous connection to young son and grieving Superman fan Evan (first timer Zach Mills). It doesn't hold together, and inevitably leads to a curiously esoteric series of scenes that seem far too artsy for their own good. I realize what Coulter is attempting to leave you with, but because the script fails to tangibly beef up Brody's role earlier on in comparison to that of Affleck's unavoidably interesting contribution, there's no real reason to empathize with where Simo's path takes him before the closing credits roll. The movie doesn't even bother to draw an obvious comparison of his nosing around to what Superman might have done as Clark Kent. The story is agonizingly weak and only vaguely imaginative in relevant terms. You still want answers, despite knowing beforehand that lawsuit shy Hollywood isn't about to start pointing too sharp of an accusatory finger at itself or anyone else. This film doesn't deliver answers. It wants to resemble 'Chinatown' (1974) or 'L.A. Confidential' (1997) without doing much of anything other than raid the props and costumes department to earn it. Beyond some of the individual peripheral character studies that nicely breach the bounds of stock stereotypes, it also barely entertains - except for the pleasure of cinephiles ready to glean humour from a few esoteric quips, the funniest being when Reeves' agent Art Weissman (Jeffrey DeMunn; 'Frances' (1982), 'The Majestic' (2001)), when commenting on the new breed of Brando inspired actors, cites "the squinting and the mumbling". There are bright moments like that, but there really aren't enough of them to maintain a captivating momentum throughout.

Rent this expletive laced mature flick for Affleck's over-all impressive performance as George Reeves, but 'Hollywoodland' is so desperately devoid of insightful deduction and mired in poor writing that it's hardly worth checking out as the detective yarn it pretends to be.

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Half Nelson
REVIEWED 09/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Drug addled yet popular Brooklyn high school History teacher and Girl's basketball coach Dan Dunne's (Ryan Gosling; 'Remember the Titans' (2000), 'The Notebook' (2004)) life slowly drifts into a hazy downward spiral shortly after one of his students, precocious latch key kid Drey (feature debuting Shareeka Epps), unintentionally discovers Dan's addiction to crack cocaine, in co-writer/director Ryan Fleck's ('Young Rebels' (2005)) mildly interesting, Sundance winning Art House flick apparently adapted from his acclaimed short film 'Gowanus, Brooklyn' (2004) that also starred Epps, where Dan's conscious steady withdrawal from society awkwardly teeters between his growing concern over Drey's acquaintance with her imprisoned brother's drug dealing friend Frank (Anthony Mackie; '8 Mile' (2002), 'Million Dollar Baby' (2004)) and Dunne's own depression regarding former girlfriend and ex-junkie Rachel (Tina Holmes; 'Prince of Central Park' (2000)) returning after cleaning up her own life and getting married. Well, this one's definitely different and demanding. Primarily shot in a vaguely artful Cinema Verité style by cinematographer Andrij Parekh's fairly involved, hand held-like style of camera work, this hundred and eight-minute film is predominantly a soft character study of a life on the verge of self-destruction unwittingly distracted by the somewhat addictive responsibility of becoming a mentor. It's those two colliding extremes that makes 'Half Nelson' a potentially intriguing screening for the most part, but a lot of it plays out fairly low key and dull. It's almost as though Fleck and co-writer/editor Anna Boden's screenplay would have preferred to be an NFB documentary, purposely stripped bare of any overwhelming interest in actually telling a clearly dramatic story here. Unfortunately, that's its greatest weakness.

The characters are mundane, and what you end up doing is witnessing actors depict mundane lives stuck in various degrees of turmoil. Yes, most of the acting is undeniably outstanding - particularly that of Gosling, who lets his role completely consume him like a second skin. However, much of 'Half Nelson' feels like candidly captured prep work and audition scenes for an actual movie that has yet to be made. It's missing something that would otherwise serve to hold this movie together, in the way that a plot nudges a story along a tangible path for a paying audience to tap into. The plot is vague. What ever arc exists is too subtle for its own good. Like Gosling's character, the story drifts and stumbles without taking more than a couple steps in any given direction. As a result, if you're not captivated with any of these characters to begin with, little if any reason is given for you to particularly care about what happens to them. There's not a whole lot of unpredictability here, either. You know that the days are only going to get worse for Dan. He pontificates about the dynamics of change in his classroom, and yet can't seem to handle it outside of that school. His emotional neediness takes over, sabotaging opportunities for him to make real connections. Maybe that's the point, but it doesn't linger with you afterwards as much as the feeling that more could have been accomplished does. The potential is there to build an interesting story, but he's a shadow bereft of an explained history of his own, never letting you empathize or understand him beyond the fact that this picture is about this small series of moments in his life at this point. He merely struggles for a bit, and then retreats to the drugs, going through the motions without realizing anything. It's also obvious early on that being around drug abuse is a normal and non-judgmental experience for Drey, so it's unsurprising when she begins to exhibit curiosity about her teacher shortly after finding him in that state, to the point where she tries to be a friend to him. You find out a little more about Drey here, and see that she's simply seeking an adult male influence that doesn't exist in her lonely world. Dan. Frank. It doesn't matter to her, who she shyly bonds with at first. However, it's unclear what you're supposed to make of her slightly After School Special-like choices, while you sit at a safe distance in the theatre, encouraged to become little more than a silent voyeur to a convincing enough fiction that could very easily mirror real events happening in your own neighbourhood. My take is that 'Half Nelson' is full of fascinating ideas, but doesn't have the guts to follow through to a definite conclusion. Even the ending is agonizingly evasive, almost making you sense that this is where the actual movie is going start, just as the closing credits roll.

