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HOME > QUIPSOGRAPHY > THE MONUMENTS MEN (2014) > PAGE 2 Even the most contrived Art heist movie manages to deliver characters pumped up on adrenaline and contagiously hungry to succeed. Volatile temperaments versus ballsy intellect. Sadly, watching oil paint dry offers more intrigue than most of what transpires in The Monuments Men. Which is odd, considering most of these seem to be composite characters inspired by actual people. Is this crew new to Hollywood, or did they forget how to embellish and elevate characters beyond reality to create thoroughly attention-grabbing protagonists? Lee Marvin must be spinning like a lathe in his grave... Apart from Blanchett's glaringly believable performance here, this cast barely manages to stay in character as they quip and chuckle their lines of dialogue like they're reading a day trip tourist pamphlet. Impersonal. Don't get me wrong. I didn't go to this screening expecting Clooney, Damon, Goodman and Murray to get all Tarantino crazy-eyed, flailing around neck-deep in blood and bad attitude all the way to Hitler's bunker in the name of Neoclassicism, Post-Impressionism and Dada. No, I knew this flick was loosely based on historical events, not fantasy. Real people did this. So, I expected its otherwise proven cast of talent to give me a reason to care about their fact-based characters, as well as care about the aesthetic legacy they're so passionate to preserve. They failed. Clooney is just Clooney. Damon and Goodman are just Damon and Goodman. Murray? Yeah, he's always Bill Murray. And, even when the question is raised numerous times regarding the validity of people putting their lives at dire risk for the sake of art, the script fails the passion fuelling their mission. The actors' eyes just glaze over. Important fine art becomes a crate of pretty McGuffins. Maybe they should have swung by Paris after-all to crack open a few Gestapo skulls while finding Picasso and Matisse - both famous artists who actually stayed in Nazi-occupied Europe. Which begs the question: Why did the Monuments Men care so much about saving the masterpieces and not so much about saving the living painters and sculptors of those masterpieces? Then again, was Hitler really so dumb that he didn't think of forcing Picasso and Matisse to crank out free paintings for his Führermuseum art collection? "Matisse? Bah, I’ve already got fünf Matisses!" Curious. Barely worth the price of admission beyond watching Cate Blanchett's short yet wonderfully memorable supporting performance, The Monuments Men is pretty much a bland star-studded forgery of real events. This effort truly should have risen to the high level of passion and pathos those cultural treasures and the heroes who preserved them deserve. Whether or not it exists to merely sell Edsel's books, support the on-going repatriation of Nazi loot, or help advocate commemorating the real Monuments Men while a few still live, this faux war movie is a shamefully embarrassing dud. Reviewed 02/14, © Stephen Bourne, moviequips.ca The Monuments Men is rated PG
by the Ontario Film Review Board, citing use of expletives, limited
use of slurs, nudity in a non-sexual context, crude content,
scenes that may cause a child brief anxiety, or fear, and restrained
portrayals of non-graphic violence, and is rated G by la Régie
du Cinéma in Québec. REFERENCE: |
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