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The Expendables 2 (2012)
West previously directed Con Air (1997), Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) and The Mechanic (2011), and there's not much of a stretch here. A couple of those were great, but this is a stupid movie as Louisiana-based mercenary leader Barney Ross (Stallone) and his jolly, grizzled gang of for-hire killers end up storming through the Albanian mountainside, guns a-blazin' and teeth a-grindin', on yet another plot-unimportant mission to reignite the 80s action movie genre that offered little more than Grindhouse schlock with better production value because, apparently, it's a lot easier these days to secure $100 million budgets if the film isn't too thinky and just regurgitates a lot of the same dialogue-impaired, glorified violence moviegoers sat through decades ago. In The Expendables 2, Richard Wenk and Stallone's unabashedly paper-thin screenplay has this motley band of self-made caricatures seeking cold vengeance and saving the world from supposed nuclear annihilation by hunting down a brutal villain stupidly named Vilain (played by Jean-Claude Van Damme) and gleefully chewing out moldy one-liners while picking off vast populations of faceless militia men like they're an endless supply of blood bag piñatas. Judging from the unimaginably enormous amount of ammo and shrapnel punched into that small patch of Eastern Europe by these "good guys", it's tough not to imagine Ross wanting to let bygones be bygones and give Vilain lots of high fives and belly rubs if he was merely a simple, megalomaniacal arms dealer selling barrels o' bullets at bargain basement prices who murdered Ross' comrade but was disinterested in selling five tons of weapons grade plutonium to the highest bidder. Whoa you done me bad, gimme more ammo and don't kill my bud again, bro... Switch off your brain, it's a big gruesome and noisy video game that's completely bereft of believable morality or purposely developed characters beyond whatever on-screen charisma these visibly tired actors bring to the table while collecting a ridiculously easy paycheque. Word is, the recently released The Expendables 2 game actually runs as a four-player shoot-em-up prequel to this big screen sequel. You can see that game's trailer on this movie's official website, as well as find a fairly strange "Field Guide Dedicated to the Destruction of The Expendables" and a rather goofy Don't Press The Button video promo featuring Lundgren and Crews there. Just go to http://www.theexpendables2film.com/. Weirder still, go to the Canadian official website at http://www.trackfindkill.ca/ and you can enter to win a Broil King Regal Deluxe barbeque, a 47 inch Toshiba HDTV, or a gift card from Pizza Pizza or M&M Meat Shops. WTF. Figure that out for yourself, I'm clearly not smart enough to see the connection. Sure, gore and goofiness aside, The Expendables 2 is entertaining for the sheer novelty of seeing Stallone, Lundgren, Willis and Schwarzenegger relive much of the dim-witted, consequence-free high octane action that made them famous at the box office years ago in a newly made movie. It's a kick watching Van Damme and Chuck Norris working opposite these guys in this man child machismo Dream Team fantasy. Although pushed to the limits of tolerance at times, the self-parody is also reasonably fun throughout. That's really the whole point of The Expendables 2: Fun. It's not the hollow story, it's worthless. It's not about you tapping into whatever passes for acting here. It has nothing to do with adding something different or clever to that filmic genre for contemporary, post-9/11 ticket holders. It's simply a star-studded monster truck jamboree of might-is-right summer mayhem reminding you of all those 80s action movies that are better than this offering but stand as little more than guilty pleasure, groan-inducing punch lines in the relatively recent history of American Cinema. I guess that's fun. For some. If that's what you want, that's what you'll pay for. If you miss the 80s stuff, well, save your cash by digging out your VCR and just watch the 80s stuff again. If you want a memorably good movie that's actually worth the effort and budget poured into it, yeah, steer clear of The Expendables 2. Reviewed 08/12, © Stephen Bourne The Expendables 2 is rated 14A
by the Ontario Film Review Board for use of expletives, tobacco
use, and violent acts shown in clear, unequivocal and realistic
detail with blood and tissue damage, and is rated 13+ by la Régie
du Cinéma in Québec. REFERENCE:
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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End of Watch (2012)
What's particularly memorable about End of Watch is the camerawork. It's shown early on that Gyllenhaal's Taylor is taking a filmmaking class, explaining the constant video presence during his and Zavala's shifts and off-duty lives. Further footage comes from the patrol car camera and other sources, giving a paying audience a fully immersive and oftentimes gritty point of view - especially when all hell eventually breaks loose. However, what begins as found footage is soon wonderfully augmented by selectively introduced traditionally-shot scenes from cinematographer Roman Vasyanov that capture even more of Gyllenhaal and Peña's outstanding performances and those of this amazing supporting cast. Top marks to Ayer for recognizing this need and implementing it so tremendously well. Ayer's sense of believable dialogue is also phenomenal here, providing this on-screen duo with an uncanny wealth of natural insight and unassuming banter to work cinematic magic with in-character as they effortlessly lure you into their professional and personal worlds throughout this 109-minute picture. Unfortunately, that also becomes a problem because there's such an overabundance of it. To the point where those scenes feel