Rent this one if you're a big fan of Method Acting and aren't really interested in having a tangible story get in the way of your focus on Gosling's impressive performance, but 'Half Nelson' is too much a series of cobbled moments that don't really lead up to anything for it to be notably worthwhile over-all.

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Happy Feet
REVIEWED 11/06, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

Deemed an oddity by his peers and elders for his skippity-footed dancing ever since he was born to Emperorland's flock of Antarctica's singing Emperor Penquins, Mumble's (voiced by Elijah Wood; 'Flipper' (1996), 'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King' (2003)) interest in the vast world beyond and rumoured tales of its featherless, fat faced and front eyed alien inhabitants inspires him to forget that he can't sing anything to compete for his childhood friend Gloria's (Brittany Murphy; '8 Mile' (2002), 'Sin City' (2005)) lovely flipper as her potential mate, in this slightly simplistic yet over-all impressive computer animated children's movie from co-writer/director George Miller ('Mad Max' (1979), 'Babe: Pig in the City' (1998)), where Mumble's uniqueness is soon blamed as a bad omen and he's cast out for the flock's dangerously low yield of fish to survive on, so Mumble enlists the help of his new friends Ramón and The Guru Lovelace (both voiced by Robin Williams; 'Aladdin' (1992), 'Robots' (2005)) - all from a neighbouring flock of penquins - to prove his suspicions that the aliens living far beyond his familiar icy shore are the real culprits.

The first thing that strikes you about all of these wonderfully fluid, anthropomorphized cartoon birds is how expressive their eyes are. They seem real, made even more convincingly likable by their slightly affected individual voices. Although it does tend to become somewhat heavy handed regarding the ecology-minded twist near the end, 'Happy Feet' is a wonderful, family friendly adventure for little children and kids at heart. Mumble doesn't fit in anywhere that he should within his flock, because he does stand out and can't help but be completely different than everyone else in his flock, only finding acceptance when he meets others from a flock of smaller penguins who see his natural ability to dance as worthy. Of course, you can pretty well figure out the basic plot line of Miller's and co-writers Warren Coleman, John Collee and Judy Morris' screenplay within the first ten minutes. Outcast finds redemption as unlikely hero. However, the interesting side stories and consistently funny scenes still manage to pull you in and keep you motivated to care about what happens to all of these characters. It's also clever how real actors and this animated crew are combined later on, after Mumble somewhat comes into contact with humans. I don't want to give away too much, though. There are a couple of curious flaws in continuity, but a lot of the far more memorable the fun comes from being surprised by how various plot twists cleverly transpire throughout this ninety-eight minute crowd pleaser.

I fearlessly attended it with a movie theatre full of preschoolers during a weekend matinee, and even the smallest toddlers were enchanted through to the closing credits. Sure, there are a handful of intense scenes in this feature, where various nasty beasties put Mumble and his pals in danger of being eaten, but the dialogue prepares you for it in advance and everyone makes it to the happy ending. Williams is an enjoyable scene stealer throughout, and there's a wealth of recognizable music to help keep the story fairly light and undemanding for the most part. Good stuff. This one could just as easily be enjoyed as a potentially favourite and overplayed rental at home, but if you're itching to take the entire family to the movies, 'Happy Feet' is definitely a worthwhile choice.

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Happily N'Ever After
REVIEWED 01/07, © STEPHEN BOURNE
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REVIEW:

When Cinderella's (voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar; 'Scooby-Doo' (2002), 'The Grudge 2' (2006)) wicked Stepmother Frieda (Sigourney Weaver; 'Alien' (1979), 'Infamous' (2006)) takes over the vacationing Palace Wizard's (George Carlin; 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure' (1989), 'Jersey Girl' (2004)) magical Scales of Good and Evil that keeps all of the fabled characters in Fairytaleland living out their stories by the book, lowly royal servant Rick (Freddie Prinze Jr.; 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' (1997), 'Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed' (2004)) is skeptical that the kingdom's charming simpleton Prince (Patrick Warburton; 'Rebound' (2005), 'Open Season' (2006)) will be of any help in defeating Frieda and her motley army of villainous wolves and trolls, in this surprisingly mediocre and vapid animated comedy from director Paul J. Bolger that loosely borrows from and retools several renowned children's classics in along the same lines as Shrek (2001) and Hoodwinked (2006), where the Wizard's bumbling assistants Munk (Wallace Shawn; 'The Princess Bride (1987), 'The Incredibles' (2004)) and Mambo (Andy Dick; 'Inspector Gadget' (1999), 'Employee of the Month' (2006)) join a determined and love-stricken Cinderella in trying to divert the Prince from finding the missing owner of a glass slipper and convince him to defeat Frieda before she changes every fairy tale for the worse as that troubled enchanted land's self-proclaimed Evil Empress. While the over-all pacing and look of this eighty-seven minute feature is impressive, it's tough to figure out how worthwhile it is simply because it's not quite clear what age group 'Happily N'Ever After' is really intended for. The laughs predominantly consist of soft prat falls and mildly corny humour throughout which would probably be suitable for preschoolers, and yet writer Robert Moreland's script attempts to sustain a certain edginess with the dialogue that tends to make this effort feel like something that slightly more mature kids might be interested in - if they're not too old for a cartoon fairy tale. Although, it's arguable whether or not most children today are familiar with most of these characters, if they haven't seen the Disney classics. Frankly, I kept fighting a lingering skepticism that this picture was somewhat of an after thought, expecting to see blatant references to a possible upcoming computer game or a made-for-television spin-off or bags of merchandise related to the Wizard's assistants or Rick.

It's also strange that this film's promotional material cites The Brothers Grimm for its inspiration, even though the majority of what a paying audience sits through is clearly adapted from the version of Cinderella that includes her Fairy Godmother that was written as Cendrillon in 1697 by French author Charles Perrault (1628-1703) - who also wrote the more familiar versions of Little Red Riding Hood and Sleeping Beauty used here in the background. Jakob (1785-1863) and Wilhelm (1786-1859) Grimm's adaptations of those three stories weren't published in their compilation Children's and Household Tales until 1812, along with other stories such as Rapunzel, The Frog Prince, Snow White, and Rumpelstiltskin that this film refers to. Other fairy tales that weren't written by the Grimms are also mentioned peripherally in whole or part, such as Jack and the Beanstalk, actually published in 1890 by Brit writer Joseph Jacobs (1854-1916), and Three Billy Goats Gruff by Norwegians Peter Christen Asbjørnsen (1812-1885) and Bishop Jørgen Engebretsen Moe (1813-1882). I'm still trying to figure out where the three flying broomstick riding witches came from. Macbeth? Well no, it's anyone's guess. Without getting too far sidetracked from this movie, my point is that the literary connections are interesting relevant stuff in their own right, but bits appear to be summarily plucked from a loosely cobbled smorgasbord of fairy tales without much care. You certainly don't get the impression that Moreland's screenplay is as imaginatively constructed as that of 'The Brothers Grimm' (2006) for instance. It also seems lazily deceiving to merely attribute every tale to only one writing duo for no other apparent reasons than The Brothers Grimm are the most famous and nobody involved bothered to look up or acknowledge the truth, considering this production is more than likely intended for impressionable minds and those adults trying to expose those impressionable minds to bygone bedtime stories. Okay, enough ranting. 'Happily N'Ever After' is obviously a novelty attraction for parents who might be looking for something to either take little kids to or rent for the family as a stay-at-home matinee. The problem is that a certain level of clear familiarity with the original fables is required in order to understand the plot. Much of it doesn't make any sense, when taken out of context as presented, and ends up becoming a lot of noise and silly antics when ever the more important love story between Cinderella and Rick isn't in clear focus. Yes, there's a romance. One that has good potential, but it isn't really developed well enough to keep you motivated to care about or make you feel as though you actually aren't sitting through a fairly vapid popcorn flick that could have easily been a whole lot better. It's a shame, really.

This one is likely best left forgotten, but if you love fairy tale movies so much that you just gotta see it, renting 'Happily N'Ever After' as the second flick of a double feature with Disney's 'Cinderella' (1950) will probably make it seem a whole lot more worthwhile than it does on its own.

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