like meandering filler. We get that they click. We get they're a perfect match as patrol partners. They nail it five minutes in. Get on with the movie already. The bromance turns into an exhausting chore to sit through, frankly. Beyond the big screen, the official website at http://www.endofwatchthefilm.com has the usual synopsis and galleries, but also offers up dossiers and rap sheets of this flick's key characters and gives Facebook users the chance to create your own as either a gangster or law enforcer. Clicking the site's Facebook link brings up more galleries and notes there without needing to login, as well as showcases the movie's soundtrack on iTunes. Check out this effort as a cheap matinee or small screen rental for the memorably great performances and clever camerawork throughout, but don't be surprised if the slow paced storytelling further dragged out by the script's curiously relentless bromance obsession leaves you bored long before the real action starts. Reviewed 09/12, © Stephen Bourne End of Watch is rated 18A by
the Ontario Film Review Board for occasional gory/grotesque images,
very intense/aggressive coarse language, slurs and sexual references,
illustrated or verbal references to drugs, alcohol or tobacco,
occasional upsetting or disturbing scenes, substance abuse, mild
sexual innuendo, tobacco use, violent acts shown in clear, unequivocal
and realistic detail with blood and tissue damage, and limited
instances of brief, visually explicit portrayals of violence,
and is rated 13+ by la Régie du Cinéma in Québec. REFERENCE:
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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Escape From Planet Earth (2013)
Escape From Planet Earth is definitely made for kids. That makes sense, considering its source. Canadians might remember Mainframe Entertainment's wildly successful computer animated TV series ReBoot (1994-2001). ReBoot was clearly made for teens. Rainmaker is the latest incarnation of Mainframe. That pretty much ends the notable fun facts, other than this flick also features the voices of Jessica Alba, Sarah Jessica Parker, George Lopez, Sofía Vergara, Ricky Gervais, and Steve Zahn. Who do they play? It doesn't matter. This movie is surprisingly mediocre and unimaginative. It's presented as a comedy for children, but the jokes consistently fall flat for kids and their accompanying adults. There's also a 3D version playing, so things do jab and jerk around a lot, all 3D-like, for no reason. Everything is bright-eyed and colourful, too. And, ooh, there's a food fight scene. Yawn. Director Cal Brunker and Bob Barlen's screenplay certainly sets the ground work for a potentially amazing aliens-on-Earth adventure, but so much of what transpires here feels lazily derivative of Monsters vs. Aliens (2009), Planet 51 (2009), Transformers (2007), Men in Black (1997), and even Independence Day (1996) that I couldn't help wonder how Escape From Planet Earth avoided being fast tracked to the wasteland of video-on-demand. This is a small screen effort. Too small for most tots. Checking out the official website at escapeearthmovie.com serves up the usual synopsis, scene stills, trailer page and social media links, plus a basic roster of the main characters. You'll also find the simple Escape From Planet Earth Area 51 maze and Gnarlach Rescue jumping games. Its Alien Welcome Kit features An Alien's Brief History of Planet Earth, where we learn Area 51 opened its door to alien visitors of every shape, colour and smell in 1947. The site's Alien Activities Funzone offers three printable puzzle pages that are also included in the six-page For Educators and Parents downloadable activities PDF from Young Minds Inspired. The website is more cleverly thought out than the movie itself. For a $40 million film project that's reportedly been in the works since 2007, Escape From Planet Earth is forgettable at best. If you have small kids who love anything Sci-Fi, save yourself the box office aggravation by pointing them at the comparably clever website while waiting a couple of seconds for this boring blockbuster rehash to air on the cartoon channel. Reviewed 02/13, © Stephen Bourne. Escape From Planet Earth is rated PG by the Ontario Film Review
Board for suspenseful situations with short scenes or glimpses
of scary characters or images usually in a comedic, fantasy or
historic setting, scenes that may cause a child brief anxiety,
or fear, limited embracing and kissing, and restrained portrayals
of non-graphic violence, and is rated G by la Régie du
Cinéma in Québec. REFERENCE:
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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Epic (2013)
Epic is reportedly loosely based on American children's author William Joyce's popular 1996 illustrated book, The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs. The book involved an evil spider overtaking an old woman's placid garden. However, if you happen to be a fan of that literary adventure, nothing but the Leaf Men seems to have made it to the big screen. All the same, this isn't the first film inspired by the wildly imaginative prose of William Joyce. Count in Disney's hilarious animated comedy Meet the Robinsons (2007) and DreamWorks Animation's wonderfully clever Rise of the Guardians (2012). Oscar hounds might also recognize Joyce as a filmmaker. He co-won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film in 2011 with The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore. As for Blue Sky Studios, big screen comedies Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who! (2008), Rio (2011), and the predominantly successful Ice Age four-picture franchise are among its previously screened animated projects. Knowing all that before heading in to this screening, it was still fairly easy to be skeptical. The trailers made Epic seem a bit too much like a gender-flipped knock-off of renowned French director Luc Besson's enjoyably corny kids flick Arthur and the Invisibles (2006), starring Freddie Highmore. The intended audiences differ by comparison, but both protagonists magically shrink and enter a fantasy world they weren't aware existed. And, both are thrown into the middle of a power struggle between good and evil. However, Epic offers up a far more comprehensive, contemporary twist on the bygone faerie tale lore it evokes. Like miniature medieval knights on horseback, the Leaf Men ride normal-sized yet saddled up hummingbirds in flight. In 2D or 3D, it's the coolest thing ever. Professor Bomba has searched for proof of their existence for years, collecting video and artifacts that have resulted in little more than him being labelled a crackpot. As swordsmen and archers, the Leaf Men are the military protectors of Queen Tara (voiced by Beyoncé Knowles), their shrouded home Moonhaven, and the surrounding woodlands of Copperbottom, New England that are threatened by Mandrake and his treacherous minions. Epic's morality-tipped screenplay by Joyce, James Hart, Daniel Shere, Tom Astle and Matt Ember revolves around a magical ceremony performed by tiny Queen Tara. She's like a Mother Nature figure, empowered with preserving the life force of the forest. The ceremony is meant to perpetuate that healing power for another hundred years - much to the chagrin of Mandrake and his gremlin-like Boggans dwelling in the carcass of a rotted tree surrounded by a septic bog. Mandrake plots to sabotage Tara's ceremony by corrupting her rejuvenating powers for his own schemes of spreading what he considers to be beautiful decay throughout that thriving forest. Everyone needs a hobby. Mandrake's is putting the fun in fungus, I guess. Mandrake's motives are a notable weakness here. Sure, he's the antithesis of Tara's flora fawning reign, but he feels like just another lazily cobbled stock cartoon villain for the most part. He hates stuff just because. He has claws, which make no sense. He looks like Batman's evil brother, dressed in a matted bat pelt complete with the dead beast's pointy ears jutting upwards from its hood-like head. Mandrake is just plain weird and forgettable. Forget him. What's interesting about Epic's larger scenario is that humans aren't particularly relevant to that wee world. We're referred to as "stompers": Giant, lumbering buffoons purposely avoided or mocked. Even when M.K. is swept into Queen Tara's realm through a chance encounter, this young woman pretty much remains a helpful bystander in that mystical wilderness of little people. They're not reliant on M.K. or any other human to go all Avatar (2009) and save their woodland butts. The fact that Epic also isn't a heavy-handed cinematic sermon preaching environmentalist dogma to young minds is a huge bonus. The Leaf Men aren't fending off the greedy corporate development seen in The Lorax (2012). The story is simpler than that, even ignoring the potential allegory of M.K. learning to once again appreciate life following the trauma of her mother's untimely death. While the animation is extraordinary, there is an unfortunately tangible lack of immersive wonder throughout Epic that tends to diminish the otherwise amazing mythic atmosphere created by Blue Sky Studios here. I wanted more big scenes. More visually epic, wow factor moments. At the same time, the secondary stories of grizzled Leaf Men leader Ronin (Colin Farrell) and of impetuous teen scoundrel Dagda (Blake Anderson) are fairly impressive in keeping this movie's momentum clicking along at an enjoyable pace. There's also a hefty portion of goofy humour served up by Mub the slug and Nod the snail (voiced by Aziz Ansari and Josh Hutcherson). Good stuff. Switching over to this flick's slickly designed yet slow-loading official website at epicthemovie.com offers up the story's synopsis, cast bios, videos and scene galleries. You'll also discover Bomba's Files, where you can more closely explore the professor's various gadgets and findings, and there's a series of online games that include Leaf Man Archery and Bufo's Epic Race. That last game is fun to goof off with, where you navigate a Leaf Man riding a hummingbird through a wooded obstacle course to collect plant pods for points. It elaborates on a scene from the movie, where Dagda rides his bird in a race run by a sleazy reptile named Bufo. As for the theatrical posters from US-based creative agency The Refinery, there are a handful of international layouts that reach far beyond the bright but template-like character spotlight sheets seen in North American theatres. For instance, the French and Asian ones actually featuring characters in mid-flight are definitely the most eye-catching and relevant Epic posters, with the former grabbing a resounding fave nod. While not as visually epic as this kid-at-heart movie buff wanted, Epic is a thoroughly enjoyable kid's matinee brimming with freshly imaginative storytelling that's well worth checking out on the big screen. Reviewed 05/13, © Stephen Bourne. Epic is rated PG by the Ontario
Film Review Board, citing suspenseful situations with short scenes
or glimpses of scary characters or images usually in comedic,
fantasy or historic setting, scenes that may cause a child brief
anxiety, or fear, limited embracing and kissing, and restrained
portrayals of non-graphic violence, and is rated G by la Régie
du Cinéma in Québec. REFERENCE:
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Stephen Bourne's Movie Quips © Stephen Bourne. Moviequips.ca and moviequips.com are the property of Stephen Bourne. All content of this website is owned by Stephen Bourne, unless obviously not (such as possible reference links, movie synopsis and/or posters featured under the terms of fair use) or attributed otherwise. This website is based in Ottawa, Canada. |
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